AIBU to think I shouldn’t have had to run the party myself after paying £275?

[Booyou123]

My son turned 10 this weekend and we booked a UV glow football party for 15 boys. It was his first proper birthday party since he was 3, so it felt like quite a big milestone.

Before booking, I repeatedly called and emailed the company to confirm exactly what would be provided. I was told there would be a neon football, glow bibs, UV equipment and that the hall would be properly marked out. We were specifically told the children should wear dark clothing for the glow-in-the-dark experience.

I was also told the coach would need 45 minutes to an hour to set up, so I paid for additional hall hire.

On the day, the coach arrived with two UV lights, two football goals and some rubber markers. There was no neon football, no glow bibs and the setup took about 10 minutes. After 15 mins the kids wanted the lights on because they couldn’t see the ball.

We had paid for 45 minutes of dodgeball and 45 minutes of football. The dodgeball never happened. I was told the company had forgotten to pack the equipment, while my husband was told it had been stolen from the coach’s van.

The coach seemed completely overwhelmed by a group of 15 ten-year-old boys. There was very little structure to the activities and it was mostly the children making up their own games. Parents had to prompt drink breaks and a few children later reported feeling sick or unwell. When one child was injured, there didn’t appear to be a first aid kit available - which is shocking for a sports coach from a sports company?!

The football itself wasn’t really organised. At times it was just 15 children chasing one ball around the hall, which inevitably led to frustration and arguments.

The thing that is confusing me is that despite all of this, the children actually had a brilliant time. They made up their own games, played bulldog, organised their own mini football matches and generally had a great laugh together. My son came home happy and said he loved his party.

So I’m left feeling quite conflicted. On one hand, the kids had fun and my son enjoyed himself. On the other hand, I spent most of the party stressed, managing issues, questioning safety, and feeling like the service delivered was nothing like what was advertised.

I’ve complained to the company and reported my concerns to Citizens Advice.

AIBU to think this goes beyond simply a disappointing party and into genuinely poor and potentially unsafe delivery of a children’s event?

I am furious and I was really worried about the safety of the children so I intervened and did a few games myself, (Ex primary teacher)

I researched this company very well. They partner with goals to do events, they have great reviews with photos, an active instagram with weekly postings about events taking place.

AIBU to think this goes beyond simply a disappointing party and into genuinely poor and potentially unsafe delivery of a children’s event?

I do like posts about stick to the facts which is very true. The ball was not neon, which as a minimum would have provided somewhat a glow
in the dark experience.

They couldn’t see the ball so of course they wanted the lights on.

Why would they think a lot about you?
The boys had a great time. Just another birthday party. Let go.

But you said parents were prompting drinks breaks, so some parents must have stayed and would be able to also agree it wasn't as expected? Make sure you get your facts straight when complaining (as here you have said parents didn't stay yet previously said they prompted drinks) so not sure which is the truth.

You need to stop the thinking of it being 'awful' and that everyone is judging you. I doubt anyone has even thought about it. Especially if they weren't there (which isn't clear) and the boys went home saying they had fun.

We had a similar uv football party for 9yr olds . It was well equipped, structured (actually cleverly run so that all the kids ‘won’ at something) and the coaches brought extra from what was advertised- uv makeup for the kids and glow bands . There were two coaches and one help me set up the food and then did certificates and party bags at the end . Please ask for a refund - this was poor

Definitely reasonable, I'd be furious and raise a full complain like you are doing.
Poor service not up to what was agreed. It's a breach of contract. Ask for a full refund with no regrets. Why half refund? They have been unprofessional.

As for the guests' families, did they pay to join the party? If not they shouldn't have grounds to complain to you. Should they do, then gently explain you are complaining to the cab and trading standards for the poor service received.

Fortunately no incidents and lots of fun so I'd suggest you try to be positive as not to encourage your guests to raise any concern/complain.

@Ringshanks I wish that had happened for my son’s 10th. We aren’t insanely rich, and I saved up months and months for a great party for my son.

Glad you had a good experience.

Both things can be true! We had a very similar experience where the local leisure centre charged for the party with coach but something went wrong with staffing so it ended up being an overwhelmed looking teenager who just stood at the side - no games, no teams or supervision.

My husband and a friend had to step in and organise a match and some drills. I did some no equipment games like ‘corners’ once we were inside. It was very stressful! BUT the kids had the best time and I don’t think they even noticed that it wasn’t a ‘proper’ party.

Im sure yours is the same, they just value running around together. You definitely haven’t received what you paid for though so I think you are right to hold the company accountable.

Full refund as you didn’t get what you paid for. Message parents too explaining situation. I agree with PP’s safety issues are a bit OTT. Nice the boys had a nice time but it was definitely not what you paid for.

The children had a good time because you knocked yourself out to compensate for the company's failures, so you don't need to feel conflicted about that. It's also pointless worrying about what other parents think, they probably realised that the kid the company sent along was useless and that that was not your fault. I think you're absolutely right to complain, this company is taking people's money and failing to provide anything approaching a satisfactory service.

I wouldn't worry about the parents, but I would definitely push for a refund!

This is a company which organises and charges for these events. Breach of contract.

OP as a fellow ADHD’er I wanted to say I can empathise with how you’re feeling despite the posters who are saying it’s OTT. It is OTT but you and I both recognise that is because of the RSD side of ADHD which is horrible and this is a really good example of why.

Of course you’re being entirely reasonable about being furious with the company and making the complaints that you have. I hope you get some of your money back.

Re the other parents, I would send a brief message letting them know that you are making a complaint because the company did not provide what was expected. Nothing more than that.

And then focus on the fact that your DS and his friends had a fab time and will remember it as nothing but a brilliant party.

You are catastrophising (I do it myself, also ADHD). The parents won't complain - when did you last complain to another parent that your DS didn't enjoy himself at theirs?

The kids had a good time. You didn't get what you paid for. That is not your fault and that is what you concentrate on. The service was lacking. The children presumably didn't know what to expect as such, so they just enjoyed what they were given, which is fine.

Complain to the company though, because they did a half-assed job and without proper equipment or training by the sounds of it. If any parent approaches you, you can tell them that you didn't get what you paid for and you are angry about it, but it's very unlikely that anyone will even comment.

The most important thing of that your son had a great time, as did his friends.
Separate that from the fact you want your money back.

You could have paid for half the total pitch time hire and done it yourself for the same result. So yes stick to the facts. And persevere. But don’t beat yourself up. They had a great party.

Firstly can I say that none of the parents will blame you or hold you in any way responsible for a shit party by an outside entertainment company. Every parent knows you pay for them to pretty much run the party for you. I have been a parent at a party where the entertainer was dire (the girl playing Elsa was severely hungover) and every parent there judged the company (no-one at that party has booked with them since) and not the parents, many of us offered to back up the parents complaints and rallied round to help the mum save the party.

Secondly, as a "sports party" company I would expect them to bring a first aid kit and be first aid trained, even if the first aid kit doesn't leave their car I would expect them to have one. Purely because they run sports party's for children where injuries can happen. I used to work in heritage outreach education where we would go into schools, education establishments, care homes, do talks in libraries ect, we always brought our own first aid kit and we were all first aid trained.

I think you are right to complain. What you paid for was not delivered, if you paid by card you could do a chargeback. It sounds as if they have dragged someone in last minute to run this party who is inexperienced and not used to doing them. I wonder if they have double booked if equipment is missing.

You’re not being over-sensitive. Your dc is only 10 once and this was not a cheap party. It’s horrible when you have tried to organise something lovely and it turns into a huge let-down.

In my area there’s a guy who runs football and dodgeball parties and he he does nerf battle parties too. He’s a force of nature and the parties are really well organised as well as fun so it IS the norm for these parties to be good

To the ADHDers on the thread. Thank you for the solidarity!

RSD is real, horrible thing and it can make
your mind tired for hours and hours
on end overthinking. Even though we recognise it, doesn’t make it go away.

I think I will balance a thank you message with a sorry it wasn’t the gloe in the dark experience, coaches came with the wrong equipment but the boys had a great time. I think that’s fair and honest.

When you get your money back can you spend it on an additional birthday treat or outing for you and your DS to alleviate some of your disappointment? And for now try and lean into the relief that it was OK anyway, rather than the let down that it wasn’t as imagined (and paid for).

I suggest you ask for/demand a full refund and report to whoever might be interested eg Trading Standards, Sport England, Football authorities, Sports Coach organisations etc. You could ask for evidence of the Sports Coach qualifications, and copies of the company insurances such as employee and public liability insurance (there may be others they should have).
Although to be honest given the state of things in this country I don't rate your chances of it being properly investigated.

That sounds like a bloody shambles and i’m not surprised that you were stressed and frazzled by the end of it.
Complain like it’s no tomorrow. You need refunds for the things they didn’t deliver.

Yes I agree! I was just responding to the OP feeling conflicted about complaining because the kids had a good time. A complaint can be substantiated for not providing what was paid for but she can also feel reassured that the birthday party wasn’t a disappointment to the children.

Don't message the other parents with apologies.

You are inviting complaints that you don't have and adding more chaos to the situation.

Just ask for your refund and forget about it. The kids enjoyed it.

I wouldn't explain or apologise to the parents unless anyone actually approaches you about it.
The company's provision was terrible though; clearly not what was promised, someone lied about why some of the equipment was absent, yes they should have had a first aid kit, yes they should have run the party.
I would expect a full and proper apology and a good chunk of the money back.

I really wouldn't apologise to the parents. This is one of those things that's a big deal to you but not to anyone else (meant kindly)

The guy who came sounds really bad. Often they think controlling kids is easily or just don’t care . Having no neon bibs and ball for a neon party is a pool party without a pool!

I think you’ve covered the complaint I just wanted to say that locally to us you can hire the council spots hall for about £150 they provide all manner of balls and bats. The kids go wild playing games in much the same as you describe. All the kids love it unstructured chaos.

This is a perfect situation of be more Dad. No bloke would give two shits if the kids had a great time and nobody got injured. Pissed off they didn’t get what the paid for but lacking any feelings of being judged by anyone.

you sound like you really care but happy 10 yrs old Is a win x