AIBU to think I shouldn’t have had to run the party myself after paying £275?

[Booyou123]

My son turned 10 this weekend and we booked a UV glow football party for 15 boys. It was his first proper birthday party since he was 3, so it felt like quite a big milestone.

Before booking, I repeatedly called and emailed the company to confirm exactly what would be provided. I was told there would be a neon football, glow bibs, UV equipment and that the hall would be properly marked out. We were specifically told the children should wear dark clothing for the glow-in-the-dark experience.

I was also told the coach would need 45 minutes to an hour to set up, so I paid for additional hall hire.

On the day, the coach arrived with two UV lights, two football goals and some rubber markers. There was no neon football, no glow bibs and the setup took about 10 minutes. After 15 mins the kids wanted the lights on because they couldn’t see the ball.

We had paid for 45 minutes of dodgeball and 45 minutes of football. The dodgeball never happened. I was told the company had forgotten to pack the equipment, while my husband was told it had been stolen from the coach’s van.

The coach seemed completely overwhelmed by a group of 15 ten-year-old boys. There was very little structure to the activities and it was mostly the children making up their own games. Parents had to prompt drink breaks and a few children later reported feeling sick or unwell. When one child was injured, there didn’t appear to be a first aid kit available - which is shocking for a sports coach from a sports company?!

The football itself wasn’t really organised. At times it was just 15 children chasing one ball around the hall, which inevitably led to frustration and arguments.

The thing that is confusing me is that despite all of this, the children actually had a brilliant time. They made up their own games, played bulldog, organised their own mini football matches and generally had a great laugh together. My son came home happy and said he loved his party.

So I’m left feeling quite conflicted. On one hand, the kids had fun and my son enjoyed himself. On the other hand, I spent most of the party stressed, managing issues, questioning safety, and feeling like the service delivered was nothing like what was advertised.

I’ve complained to the company and reported my concerns to Citizens Advice.

AIBU to think this goes beyond simply a disappointing party and into genuinely poor and potentially unsafe delivery of a children’s event?

I am furious and I was really worried about the safety of the children so I intervened and did a few games myself, (Ex primary teacher)

I researched this company very well. They partner with goals to do events, they have great reviews with photos, an active instagram with weekly postings about events taking place.

AIBU to think this goes beyond simply a disappointing party and into genuinely poor and potentially unsafe delivery of a children’s event?

Parents complaining about what? Sounds like the kids had a whale of a time so whyat would you parents moan about

I think you are only thinking about first aid kit and accident book after the event because you feel you needed them but that was actually your responsibility to check and the venue would have them (most often kept in the kitchen ime). If the kid was ok and you told the parent on collection that is dealt with. The company let you down but you made the best of it, kids enjoyed it and you made sure of that. Chances are a parent may ask you for a recommendation for their kid’s party but you can then honestly say they did not provide what you had booked so would be cautious about using them again.

I’m confused at why you’re embarrassed about the parents opinions, when you’ve just said they didn’t stay, so wouldn’t have seen what happened.

The parents will have picked up their kids, asked if they had a good time, kids will say “it was great”, and parents will think no more of it. They’ll just be happy they had a couple of hours break from one of their kids, maybe got a few things done, kid got some exercise and time away from a screen - everyone happy.

Why would the parents care about the quality of the experience if a) they didn’t pay for it, and b) their child had fun?

I think you deserve a refund OP but I think you've played all your cards too early. They would be more likely to refund you to prevent a bad review, but that's too late now. You've already done everything before hearing them out.

Even the best companies mess up sometimes, at least listen to them before getting the authorities involved. Oh and relax a bit, ten year olds can run for hours, or stop whenever they want. There were drinks available. It's okay! It was fun.

So after the kids had pizza, and we cut the cake there was 10 mins till pick up so they went into the hall just to play. Some kids were very hyper at that point and two got into a little bit of a fight. Two
parents saw - I am sure they are judging me.

That’s nothing to do with the party hosts though. And they’re also not your children, nobody will be judging you for this

Trust me on this. They might judge the parents of the fighting kids, they might judge the kids themselves. They will not be judging you. (I'm a mum of five, now grown up, kids).

Children always fight. They are 10. Tbh who cares?

You don’t need to message the other parents with apologies! If they weren’t there then all they will have heard from their DC is that they had a great time.

I mean this kindly, but no-one is that interested in the specifics of other peoples kids parties. If your DC came home and said they’d had an amazing time but the ball didn’t glow like it was meant to, would you expect the party parent to apologise?!

The issue with the company though I think you are right to be pursue.

You do sound abit over anxious op. I did a kids party that was way worse than that. Life goes on!

I'm sure none of the parents are judging you but even if they were, so what? THE KIDS ENJOYED THEMSELVES. The point of the party was to make your son happy and he was. You have lodged a complaint and asked for a refund, now you need to wait for a response.

I wouldn’t apologise to the parents, I think you have your teacher/parent hat on and have noticed things they wouldn’t e.g. first aid kit, and only you know what you paid for versus what was delivered.

But I do think this was poor service - things that I would’ve felt were essential (UV bibs, UV ball, structure/coaching/games) were not provided and you had paid for these. When you spoke to the coach earlier in the week, was this the person who turned up?

I also think the coach not noticing or being able to deal with injuries seems very iffy - it should’ve been in the risk assessment so he knew where to find things in that venue. And I would’ve thought a professional sports-related company would have their own first aid kit and accident book so they can deal with injuries and keep records in case of complaints or questions from their insurance. But I work with children under 5 so perhaps I also have a different hat on

I have an (almost) 10 year old and am an autistic perfectionist so I get it, I really do. But I promise the children fighting have absolutely nothing to do with you - this is a high energy age and there are always little run-ins at the end of a party. the only lesson to take from this is that the party was slightly too long. We've all been there!

At the end of my son's last party (an outdoor laser tag thing), the parents showed up to find me yelling at their kids for going halfway up the trees in the parking lot. I turned my back for a second and they were gone. They are old enough to know better so the parents were embarrassed for themselves.

I wouldn't apologise at all - I'd just send a group text (assuming there's a WhatsApp group... or to each)

Thanks so much for coming to celebrate Johnny's birthday yesterday! Was a chaotic time but lots of fun was had - very happy birthday boy here!!

The end. Am guessing most of them wouldn't know anything about it, they weren't there to see and no reason to bring it up, and the rest of it is between you and the company. Suppose if you want to save them from booking the same you could just say something breezy like...

Thanks so much for coming to Johnny's birthday yesterday! Was a chaotic time (wouldn't recommend this particular company!) but lots of fun was had - very happy birthday boy here!

Or similar however you'd say it.

They could have fought even if you had the most perfect party. They wont have been judging you, kids fight sometimes it is what is is.

You’re spiralling you’ve complained (in many formats) to the company about not providing what they said they would, now you just need to wait to see their response. You don’t need to apologise to the parents, they won’t even be thinking about the fact it wasn’t uv now or about the party, you don’t need to get them to complain or anything, you just need to wait.

Thanks everyone. I know I was/am spiralling but I feel so much better with everyone’s comments. It’s really helpful to talk it out, I don’t feel so alone or awful parent anymore.

My husband didn’t really understand my feelings about it, he thought it was funny and we will laugh about it later. Not on the same wavelength for this one.

I think you're being OTT about the safety aspect. Kids get hurt playing football and dodegball all the time even when being watched by coaches - these are physical games and i would expect kids to get knocked during them.

10yr olds should know when they need a drink because they are hot - they don't need to be told that.

You are right to complain about the lack of readiness and the lack of set up.

I’ll definitely post the companies response when I do get one and update the thread.

unless they’re a particularly bitchy bunch of parents they won’t be thinking much of anything.
kids had fun, kids entertained. Job done. Your son had a great time with his mates.

Focus on the parts of the contract not delivered - neon ball and bibs, and dodgeball. Party not managed well. No accident book.

like others have said, they weren’t out playing on the roads unsupervised. Running around for 90m won’t hurt them. They are 10 and can grab a drink. They’re not nursery.

Please don’t write to the parents to apologise - I do mean this kindly but by the time your child is 10 you really don’t care how other peoples parties have gone other than whether your child enjoyed it - which they all did. I honestly couldn’t care less if there was a neon ball or not but I get why you do which is why a complaint is sufficient to the company. If you messaged and said anything other than thanks for coming and thanks for the gift then I’d probably end up asking my child what on earth happened and then you’ve made it into the big deal and subject of gossip you are very keen to avoid and that would be on you. No one cares but you:

it’s 9am on Monday morning, you’ve already complained to all possible channels you can think of so you now need to give them a chance to respond which they likely will in terms of an apology and a refund and then you need to move on.

They should refund you, at least partially because they didn’t deliver what was promised at all. You could have easily just taken a football to a local field and had it there for all it was worth, bet they’d have had just as much fun!

As a parent I‘d be concerned to receive a message about safety and confused when the safety issue was only the drinking and the first aid kit. I would just say in your message thanks etc.; your child may have mentioned some organisational issues at the party, unfortunately the company we hired let us down with many of the aspects we ordered but luckily the kids got in the spirit of it and had a great time together. Fine to mention the first aid kid in the complaint to the company but don’t make the parents think it was worse than it was.
Badly behaved kids always reflect on their own parents only. A parent of a 10 year old will know well that there is no controlling a badly brought up party guest.

Sounds stressful.

Unfortunately, the only thing I have learned from any football or sport party is to always have your own first aid kit.

Small claims court OP. Wait for their response and if it’s not acceptable to you, you can find template letters online for notifying intention of making a claim against them. It will stop you spiralling because it structures the complaint, and there is set a process to follow, which is explained for you. It lets the company know that you are serious. You need to tell them what the problem is, how you would like it to be rectified and give a timescale for their reply. You can then escalate as appropriate. Links below.

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/law-and-courts/legal-system/small-claims/Problems-with-goods-letter-before-court-action/

https://www.which.co.uk/consumer-rights/letter/letter-before-small-claims-court-claim-aSFAC8Q6Jqan

Honestly op that’s nothing. A friend had a party for 9 year olds doing a summer craft activity in a lodge in a large beautiful park in the summer. They all ran off. She rang me hysterical I HAVE LOST THEM ALL!! Poor woman. Little minxes they all came back in the end.

Just to say we have a company near us that does sports parties (in their own hall) and it's brilliantly organised. You have to provide your own food and drinks, but they have all the kit and the hosts are great with organising a series of fun games for a big ish group of kids, and getting everyone involved, whether they are sporty or not.

So it definitely can be done well, and I think you're correct to complain about your experience.

However it sounds like the kids had fun regardless so I wouldn't spend time beating yourself up from that point of view.