To not cancel the holiday

[OuEstLaPlage]

we have a cilla holiday booked with some friends - it’s been booked and paid for for ages. We’ve done it before and it’s been great - adults and kids all get on etc etc. we don’t live too close to them in the UK, and things have been rocky for a while - but they’re separating and want to cancel the holiday.
Our flights were booked separately, ours are non refundable. Villa is now 50% refundable, which they say they’re OK with so they can at least recoup some of the cost. Im the lead person on the booking so essentially can either cancel or not…
am I unreasonable to tell them no? Honestly, we can’t afford to only get 50% of what we paid back, and then pay extra to try and find something else at last minute.
its a long standing friendship… and while
i I don’t want to ruin it, I honestly don’t see why we should pay because they are cancelling.

Their choice, their loss. Tell them you are not cancelling- you are not letting your DC down and you are not losing money due to their decision. They're CF to even suggest it.

Tell them no, they’re being unfair

One of them needs to still go with their kids. If not their choice but no you do not cancel and lose your villa. That’s completely unfair.

Tell them exactly what you have said here. Surely 1 of them could come with their DCs.

I would pay double for this holiday 🤣

I think you could try to do as someone else suggested and see if the holiday company can swap you to a smaller cheaper villa or hotel. If not then the other couple take the hit as it’s not fair to you and not your fault.

If you can get a 50% refund on the whole thing, they cancel and you get the whole refund which mean you lose nothing and they lose everything. Means that you can book something else, means that they probably can't, but that's ok because not coming is their choice. Or one of them comes with the kids. Or you find other people to go with you and they buy out the previous friends. There is no way you should lose a penny for this. If one of them was seriously ill or something then yes, you taking the hit too would be what a friend would do, but not in these circumstances!

I definitely would not be losing money and my holiday for someone else cancelling.

Id just explain honestly that you’d lose far too much money but like others have said one can come with the children or you can see if anyone else you know would take their place.

Also harshly you’re about to lose at least one member of this couple as your friends anyway as not many separated people end up still sharing a friendship group.

Thanks everyone for the wisdom and suggestions. I didn’t think of asking them to change to a smaller place but there are some lovely places still available (a bit over our 50% stake but I don’t mind a bit extra) so I’ll call them on Monday to see.
I did suggest that she came with the kids but she didn’t want to do that, I don’t think she’s thinking through and clearly this is tiny compared to what they are going through everything else

Maybe he would come with the kids if she doesn’t want to?

It's bloody cheeky of them to cancel on you, expect you to miss out on a holiday, or pay again for new accommodation AND claim half the returned fee (25% of the villa cost) for themselves.

I would say sorry we can't cancel as we still need the holiday. Can't lose the villa and find new accommodation at such short notice and on just 25% they are proposing you get. If they have any ideas of how else to work it that won't be more cost or huge hassle for you, you are willing to listen.

They've created the problem, they ought to help solve it if they want any money back for themselves. I'm sorry for them but that isn't an excuse to share the misery with you.

Glad you are lead Booker as you hold the best cards.

I definitely agree that seeing if you can swap to a smaller villa and how that works for the refund looks. But don't give them false hope until you know.

If they cancel then you should get the full refund. It's not fair that you will lose out.

Agree they should forfeit their refund, which in effect gives you the villa at your original planned cost as no point cancelling. If they, even one parent and kids of the family they still get a holiday or you can find others to take their place and refund their share.

As others have said you don’t want to cancel. They do. So you need to make clear that if you do cancel at their request that you get the full refund so you’re not out of pocket. If that isn’t agreed, I just wouldn’t cancel tbh. They’re being cheeky

It’s a sunk cost for them and presumably negligible in the grand scale of their divorce. And I’d be telling them this directly.

Omg are they suggesting you lose your deposit?! And they wouldn’t recoup. That’s mental and nope they owe you that or they pay the full amount and don’t come

To be honest I wouldn’t push the “ come with the kids” idea. All she will want to do is talk about the split and it will be a real downer for a holiday.

I agree that your best bet is trying to downgrade the size of villa.

But yanbu to say no to cancelling. Its their decision to not go but it isnt your place to pay for that decision. They have options, such as one going with the kids, that they are not choosing them is again, not your decision to pay for.

Me too. I find it quite odd that so many people don't even do a cursory proofread of their OPs.

Agreed!

Pity they can't grow up and behave for the holiday for the benefit of the kids and you.

But if not, they lose the money. Not you.

I don't think you're being unreasonable. I'd suggest either - you discuss whether someone can "buy" their share at half price (so they get the same back as they would for cancelling and some other friends or family get a cheaper rate), or one of them comes with their kids.

I suspect they're really focused on all their own issues with splitting up, children, finances and housing and probably just made a snap decision without thinking about your flights, finances etc. I would just calmly message back and say you don't think you can afford to lose half the villa money, what with still wanting and being able to go, and ask them to consider other options. It'd make it easier on them if you had a stand in who would be happy to take on their half for some of the money. I'd be gentle on them though, they'll be really fragile and probably a bit irrational with everything going on....

Why can't one of them still come with their kids?

Sadly they have the issue not you, so they need to fund it ergo any money back would be to you anyway not them.

I would not cancel it but ask them to sort out who is still coming.

If they want to cancel they should ensure that they compensate you for any loss. Easiest thing would be for 1 of them to go with kids or not go at all but not cancel. If the relationship is ruined it wasn't ruined by you.

@tenpints Then the rep could throw open the door and sing "Step Inside Love" (I'm showing my age too)