Help end medical misogyny. Sign our petition.

Help end medical misogyny.
Sign our petition.

Sign the petition

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why anyone would want to live in America?

285 replies

allergon842 · 07/06/2026 17:06

I follow a woman on Instagram who moved from England to the States and someone commented "America is only great if you're white, rich, and healthy".

Putting aside Trump/politics, I've always found it weird why anyone would want/would have wanted to live there. I understand if you're from a developing country, but I don't see the appeal for anyone who comes from Europe. The lower taxes and opportunities are enticing, but if you can't make it, you can fall very easy with the lack of a safety net. It seems to be only decent if you're a top earner ($100,000+).

OP posts:
SpudGunToo · 07/06/2026 19:51

MigGirl · 07/06/2026 19:47

I don't know how people can say its better health care. I'm on a fairly new medication which I initially had to pay for in the UK, this was costing me £300 a month. I've come across people in the USA paying the co-payment for the health insurance at a rate of more then $1,000 a month for the same drug. This is supposedly the co-payment not the full cost of the drug, the drug prices are way overinflated in the US.

I don't want to worry about my kids going to school and needing bullet proof back packs and I'd much prefer to face a possible stabing in the UK then allow everyone access to guns. Yes I appreciate that this isn't everywhere but when there is more than 200 school shootings a year in the US last year, its a big no from me.

Which parts of the US have you spent time in?

I get the impression many posters here have at best spent a few weeks on holiday and are basing their views on TikTok videos.

britinnyc · 07/06/2026 19:53

I have a much higher standard of living in CA than I could ever have in the UK. CA is extremely diverse and we have a lot more of a social safety net than most states, paid leave, low cost healthcare options, employment rights. People talk shit about California but they are mainly MAGA and don’t want to pay taxes for a social safety net. I also live in a walkable town where everyone is outside all year round. Our public (state) schools are excellent and have facilities and opportunities that are way superior to most private UK schools. I realize this is not true for a lot of the country so that is a huge difference. I have never seen a gun except on a cop. I just hope things stay this way and the weird British republican Steve Hilton doesn’t somehow win our governor race

OonaStubbs · 07/06/2026 19:53

I would to live in the US, I have relatives out there and I really envy their lifestyle and the sense of freedom.

HumphreyCushionintheHouse · 07/06/2026 19:55

My quality of life as a Brit in the US is much better than it was when I lived in the UK. However I was moving from central London, living in a small flat. I now live in a Mountain West region state after living in California for 15 years. I’d did my research re healthcare, schools, housing, cost of living, but I can tell you for me, moving to the US is the best thing I’ve ever done.

I’m in a blue city, in a blue county, in a blue state, so I’m very insulated from gun violence. I also try to keep in mind that “The statistical likelihood of a specific child being shot in a U.S. school is extremely low, described as a roughly 1 in 614 million chance of being killed by a gun in school on any given day.” I do understand the concern re school shootings. And when I let my kids go to other peoples homes I always ask about guns (and pools when they were little).

I work in IT, got a job with an H1B visa, the company interviewed in London looking for programmers who use the language I know.

I initially lived in an apartment, then bought a small house and got my green card after a 4 year application. Met my husband at work, he has a similar experience in coming to America, but not from the UK, and between us we built a life and family together. Im in a mixed marriage with children, and we haven’t had problems with racism.

Our house is big by UK standards, 3,500sqft 5/4 MCM house plus casita on 3/4 acre, my backyard is a little resort with pool/spa, sauna, outdoor shower. Come Friday afternoon, we’re either hosting friends or over at theirs, and the teen kids are with us as our house has plenty to entertain them. It means we’re very close to the kids, while they still have their own friendships. My family are mostly in the UK, but they visit regularly and we have space in the casita and our home for them.

Our local libraries and parks are top notch. Most libraries and parks have community centers, and my children have benefitted from sports programmes, language classes, music lessons, parent and me classes, and lots of choice and options at very affordable prices. Think gymnastics twice a week for one daughter, for $40 a month. Our elementary schools all have reasonable priced before and after school care, and our school district gives us free schools meals breakfast and lunch.

Where I live, it’s sunny 300 days of the year. This has made a tremendous difference to my depression and health, as I’m more likely to exercise and get out of the house for some fresh air. This is major for me, as back in the UK I was probably affected by SAD, and often struggled badly with depression.

I’ve also lived in So Cal, and overall, I find Americans very friendly and welcoming. Many of my friends are also transplants (though not from abroad like me, usually from other states like the mid west), and we’re all happy to have a close friendship group with support to lean on, as we’re all far from home and family. And being British is definitely a plus to making friends, luckily.

I don’t find the cost of living to be more than the Uk at all. I mostly shop at Costco, high quality and great prices. I use my garage freezer and prep and organize, and I think we eat really well. And our current home was a fixer upper, we paid well under $500k, and improved it bit by bit over the last few years. We both drive Teslas so no petrol bill, it’s pennies on the electric bill.

hahabahbag · 07/06/2026 19:56

A friend has just moved. He was sent originally as a contractor by his U.K. company but was offered 3 x his U.K. salary plus generous benefits and relocation package to move permanently to the us company. If you are offered $500k it’s hard to turn down

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 07/06/2026 19:57

The news they get about the UK makes them feel the same about us and yet I love living here.
I’ve been to Australia twice and wouldn’t want to live there but people fall over themselves to emigrate without ever even visiting.

Everyone is different

nam3c4ang3 · 07/06/2026 19:57

I know people who work in banking who are now living there - they make millions a year tho so they like the lifestyle 😂

ChefsKisser · 07/06/2026 19:59

If it wasn’t for guns I would live there! With two primary age kids I know I wouldn’t cope with the risk.
the countryside of beautiful, the cities are cool. The people are generally friendly and it’s a positive proud place to live unlike UK.
we are moving abroad and honestly would consider US if kids were older. The houses, the money, the space, the scenary. I completely get it!

tichbrew · 07/06/2026 20:03

My brother and his wife moved to NYC for work last year. Its very well paid at a large international company and yet he is finding it very expensive to live in the city and the reduction in holidays from what he's used to is awful and the corporate culture is more demanding i.e. expectation to stay late, not take full holidays and so on.

He is enjoying living in Manhattan and experiencing that lifestyle but at the moment they don't see it as a long term thing more something to distinguish their CV and an experience before they come back home to start a family in a few years. Perhaps that will change but after almost a year there they are more attuned to the downsides to life there than they were initially.

SpudGunToo · 07/06/2026 20:03

KerryWeaversSpecs · 07/06/2026 19:33

I love NYC. If I win the lottery I'd like to live there for a while.

Why did you leave?

Work. My job took me there and after a few years I was asked to move to London.

It maybe helped that I was there in my twenties, well-paid and without any responsibilities outside work but it genuinely was magical.

All of it. Macey’s, Central Park, TriBeCa and Soho, fifth avenue, the Staten Island Ferry, the Rockefeller Christmas tree, the delis, the taxis, the skyscrapers…

TiredShadows · 07/06/2026 20:05

I can see why some want to live there. There are nice areas no matter what type of climate or environment you prefer, and if you're an adult in a good profession that offers a lot, there are a lot of options.

Having lived in the US, I wouldn't again. It's little to do with the weaker safety net and nothing to do with the inequality of income or even guns. I'm just happier since I left and I wouldn't want my kids to experience what I did there. We all have our own preferences.

Sure, you see in the news the horrific cases of school shootings but we have an abundance of knife crime here in the UK… which sometimes I wonder might be preventable if guns were legal.

The US has a higher knife homicide rate per capita compared to the UK.

The UK has more laws against carrying bladed articles, so if only comparing 'knife crimes', the UK has more, but when comparing like for like, the US still has significantly more knife crime per capita.

Also, many types of guns are legal in the UK for those willing and to go through the checks.

People who have lived there be honest do people "go out at night on their own"

I used to walk for hours at night in the US. I do the same in the UK. I come across more people walking and biking in the UK than I did in the US, but it happens.

OrangeSushi · 07/06/2026 20:05

FrenchT0ast · 07/06/2026 17:27

But what about health bankruptcy and huge insurance bills? Always having that fear hanging over you. Not being able to walk anywhere, guns, long drives everywhere, tipping for everything, when you fall there is hardly any support….We have family who turned down green cards and lucrative jobs because of so many reasons. It is a stunning country though. Some of the most beautiful places I’ve been to have been in the USA.

I’ve visited/worked in very many parts of the USA.

Perhaps I’m naive (I’m a Londoner, I don’t think I am) however I can’t help but feel your travel experience is maybe somewhat limited or your opinion being informed by your relatives?

I’ve been in plenty of parts of the USA that are walkable. And plenty of parts of Europe/Asia which aren’t.

Sure I’ve felt a little uneasy at some points in some places (worst though actually are Paris, Morocco and Toronto for me) but nothing bad.

And actually last trip I made I had to stop at a couple of gas stations during a longer work drive and was a little apprehensive going in alone. Such polite, helpful, pleasant staff. Way better than over here. I feel silly now that I was a little edgy to start with.

FrenchT0ast · 07/06/2026 20:09

OrangeSushi · 07/06/2026 20:05

I’ve visited/worked in very many parts of the USA.

Perhaps I’m naive (I’m a Londoner, I don’t think I am) however I can’t help but feel your travel experience is maybe somewhat limited or your opinion being informed by your relatives?

I’ve been in plenty of parts of the USA that are walkable. And plenty of parts of Europe/Asia which aren’t.

Sure I’ve felt a little uneasy at some points in some places (worst though actually are Paris, Morocco and Toronto for me) but nothing bad.

And actually last trip I made I had to stop at a couple of gas stations during a longer work drive and was a little apprehensive going in alone. Such polite, helpful, pleasant staff. Way better than over here. I feel silly now that I was a little edgy to start with.

I have travelled a lot in the USA, have American family on my husband’s side and UK family who lived there but moved back. I think I know it pretty well. It’s stunning, I love it but would I live there? No.

Thepeopleversuswork · 07/06/2026 20:15

The short answer is its a far, far wealthier country. Far more work and money. There are plenty of other wonderful things about the US but I don’t think people are fully cognisant of what a poor country we are now compared to them.

We have a US parent company and they basically use our UK staff today the way British companies used Chinese and Indian companies 20 years ago. Its an arbitrage on very cheap labour because we are paid about a third of what the staff at the parent earn and they know our labour market is fucked so none of us can leave. The UK has basically become a sweatshop country for white collar industries.

There a lot to dislike about the US obviously but also some wonderful things. If I were 20 years younger I would be pushing to move there.

Naunet · 07/06/2026 20:15

The States has a lot going for it and many things better than they are here, but for me the downsides outweigh the good:
Health care costs
Poor food standards (I'm not sure many people realise this)
Guns/school shootings
Political landscape (by that i mean how polarised it is, but we're getting the same sadly)
Abortion rights
Lack of employment rights and holiday
Driving culture
Rubbish bread and cheese!

I'd also would really miss British humour.

localnotail · 07/06/2026 20:18

I have family in the US and was considering moving there at one point. I love visiting, but tbh I'm glad I didnt. I still love the country, its beautiful and massively diverse, but there are too many things I dislike - these main ones, in no particular order:

  • Guns, everyday shootings, shooter drills at schools seen as normal everyday stuff.
  • Education is very US centred and I have a suspicion is not very good (judging by the number of very poorly educated people there who know fuck all about the world).
  • No employment laws - you can get sacked on the day with no explanation or notice. Every benefit you get through work is up to your employer - so you might get it, or you might not.
  • Health insurance is fine if you have it but you still have to pay shit load on top of it as it often does not cover all of the meds and expenses. Sometimes you have to wait for appointments, and sometimes getting treatment involves a lot of too-ing and fro-ing with your insurance provider who can decide you dont need it.
  • Wealthy white people are weirdly class obsessed, even though there is no real classes there historically. Its hard to explain but there I think this divide is much more severe than even in the UK. In addition to this the US is still hugely, massively, disgustingly racist.
  • On the subject of people, I find Americans on the whole friendly and cheerful but also very childlike and naive, sometimes infuriatingly so, and very badly mannered. Mostly its funny but sometimes is quite grating.
  • Trump supporters, cultists, all the weird political, religious and conspiracy theorists stuff that goes on in the US.
SpudGunToo · 07/06/2026 20:20

Naunet · 07/06/2026 20:15

The States has a lot going for it and many things better than they are here, but for me the downsides outweigh the good:
Health care costs
Poor food standards (I'm not sure many people realise this)
Guns/school shootings
Political landscape (by that i mean how polarised it is, but we're getting the same sadly)
Abortion rights
Lack of employment rights and holiday
Driving culture
Rubbish bread and cheese!

I'd also would really miss British humour.

Edited

I’d pay far less for healthcare costs in the US than I do in the UK.

3678194b · 07/06/2026 20:22

I've only every visited as a tourist, been to 10 states and have always loved visiting but wouldn't live there.

A nursing friend, about 10 years ago, moved there as a nurse. Whilst out there had 3 babies and even though was fully insured with the hospital she works at, and gave birth at said hospital, still cost them In the 000's. Was also disappointed at the amount of material and annual leave. They moved back to the UK about 5 years ago now mainly for schooling and try to get on the housing ladder.

Another couple I know, not as well, moved to Florida running their own Franchise. Lasted a few years and they're now also back in the UK.

When I've been, California especially, not sure I could afford the likes of there. Dining out was not cheap, 25% tips expected on top of that and generally everything felt a lot more expensive, compared up where I live, north of the Midlands. So I probably couldn't afford it.

Naunet · 07/06/2026 20:22

SpudGunToo · 07/06/2026 20:20

I’d pay far less for healthcare costs in the US than I do in the UK.

How is that possible?!

Thepeopleversuswork · 07/06/2026 20:28

Naunet · 07/06/2026 20:22

How is that possible?!

If you have good insurance its possible to have excellent, cheap healthcare in the US.

Naunet · 07/06/2026 20:30

Thepeopleversuswork · 07/06/2026 20:28

If you have good insurance its possible to have excellent, cheap healthcare in the US.

Cheaper than the NHS?! Sorry but no, I think that's highly unlikely.

PancakeCloud · 07/06/2026 20:31

Thepeopleversuswork · 07/06/2026 20:15

The short answer is its a far, far wealthier country. Far more work and money. There are plenty of other wonderful things about the US but I don’t think people are fully cognisant of what a poor country we are now compared to them.

We have a US parent company and they basically use our UK staff today the way British companies used Chinese and Indian companies 20 years ago. Its an arbitrage on very cheap labour because we are paid about a third of what the staff at the parent earn and they know our labour market is fucked so none of us can leave. The UK has basically become a sweatshop country for white collar industries.

There a lot to dislike about the US obviously but also some wonderful things. If I were 20 years younger I would be pushing to move there.

Yes I don’t think Brits realise how badly off we are compared to Americans these days in some ways.

I find all these threads weird, why don’t people understand that some people have different preferences to them.

user1476613140 · 07/06/2026 20:37

Naunet · 07/06/2026 20:22

How is that possible?!

I'm all ears too.

KerryWeaversSpecs · 07/06/2026 20:39

SpudGunToo · 07/06/2026 20:03

Work. My job took me there and after a few years I was asked to move to London.

It maybe helped that I was there in my twenties, well-paid and without any responsibilities outside work but it genuinely was magical.

All of it. Macey’s, Central Park, TriBeCa and Soho, fifth avenue, the Staten Island Ferry, the Rockefeller Christmas tree, the delis, the taxis, the skyscrapers…

Very jealous! What great memories to have.

Waitingfordoggo · 07/06/2026 20:39

Eggplant19 · 07/06/2026 17:44

I’ve never felt unsafe walking through USA. Granted I’ve never walked alone through places you wouldn’t want to be in any city.

Personally, I don’t see guns as an issue. Sure, you see in the news the horrific cases of school shootings but we have an abundance of knife crime here in the UK… which sometimes I wonder might be preventable if guns were legal. In fact, women (and men) might be able to protect themselves from rape and crime more if criminals knew that everyone had a gun. Sure, they’d also have a gun but I can’t stand the notion that guns in America are ‘scary’… sure there needs to be more vetting so that they don’t get in the wrong hands but it’s in the constitution.

You’re more likely to be a victim of knife crime in the US than you are in the UK. Look at the stats.