My husband has taken my diazepam, again!!

[Givenup2026]

This is at least the second time that it has happened. My GP is very kind that they give me 6 pills very much every now and then that I use when to relax as a “one off “. They’re great, and genuinely maybe I’ve taken like 12 pills in my entire life.

anyway I’ve just discovered my husband took my whole stash at some point because of “hip pain”. The irony is don’t even work for him!!!! I’m furious!!

I agree about the addictive quality. My Mum was prescribed another drug in the same class in the early 70's for menopause, and it took her years to get off them.

I was prescribed diazepam for pain in the past for sciatica. It really was the only thing that worked to stop the agony of the spasms. I never seem to find anything even vaguely addictive, though.

Has he actually forwarded the message to the GP? Did you see the “submit” button clicked and confirmed? Does he have the same GP as you?

Yes to all three questions

This is not a healthy relationship. Are you sure you want to stay together?

No. I have extensive experience in disability support, including for mental health and I’ve come across similar use of benzodiazepines. What OP is describing is not anxiety or depression that responds to SSRI’s. It’s my understanding that these are acute anxiety episodes which are made worse by other associated conditions and respond well to the occasional application of Diazepam in very small doses. The GP is clearly happier to prescribe for short term bursts as and when needed, rather than have OP on long term meds which can have unpleasant side effects - as OP says herself, why would she take these meds 365 days a year to combat something that only affects her for two or three of those days. It’s well within the prescribing guidelines and GP discretion.

The voice of reason.

But the point here is that virtually the whole thread is a derail. OP is getting advice and criticism on her own medication, despite the fact that she has no problem with it, and neither does her GP. It’s not what she posted about - she wanted advice as to how to handle the fact that her DH has stolen the drugs. The majority of posters are completely bypassing this and either suggesting inappropriate alternatives or outright telling her she shouldn’t be taking them and her GP is irresponsible.

The GP won’t replace the stolen drugs - the NHS operates a zero tolerance policy for this kind of thing. But she’ll likely be able to access her next prescription if she can assure the GP this won’t happen again and the meds will be locked away - although they may prescribe smaller amounts and more monitoring.

Her DH has self reported. What will happen now is that the GP will report the theft under NHS reporting of controlled drugs rules and OP will be advised to report to the police on 101 and get a crime number, which will be recorded on her health record. If her DH is registered with the same GP, a safeguarding procedure will be triggered, the theft recorded along with the crime number and his health record will be reviewed. He will either receive a recommendation or an actual referral for treatment for drug seeking/potential addiction.

I wasn't questioning your usage OP. I was just disagreeing with the person who said you can't get high because such small amounts are prescribed. I wasn't questioning whether you are taking it responsibly, ie as your GP has prescribed.

I was anticipating he would claim that the diazepam tablets weren't as important as painkillers would be. To be clear, I would totally disagree with that - medication prescribed to relieve acute distress is important whether it is caused by anxiety or pain - but it is a reality that people do not always take mental health seriously.

So how achievable is it to end this relationship, OP? I'm not trying to manifest future physical ill-health for you, but statistically, as we grow old, the odds that we will develop a condition that requires active pain management only increase. Going into old age living with an adult who cannot be trusted not to steal your pain relief makes you very vulnerable, especially as those conditions may also rob you of the energy and independence to replace the prescription or report the theft.

Simply put, you cannot trust this man to be your carer and you cannot guarantee you will never need one.

Yeah I was just clarifying than they’re “stronger” ones so he’ll definitely get a buzz

And you are happy to stay with someone that has told you they are selfish enough they would take cancer meds from you if that ever happened? Their want for a buzz trumps your health. Honestly im sad for you that you feel a relationship with a selfish crappy person like that is better than being alone.

So he is lying or delusional that he doesn’t feel anything?
op, what happens if you now can’t get more? How do you keep living with your dh?
what happens if you can get more? Have you got a lock box and told him if this ever happens again he’s leaving that day? I suggest he leaves now for a few days to think, because he seems to have monumentally underreacted to what he’s done. Loving husbands do not steal their wife’s meds.

I think he’s a bit delusional, I think it obviously does something. It was subtle though , he fell asleep while watching TV (normal) but the way he moved his head was definitely not normal.

im hoping I can get it again, but I’ll have to cross that bridge.

I have a feeling it’s also personal. He hasn’t taken them from anyone else he’s taken them from his own wife. He’s put you in a very tough spot.
If he wanted to get more regular supplies your paltry prescription wouldn’t be worth the bother.
I think he’s done it to piss you off and because he thinks any needs you have are worthless.

Not really, he simply has no access to anybody else’s prescriptions that’s genuinely a leap. He was just being opportunistic

When I saw the comment about how the meds don't affect him, my immediate thought was he's overcompensating to deflect suspicion. Like a cheater making a point of telling his wife how unattractive/boring/annoying the next door neighbour is, hoping she won't suspect their affair.

"Of course I'm not cheating on you with her – I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole!" = "Of course I wouldn't steal your prescription meds – they don't affect me anyway!"

TBH when we had this conversation Was before I got them prescribed for the first time.

The first time his back went into spasm he got offered diazepam or zapain and he said that he has tried diazepam recreationally before and had never had any “buzz” out of them.

He knew that you were going to notice any tablets being missing eventually, so he wanted to take them all before you hid the rest of the prescription. In his head, claiming that the first couple of tablets did nothing for him is a justification for taking the rest of the prescription to see whether the additional tablets did something.

Personally, for me, such a lie would only add insult to injury, but I'm not the one he's trying to excuse himself to.

If I was you op I'd be reconsidering the relationship. Your husband is a selfish person.

He actually said he was very much aware they were doing nothing but kept taking them thinking higher doses would him a “buzz” . There were only like 6 of them so I’m sure he probably took them in 2 goes

So he says he was disappointed with the effect of the initial dose. Does that justify him stealing more from you?

I’m not justifying him, I’m just explaining his mental process (or lack there of)

I understand, but you need to keep thinking about the impact on you. Don't get too caught up in how he rationalises it. You're not a bit-part character in a play about him.

If you install a lockable cabinet affixed to the wall, how confident are you that you can keep the key hidden from him?

Update: the GP wants to see him face to face and has been referred to the NHS path for addictions with a case worker. I’ve already spoken with them and they’re lovely.

now if this will incite change or not that’s yet to be seen.

I don’t understand how you’re so calm. He’s stolen two of the four prescriptions, you say he will take any drug he can get hold off. Stole your meds you need to, took them and then sat there in front of you with the effect visible. So he could enjoy himself.

is he mentally well, for example does he have depression or some form of personality defect, is he always so selfish and put his enjoyment above your suffering, lie to you?

is this really the only area he prioritises himself, that he loses control round drugs?