AIBU to think I shouldn’t have had to run the party myself after paying £275?

[Booyou123]

My son turned 10 this weekend and we booked a UV glow football party for 15 boys. It was his first proper birthday party since he was 3, so it felt like quite a big milestone.

Before booking, I repeatedly called and emailed the company to confirm exactly what would be provided. I was told there would be a neon football, glow bibs, UV equipment and that the hall would be properly marked out. We were specifically told the children should wear dark clothing for the glow-in-the-dark experience.

I was also told the coach would need 45 minutes to an hour to set up, so I paid for additional hall hire.

On the day, the coach arrived with two UV lights, two football goals and some rubber markers. There was no neon football, no glow bibs and the setup took about 10 minutes. After 15 mins the kids wanted the lights on because they couldn’t see the ball.

We had paid for 45 minutes of dodgeball and 45 minutes of football. The dodgeball never happened. I was told the company had forgotten to pack the equipment, while my husband was told it had been stolen from the coach’s van.

The coach seemed completely overwhelmed by a group of 15 ten-year-old boys. There was very little structure to the activities and it was mostly the children making up their own games. Parents had to prompt drink breaks and a few children later reported feeling sick or unwell. When one child was injured, there didn’t appear to be a first aid kit available - which is shocking for a sports coach from a sports company?!

The football itself wasn’t really organised. At times it was just 15 children chasing one ball around the hall, which inevitably led to frustration and arguments.

The thing that is confusing me is that despite all of this, the children actually had a brilliant time. They made up their own games, played bulldog, organised their own mini football matches and generally had a great laugh together. My son came home happy and said he loved his party.

So I’m left feeling quite conflicted. On one hand, the kids had fun and my son enjoyed himself. On the other hand, I spent most of the party stressed, managing issues, questioning safety, and feeling like the service delivered was nothing like what was advertised.

I’ve complained to the company and reported my concerns to Citizens Advice.

AIBU to think this goes beyond simply a disappointing party and into genuinely poor and potentially unsafe delivery of a children’s event?

I am furious and I was really worried about the safety of the children so I intervened and did a few games myself, (Ex primary teacher)

I researched this company very well. They partner with goals to do events, they have great reviews with photos, an active instagram with weekly postings about events taking place.

AIBU to think this goes beyond simply a disappointing party and into genuinely poor and potentially unsafe delivery of a children’s event?

Again your reaction sounds over the top and you are being over sensitive about this, if they are that big a company other families will know them and possibly use them for holiday clubs. it also sounds like lots of parents stayed as you mentioned them prompting drinks breaks etc so they will have seen it didn't live up to the normal standard and surely you said to them at the time 'well this is disappointing and not what we paid for'.

As I said in my previous post, being a big company they probably have multiple staff working for them. It sounds like whoever was meant to run your party wasn't available and they found someone to cover last minute, hence the lack of equipment and preparation.

I think it's fine to complain and I would expect a refund as they didn't deliver what was promised but I think you are making a bigger deal about some of it than is needed and need to now draw a line under it.
These are 10 year old boys, not babies, they had a good time and hopefully you will get your money back.

OP you’ve done the right thing by complaining, and hopefully you’ll get your money back.

But you really shouldn’t be worrying about judgement from the other parents. Why not just tell them the truth? If it was me I’d be chatting to them in the playground this week saying “bloody hell it was outrageous, I’ve put in a complaint, hoping for a refund. I’m glad the lads enjoyed it though”.

It’s not as if it’s your fault. And actually, if it wasn’t for you, it would have been crap. It sounds like you saved the day by taking on the organising role.

I would push the part about things not being provided that you paid for. I wouldn’t expect a football coach to come with first aid training or supplies (unless this was specifically promised?) and I wouldn’t think it’s anyone’s responsibility to tell a 10 year old to have some water if they’re thirsty.

Please don’t worry about the other parents judging you - they’ll just know what their kids tell them and sounds like the kids had a great time!

But not providing half of what was paid for is a problem. Though I can’t see in the list if they were meant to run the party or just bring the things for it. What did they say would happen ahead of time?

Pp are right it isn't up.to them to look after kids and tell them to have a drink.

Thanks all.

I know my reaction is a bit OTT (i.e my own personal feelings) I suppose I just feel a bit overwhelmed as it was just yesterday.

The boys did have a wonderful time, I have the videos and pictures to prove it, but by the end Th he very hyper and unsettled and I had to tell the coach to stop earlier than planned and took over myself . It ended with an adults vs kids match which was fun! The company weren’t supposed to just provide the equipment they were supposed to run the party.

I think I will message the parents individually thanking them for the generous gifts and apologising for the company. That’s a good shout.

I feel like I’fe let myself down and I’m worried
about being judged by the parents.

That bit is unreasonable. You're spiraling. The rest of your concerns are very reasonable.

Exactly this!!

Of course the boys had a good time, there was a football, food and mates.

But that’s irrelevant because you paid for things that the company promised but didn’t provide.

You should get a 50% refund at least as half of the things promised weren’t delivered.

It may not necessarily be the coach’s fault though.
I did a similar job where I worked for a reputable company and was just thrown in at the deep end after being given no training. Regularly they’d tell me last minute that X and Y are unavailable and then I’d have to tell this to the parents who blamed me. I also had no behaviour management skills of young people at the time.

Did they at least have an accident book? Not to have one is illegal

The party sounds crap, there is no doubt about that although the boys did have a good time but you didn’t get the equipment you paid for which is what I would be complaining about along with a note regarding the disorganisation of the person running the party. Unfortunately a lot of the football party organisers round us field older teens who don’t really know what to do with a bunch of kids.

the safety aspects I think you are unreasonable - it’s on you in a hall to provide water and at nearly 10 the kids are more than capable of helping themselves to a drink when thirsty. If for whatever reason they are a group that would not help themselves (I can’t think of why if there is an obvious jug or water bottles within sight but ND whatever maybe?) then it’s on you to check, I have 3 children and have therefore paid for many parties over the years including a very well run by soccer schools for a football party and the drinks and any first aid required is on me if we are providing the venue and the party entertained is coming to something we have sorted. We also run kids parties as one of our businesses but that is on our site and therefore we take responsibility for the first aid. I think you’ll find both water and first aid is on you on this one.

DBS by all means ask but don’t base it on what he looked like/was wearing. Having a DBS does not qualify you to be a good party entertainer (nor does it provide training on reminded 10 year olds to drink or provide first aid).

You’ll also probably find that the other parents didn’t pick up on the things that you did.

As the host you put extra pressure on yourself, whereas they just saw the boys having fun.

Ah, @Booyou123, hosting your child’s birthday parties can be stressful at the best of times. The kids all had fun so that’s a positive. I too would have complained and requested a refund. I might not have spread my complaint as widely as you have but I do like your style! The other parents won’t be judging you, please don’t worry about that. As someone has suggested, you could drop them a brief message to say you’re glad the kids had fun despite it not being quite the party you’d paid for. Hope you managed to get some sleep.

What? Why?

They had no accident book, the coach didn’t even realised the boy had hurt his hand from a ball being thrown at him. I picked it when I saw him bawling his eyes out in the corner of the hall.

To the people saying 10 year olds are responsible for taking a drink (a lot did) and for the first aid kid not to be provided unless specifically told. I go my parties I’ve been to at Powerleague and goals where they do have first aid trained coaches and kits, and kids are regularly given time to
go have a drink. There was
no organisation in this coaches 90 minutes, so the kids were constantly running. That’s too dangerous
in my eyes.

Sounds absolutely crap OP and I 100% think you deserve a refund.

Poor service yes. Safety issues though? That’s OTT. A few kids having fun in a darkened church hall with plenty of adults around is ok isn’t it? They weren’t roaming the streets alone or boating on a lake by themselves.

It’s great that the kids had a good time, but you didn’t get what you paid for.

I would send them their e mails setting out glowing football and glow bibs and dodge ball and ask for a refund. Tell the company that without the glow ball the kids needed the lights on therefore no glow football event.

It’s their responsibility whether the fudge ball equipment was forgotten or stolen.

Ask for a refund.

I did have two big water and squash dispensers on either side of the hall with lots of plastic cups.

What I’m trying to say is that the 90 mins was so
disorganised with no structure, that there weren’t any natural breaks until myself and my
husband intervened.

I take on board the point about first aid kits. I
should have checked and for any future
events, I will carry one on myself.

The coach wasn’t a young teen, a man
in his late 40s arrived with a woman
who just sat on her phone the entire
time.

I think an email, 3 bad reviews and reporting them to citizen's advice before it’s even been 24 hours is a lot. You’ve not even given them chance to reply and refund before trying to tare them apart. The kids had a great time and you deserve a refund and an explanation. But loosing sleep over it and looking for more things you can do about it before they’ve even replied is a bit much, try and keep it in proportion, the kids had fun and they need to wake up and get into work before they can talk about a refund

Stop blaming yourself! It wasn't your fault, the children enjoyed it and nothing terrible has happened. A message to the parents is a good idea in case some comments have filtered through (and were some there, it's not clear from your posts?)

But definitely get a refund - or partial, at least. You didn't get what you paid for, it's quite straight forward.

Why all this apologising? The boys had a great time. Let it go but make sure to get a refund.

It’s actually so reassuring to read through everyone’s comments. It’s giving me different perspectives so I appreciate that.

Parents didn’t stay, it was a drop off. They came
at the end.

I did go in all guns blazing, I couldn’t think of a single thing that the company provided that they promised.

Excuse all the typos! I know I shouldn’t be but I’m feeling anxious and over tired.

Focus on the concrete parts in your complaint - they didn't deliver what was advertised, most importantly, the neon football and bibs, which meant that the whole experience of playing football in the dark had to be missed.

Make sure you specify what you want. I think a 50% refund would be reasonable - they did turn up and the children were able to play football, but half the experience - the dark bit - didn't happen.

I’d be furious if I were you - you absolutely did not get what you had paid for and what was advertised/communicated to you. Absolutely complain.

Your son had a great time because he was with loads of friends and they made their own fun, not because of the party company.

That does sound rubbish and I definitely would not be happy but you do sound really worried about what others might think of you because of the experience. You’ve done nothing wrong here. A lot of those birthday party things are underwhelming so expectations are not particularly high but in fairness yours goes beyond that.

I really wish I could close my mind to this awful feeling about what the other parents think of me.

I’ve been to their kids birthdays and yes its
not been perfect, but not like this. Of course it would have to be me.