To not cancel the holiday

[OuEstLaPlage]

we have a cilla holiday booked with some friends - it’s been booked and paid for for ages. We’ve done it before and it’s been great - adults and kids all get on etc etc. we don’t live too close to them in the UK, and things have been rocky for a while - but they’re separating and want to cancel the holiday.
Our flights were booked separately, ours are non refundable. Villa is now 50% refundable, which they say they’re OK with so they can at least recoup some of the cost. Im the lead person on the booking so essentially can either cancel or not…
am I unreasonable to tell them no? Honestly, we can’t afford to only get 50% of what we paid back, and then pay extra to try and find something else at last minute.
its a long standing friendship… and while
i I don’t want to ruin it, I honestly don’t see why we should pay because they are cancelling.

Suggest that each of them goes for half the duration and the kids for all. Or that they send the kids and their grandparents along.
You should not have to cancel or to pay double.

Options, all of which are acceptable:
You find another family to join you.
You ask you own parents along.
They pay and some of them attend.
They pay but do not attend.
You pay double for the accommodation and eat out less.

Some good suggestions Op. Be careful about who she may send instead if you go down that route as you will be sharing the villa with them. Keep us updated

Either one of them comes with their DC (after all I'm sure they don't want DC to miss out on a planned holiday I'm sure they know about), or if the villa really has to be cancelled, then you and DH get the 50% refund.

How soon is it before you travel? Not what you planned, but it's worth searching around for something within a reasonably distance of airport on any villa websites, but also places like booking.com for a suitable apartment/house.

So if you cancelled, each family would get back 25% of the villa cost? I’d make them an offer of less than 25% to be able to still go. Cancelling wouldn’t cover an alternative so I’d want to in effect buy them out somehow, but would go in at less than the 25% because it’s not your fault.

Good friends or not, I would be a firm no on this. You can call the company to see about a switch, but in my experience (past job) now that it's summer season officially (assuming you are in Europe) the chances of a switch and the refund is highly unlikely.

This is simply nobody else's problem except your friends. People split up all the time, it's tough, she might not be thinking straight, but she is certainly thinking very selfishly in expecting you to take the hit too - and effectively lose a lot of money AND flights paid.

As harsh as its sounds, this isn't your problem to make right. You booked in good faith and what she is asking is incredibly selfish and personally, I would walk away from the friendship before losing my family's holiday.

As others have said you shouldn't lose out if they cancel its not fair, say your not prepared to lose 50% of you holiday budget, you've already paid for flights, its too late. They have the option to still come as a single parent.

As for posters mentioning holiday insurance, I’m pretty sure this won’t cover for a relationship breakdown.

This is unbelievable. I get she doesn’t want to go, but expects you to lose a tonne of money because they can’t go? Seriously? If she doesn’t want to go fine, but IMO they lose the villa money. Why should you lose 50% of the cost too? If you cancel it and only get 50% back then that’s your money refunded so you’re not out of pocket, but you still need somewhere to stay, so it defeats the object.

The proper and correct thing is for her to decide whether she comes along or doesn’t, but either way, she doesn’t get to make the decision that you lose half your money. She’s already on the highway to losing your friendship.

Have they already transferred their share of the villa OP? I hope they have and you still decide to go. No way should you be out of pocket.

I'm still wondering. Can anyone explain?

Surprise surprise! Back with an update… So. I called them and as many PPs have predicted, relationship breakdown doesn’t count as an exceptional enough circumstance to transfer the villa to a smaller one and get the difference back. So We’re going on our own. I basically said that we weren’t willing to lose out, and so even if we cancelled we’d want 100% of what we put in for it, which (after a while) she understood. Thank you again for everyone’s advice- and the Cilla comments have made me laugh. X

Glad you got it sorted. Enjoy your holiday

I'm glad you have got it sorted.

I wonder (as it's already paid for) if she'll change her mind & come with the kids? She mught feel like the break would be good for her & the kids by then?!

but either way, you can get back to looking forward to your holiday now.

What do you mean? You don’t get the reference? Have you not tried googling Cilla surprise surprise?

The “after a while” thing is annoying! They are going through a difficult time but why would anyone in their right mind think you should miss out?! Bonkers

So has your friendship survived OP? Presumably your friend and her ex will now not get any of their money back, which tbh is caveat emptor and there is absolutely no reason why you should lose any money, but is she okay with it?

This is the right outcome but please don’t underestimate how stressed and worried she may be right now about the separation - it’s a horrible time in anyone’s life, even if the marriage has been on the rocks for a while.

In a week or so, when the dust has settled, maybe contact her again and reiterate that you’d still love her to come and bring the kids if she’s up for it. They could likely all do with a holiday by then!

If she really doesn’t want to, offer to ask around to see if another of your friends may be interested in coming instead. Reassure her that you’ll let her know if you find anyone.

It isn’t critical if you find someone or not - just knowing that you’re trying to help out will be appreciated I’m sure!

i know it's not your fault or your problem, but these are so called good friends who are going through tough time. If they are divorcing they probably have financial issues that mean they just can't afford the holiday anymore. For you this about a holiday, for them their lives are falling apart. Don't make their life even harder for them, you will jeopardise your friendship and I wouldn't blame your friends for finding you unsupportive if you insist they just lose out. Think carefully before you act.

is there any way you could offer them some money for their part? Explain yourself nicely ie that you do stand to lose a lot of you cancel etc. You know this is the right thing to do.

I know there was a Cilla Black show, and that it was really extremely shit?

No, it was a lorra lorra laughs 🤣

Are you actually serious? You think the OP should offer them money? What the actual fuck?

OF COURSE it’s sad that they’ve split up…but how is the money side of this the OPs problem?? It just isn’t!! And the OP shouldn’t be subsidising their break up!!

Jesus 🤯😖😵‍💫

What the heck 😂 their relationship breakdown means OP should be out of pocket and/or pay them money. Insane.

Bonkers.

Substitute V for C!

... Oops ... thanks. Legend within my own lifetime ...