AIBU to think care homes need more age-appropriate entertainment?

[myislandhome]

My MIL is 91, born 1935. She has recently gone into a care home. So far, all of the entertainment in the home has been so dated - lots of WW2 focus, songs including roll out the barrel and white cliffs of dover etc. I do realise it's currently the D day celebration but it hasn't been just this weekend.
It's driving me mad, MIL was 10 when the war ended. She was in her 20's in the rock and roll era in the 50's. My own mother, who was in a nursing home until she died, was born in 1940 and had the same experience in her home; despite being in her prime in the late 50's/swinging 60's
AIBU to think that nursing homes need to up their game with their entertainment themes?

It scares me that I will end up somewhere like that, my kids will try their hardest but if it’s not available then I’ll be stuck in my mother in law’s era. I do think it’s laziness on behalf of the care homes, they like the formula and won’t shift. And charge a King’s ransom for it.

Yes it’s a problem but remember much of the entertainment is by volunteers, some of which have been doing it for years when that was the preferred music. I know a young lady musician who has a weekly “gig” at a local care home to me (paid) and they are all deeply into heavy metal apparently, she had us in stitches telling us about their musical requests and choice of clothes, several are full on goth!

Keep the Faith and I'll see you there✊

That's fine, but it's just the assumption that anyone born mid 1960s and before WANTS to listen to music from the 1940s and 1950s that's annoying. I don't dislike music from a decade or more before I was born, but I don't want to listen to it, I want to listen to music from the 1970s and after.

@exaltedwombat my DM loves music from the musicals

I like music from before I was born, so things like the Beatles and other 60s music

I can sing along to war time songs even though they are obviously before my time.

Obviously, it is good to have a mixture but I think some posters maybe slightly naive on how they may be if they end up in a care home and what they will want.

There is nothing to stop OP’s family from providing music etc for MIL

A popular singing group in this area who go to various country shows, fairs, events etc have a style like the Andrews Sisters but sing songs across the ages.

Ive had exactly the same thoughts. My mum was born on d-day. War songs are way too old. 1950’s / 60’s rock would be much more appropriate. Elvis... Cliff richard… Dolly Parton is always age appropriate. The beatles. Tammy wynette. The supremes.

My children are always quite shocked that my 85 year old Mother joins in when we play Cards against humanity. I laugh and tell them her hey day was the "Swinging 60s", nothing can shock Granny. Even though she quite likes to sit back and judge my life!

I worked in care most of my life. You're right, the music and themes need to move with the times!

Someone needs to take charge of this in any home. Many of these places are staffed by young Eastern European ladies who know literally nothing about the culture of British people who were young in the 1960’s and 1970’s.

We had exactly the same experience. My MIL sadly died in her nursing home 7 years ago. She was 69 and her favourite bands were Pink Floyd the Smiths and the Housemartins.

a home near me has a facebook page every week they do different things ,a craft day,a bring in your grandkids day ,this week they were having spa treatments, i know the lady manager ,the staff have worked there years,they do music quizs/it really is a great home,

Totally agree. It's so patronising just playing Vera Lynn etc. And having the TV on constantly. Must be torture for people. Does it make the staff feel better? Fill the silence? Shocking really...

If l ever go into a Care or Nursing home. I will have my mobile phone fully charged. Stay in my room and tune into YouTube and listen to music, listen to pod casts and watch films all day long.

My dear mother was in a Nursing Home for a number of years and bed bound . She was a lover of Shirley Bassey and the Great American Songbook, Artists and Songs. Which they never seemed to play at their music sessions

They also played loads of awful old stuff including Vera Lynn and War Time music. Which she called Old People's Music.

Let me know which Care Home you're in. That's the music I want to hear too!

Absolutely agree, although I did enjoy a V Day celebration at my friend’s care home last month. DM is in a home & she was only 5 when the 2nd world war ended.

YANBU it is basic "out of the box" entertainment for old people. It's quite ignorant really.

My mum is 72, and although she liked the boy band shite when I was a kid, she also liked the Shamen and New Order. If she had health problems she could easily be in one of these places and she would HATE war songs. She is very anti war.

Rave Meadows

Look at it from the other side.

Where else can a Scotch accordion band get a captive audience?

Love this!

My friend and I were talking about this as we are both in our 60s. I said that if ever I had to go into a care home I hope they played 70s and 80s disco/pop/rock & not Vera Lynn etc. I love to listen to the music of my clubbing years and to some of the current music. An afternoon of the Eagles/Queen/Bon Jovi etc would be fab

Sounds much better than most. I'd also want a "puppy day" where you'd get to cuddle and pet lots of puppies (especially GSD or Doberman) 🥰

My late wife ran a residential sheltered housing scheme and part of her job was organising events such as the Christmas party.

The first Christmas party the entertainment was a piano player and a sing along to "Roll out the barrel", We'll meet again", "Run rabbit run" and all the old wartime songs.

The last one she was there for, they had a Tina Turner "tribute" act and then a live band playing everything from the Beatles to Oasis.

My dad's care home had regular animal encounter days. They had pet therapy people bringing in dogs, rabbits and guinea pigs, lambs, piglets, parrots and Shetland ponies.

The hippies who paraded around Woodstock naked are now in their 80s.

Saturday Night Fever was fifty years ago.

The punks who pogoed to the Sex Pistols are in their 70s. Johnny Rotten's late wife had dementia. Imagine assuming her type of music (or that of anyone her age) was Roll Out the Barrel. 🙄

My father was born in the 1920’s and lived into his 90s. He couldn’t stand Vera Lynn or “Roll out the barrel” type songs. By the sound of it he was lucky never to need a care home.

The prospect probably prompted his DNR.

I could make a punk song out of Roll Out the Barrel.

”Let’s have a barrel of no fun!”