My husband has taken my diazepam, again!!

[Givenup2026]

This is at least the second time that it has happened. My GP is very kind that they give me 6 pills very much every now and then that I use when to relax as a “one off “. They’re great, and genuinely maybe I’ve taken like 12 pills in my entire life.

anyway I’ve just discovered my husband took my whole stash at some point because of “hip pain”. The irony is don’t even work for him!!!! I’m furious!!

As always, someone’s mum on the internet thinks they know better than the OP and her qualified GP

It’s not so much that it’s more complicated, but they’re understudied and can definitely be misunderstood.

As an example, when I’m happy/calm my hyperphantasia can recreate like being in a field surrounded by flowers etc…. When stressed/ angry I imagine more “gorey” things. I haven’t experienced the nasty stuff in like 10-11 years but now I can understand they’re different sides of the same coin. However, when I tried to explain the “nasty experience” the clinician I spoke with at the time really thought it was schizophrenia. But it really isn’t, I just have a very “active” imagination.

It’s not as simple as that. The GP will have to report the incident to NHS England under the Controlled Drugs reporting system and that triggers NHS safeguarding protocols. The GP has to document what happened and is legally required to advise the patient to report it to the police to obtain a crime reference number - the 101 non urgent number is used for this.

If OP’s DH is registered with the same GP they have duty of care for his potential drug-seeking or dependency issues. There will likely be a safeguarding review and signposting or referral to local substance misuse.

For those saying that the GP will refuse OP any further meds, that’s unlikely. GP’s operate a zero tolerance policy and won’t prescribe to replace the stolen meds, but if they can be assured that there will be no repeat and meds will be locked away they will likely issue in smaller quantities in future, and monitor.

Why is everyone so concerned when this clearly works for you and you only get a very limited prescription?!

Because this is MN and if you take benzodiazepines at all - even in very limited quantities and with strict control as per OP’s situation - you absolutely must be an addict, and your GP is crazy to supply them when they can just prescribe an SSRI, even though they aren’t appropriate for what OP has described. It’s the same with threads on alcohol. If you have one small sherry once a month then you’re clearly an alcoholic - when in reality most MN contributors on these threads have no idea what constitutes addiction to either.

Forgive me for blowing your minds, but in hospitals, when they have patients with impaired cognition (e.g. dementia, learning disabilities) who get too panicked to allow tests, the doctors there give them diazepam! There are thousands of people up and down the country who have been prescribed a tablet of diazepam in the cabinet to take before painful or frightening medical procedures.

Bar the thieving husband, the OP has a system which works for her mental health.
The husband is the problem, so either OP gets rid of the husband or installs a lockable cabinet. Given that he has no shame about the OP catching him, the cabinet needs to be heavy-duty enough that he can't just smash it open. Personally, the trouble required inclines me to advising she get rid of the husband.

I'm not going to knock SSRIs or other anti-depressants, because I have seen them have life-changing effects on people with chronic depression. However, even the people who find them life-changingly beneficial experience side-effects. If you suffer from chronic depression, those side-effects are small change compared to life without medication.

But if you are genuinely in good health with three diazepam tablets a year, where is the benefit in changing to a daily regime of antidepressants? Would people take the same approach to pain relief? If OP had an emergency prescription of controlled drugs for pain relief that was used 4 times in eight years, would people tell her she should really be taking a different medication every day for eight years?

Honestly OP, don’t waste your time explaining yourself any more.

It sounds as if you have a sensible, knowledgeable GP who recognises that prescribing a tiny amount of benzos for use when you hit crisis point works for you. And that actually matches the NHS guidelines for prescribing. If your use was escalating or increasing I’m sure your GP would put the brakes on but it doesn’t sound as if that is remotely the case.

Talking therapies don’t always work. It sounds as if you manage your mental health 99.99% of the time so there’s absolutely no indication for SSRIs etc.

Much as PPs may disapprove, benzos still have their place in medicine when used with care, which sounds like the case here.

Propranolol can be good for dealing with the physical symptoms of an anxiety crisis like racing heart, shaking hands etc but might not have enough of an effect on calming your mind. They also typically can’t be taken if you have asthma.

Personally, if occasional benzos work for you I wouldn’t worry. You and your GP are both happy.

But you do need to figure out your DH. Taking your medication - and using it all - are huge red flags that he has a drug problem that he can’t control. And this might put your benzo prescription at risk. What he did isn’t ok - I’m glad he’s having to tell the GP what he did but that might not undo the damage. Trouble is, if he won’t accept he has a problem, you’re going to get nowhere.

You dont need a dealer, you can get an actual medical prescription if it is for pain. But honestly it sounds like your Husband is looking for an excuse to take all the medication he can get his hands on and I would be surprised if they don't put a note on not only your file, but his too, as this is not the behaviour of someone that should be getting any prescriptions for addictive substances.

I honestly would consider leaving someone over that behaviour. Its selfish and nasty knowing that you have had 4 prescriptions and he has stole 2 of them and stopped you potentially being able to get them again. And he seems so unfussed about it and you dont sound particularly angry either. I couldn't get over that level of selfishness.

Also because OPs husband has stolen her prescription though, which is concerning behaviour and does need to be taken seriously. Some posters are overreacting to the whole situation and saying the GP is being irresponsible, the OP is being irresponsible etc, I get that. But there is a problem (the OPs husband), and it would be irresponsible to just keep replacing them and not taking more steps to stop the husband from stealing them.

Of course I’m pissed off, but is that going to solve what he’s already done?

he accepts he has a problem, but again that doesn’t really solve anything unless he actually does something about it otherwise it’s just lip service.

I did tell him that if I were to get cancer, I have zero guarantees he won’t go and take my painkillers.

He’s an idiot that I wouldn’t consider him necessarily an addict, but he definitely has zero self control.

He could be higher risk for developing an addiction or for misusing prescription drugs without being an active addict now though. Which is why you need the locked box for prescription meds that only you can open. He's shown very clearly that you can't trust him with prescription drugs.

But all of these are situations where the use of the drug is tightly controlled and therefore lower risk. Having prescription meds that are high risk for abuse (which diazepam is) in a house where they can be accessed by someone with addictive tendencies, someone who's had drug issues in the past, is much higher risk. He could start by taking OPs small prescription and then decide to start buying on the street instead. I agree with you mostly but still think it's important not to minimise the risk. Just because it's widely used doesn't mean the risk of misuse of addiction and misuse isn't there. And just to be clear I'm not suggesting the OP is getting addicted.

I would agree on this if he actually felt anything but even according to him, he feels no different (unlike with zapain).

I think he’s tried most drugs under sun and will definitely take some if offered, however AFAIK he’s never taken the extra step of getting a dealer in the past 15-18 years.

Some GPS may be in tune with their patients but OP has already had one whole script stolen by her opportunistic drug user husband and the GP still prescribed them after knowing that.

I would be shocked if the GP writes her another prescription for a controlled substance after yet another drug theft. There's no benefit to prescribing her medication that will likely be stolen but there's known risk that the drug will go to someone it's not prescribed for.

And @Givenup2026 , your husband would steal any meds that would get him high. He doesn't care that he's stealing a med that works for your condition and will possibly make it impossible for you to get it again, he got what he wanted, a little bit relaxed or he sold them and got some cash. You live with an opportunistic drug user who doesn't give a shit. Maybe that's what you should be doing something about.

I’m sure he didn’t sell them

But he definitely used some on Sunday as I could tell something was “off”.

I wouldn't believe him when he says he doesn't feel any different on them. It's a pretty typical lie. And having known someone who started abusing prescription Xanax (this was in the US, where doctors are a lot more liberal with prescribing benzos), I know exactly what you mean by something seeming off.

Seriously, do not trust him with your prescriptions. I'm not blaming you for him stealing them of course, but now that you know he's done this do not give him the opportunity to do it again. Lock them away. Take the risk seriously.

Just because he doesn't have a problem now does not mean he won't have one in the future. Just because you think he doesn't have a problem now doesn't mean there isn't a problem. Stealing prescription medication is worrying behaviour and diazepam is a high risk drug.

Givenup2026

I did tell him that if I were to get cancer, I have zero guarantees he won’t go and take my painkillers.

I am glad you have foreseen this. I consider it extremely probable that he would. What did he say when you pointed this out?

There are dozens and dozens of different treatments for anxiety ranging from holistic, to medication to therapy. And I would imagine and uncountable number of combinations of these things people can try to overcome their anxiety. Some do extremely well on SSRIs (I did, I took them for 6 months and they really helped me) some respond well to therapy (I didn’t) then there’s journaling, meditation, exercise, diet… I could go on. The point is, OP has found a combination of treatments that work for her she clearly isn’t abusing this medication, her GP, that I imagine knows far more than anyone on this thread, has prescribed this to her so obviously thinks it is the right treatment path. Why is everyone questioning this? And not the original question which was (and I am paraphrasing) is she BU for being livid that her DH stole them (no she’s not BU)

He actually didn’t have an answer.

Everyone saying you can't take valium for pain - you can. My GP has prescribed it for my sciatica once in a while and my friend had it for a frozen shoulder.
Also, the GP prescribes like 2mg... you can't get 'high' off that.

Could he have sold them?

If someone can't say no they absolutely won't take drugs off a cancer patient they have a serious problem. Red flags all over the place.

I’m pretty certain he didn’t.

But he could have taken all six 2mg tablets at once. I've never taken diazepam but according to a careful Google it looks like taking all six in one go could give a nice euphoric buzz, depending on your tolerance. Taking them as prescribed is very different to taking drugs that are not prescribed for you, or at frequencies/dosages that are not prescribed.

People do develop addictions by misusing prescription drugs. Not that I'm suggesting that will happen to OP. But I don't think we can be sure her husband was only stealing them to relieve his pain. And if he was, he should get a prescription for himself. Taking drugs that have been prescribed for someone else is serious.

He obviously took it for the “buzz”.

BTW my pills are 5mg, and I’m supposed to take them in a “ladder style” if needed (with 3 being the absolute maximum). I never even get drowsy nor sleepy.