To not cancel the holiday

[OuEstLaPlage]

we have a cilla holiday booked with some friends - it’s been booked and paid for for ages. We’ve done it before and it’s been great - adults and kids all get on etc etc. we don’t live too close to them in the UK, and things have been rocky for a while - but they’re separating and want to cancel the holiday.
Our flights were booked separately, ours are non refundable. Villa is now 50% refundable, which they say they’re OK with so they can at least recoup some of the cost. Im the lead person on the booking so essentially can either cancel or not…
am I unreasonable to tell them no? Honestly, we can’t afford to only get 50% of what we paid back, and then pay extra to try and find something else at last minute.
its a long standing friendship… and while
i I don’t want to ruin it, I honestly don’t see why we should pay because they are cancelling.

I googled 'cilla holiday', wondered what I'd been missing :-).

It's OK, I've got it now and c is next to v on the keyboard.

I had to cancel a holiday with a friend at short notice as my mum was ill. I paid her the cost of the holiday (it was a long weekend so not ridiculous but still £400 ish)

Then say “What’s your name and where do you come from Chuck?”

And a blind-d-date included for a rebound fling to cheer up the separated person?

I wouldn't cancel why should you be out of pocket because of their relationship problems

No to what they suggest.
Their options seem to be:

1. Cancel the villa, you collectively get 50% back but that's yours not theirs so they get nothing back - they surely can't expect you to be out of pocket for them cancelling
2. Keep the villa, they lose their money on it but that's the same monetarily for them as (1)
3. You sweet-talk the company you're renting from into letting you switch without YOU ending up out of pocket - if they get something back that's great but it shouldn't cost you money
4. One of them comes along - seems not to be an option
5. You find an acceptable substitute who would buy their share of the villa of them to give them some or all of their money back. That has to be somebody you don't mind sharing the holiday with though. Be friendly but firm - they can't expect you to take a monetary hit because they are separating.

Could they claim from insurance. Tell them you are still going so they won't be able to claim from the villa company.

And then announce that Anyone Who Had A Heart would not see them out of pocket for their holiday.

Good Grief... & in pops a sensible suggestion!

Let us know what they say when you've called them 🤞🏼🤞🏼

it's a shame she doesn't want to come with the kids, but maybe they can't afford to, they might need the money to make living separately possible?

I'm hearing Our Graham summing all this up (though really there should only be three options).

"The decision is yours!"

Has your friend indicated that she expects you both to lose money if you cancel the villa? Does she realise that it's not fully refundable? What about their flights, has she booked them already? Is this out of character for her to be so thoughtless? Is she generally tight with money? Would you have chosen this holiday if you were booking for your family only, or might you have chosen a different location?

"Hi friend I am sorry about your situation and I understand if you can't face travelling just now. Unfortunately since the villa isn't fully refundable I think the only way for you to get a refund would be if your travel insurance covers you. I'll try to contact the villa company to see if there's anything they can do. If they can move us to a smaller place then I'll let you know if that might recoup some of your outlay."

It might be helpful to know the rough numbers. Let's say both families paid £2k. If you cancel you'll be refunded £2k and your friend wants you to split it so you each lose £1k and you have to find new accommodation or also lose your holiday.

Would you be willing to pay her something (up to the 25% of the villa cost, so a few hundred pounds) if you'd prefer to have the villa to yourselves anyway?

Joining thread to see if OP can get a good outcome from this and also for any more Cilla puns (here's Our Graham with a quick reminder...)

I’ve been through a huge breakup while pregnant and wouldn’t dream of expecting anyone to bail me out or burden the costs of the breakup for me

Sense of humour bypass.

Hopefully you get to still go. Have a lorra lorra laughs...

This one is on them. You shouldn’t lose out because of their changing circumstances.

This really made me laugh. Even after reading it I was still wondering. Haha brilliant.

This. Insurance route. One of them still goes is the other.

if you split equally you’re share is 50% each. If they are cancelling - with financial penalty they can lose their 50%. Why do they think you should take a 25% hit? On what planet are they living where you’d financially lose out.

So they actually expect half of the money back, and for you to lose out, even though THEY are the ones cancelling? Cheeky sods. I would refuse on grounds that you won’t be able to afford another holiday if you lose 50% of what you’ve already spent and tell them to claim on their travel insurance. Honestly the absolute cheek of some people…

Doesn't sound like a lorra lorra laughs.

Tell them to fucking do one. Why should you lose out on your holiday and half the money?

Hope it gets sorted. I wouldn't cancel nor would I ask her to come on own with kids. It changes dynamics and .. you will hear lots about the split.

It will be hard moving forward with dynamics anyway so do what is right for your family

How much is the 25% refund?

I would be happy to pay more for the villa to myself, so depending on how much 25% is I might consider giving them the 25%

I wouldn't cancel though.

I absolutely would not be cancelling and I think they are unreasonable to ask you to do so. Like you say, why should you be out of pocket because they are separating? Likely the long distance friendship won’t last when they are no longer a couple anyway, so I wouldn’t worry about it