Throwing drink cartons out of bedroom window

[Livingingangstersparadise]

How strict would you be on this?

Dh just doing the front garden and came in with an empty drink carton saying ‘They’ve thrown this out of the window’
Dd, 7 and friend playing in her bedroom upstairs, I called up to ask her and she said her friend did it to be silly to our dog (he’s a lovely boy) I just said ok and not to throw rubbish again.
Dh angry about it, is it really that bad? It’s not ideal at the end of the day, but they’re only 7

It was a joke! Sorry obviously didn't land (pun intended) 😆 should have thrown an emoji in!

What a big old fuss over nothing. But I suspect the issue here is your husband and that he’s often over the top with discipline

Impeccable. Good work 👏🏻

Same here. Non issue!

Maybe

Probably picked it up out of curiosity then tossed it realising it was a load of ole rubbish.

I mean I only allow a water bottle in a bedroom no other drinks and certainly no food - just gross
always makes me wonder when people talk about teenagers and loads of pots in their bedrooms
my teen has never and would never do this I find it bizarre people live like this!

We still don't know the dogs role in this. Throwing something out of a window is silly, throwing something at a dog is horrendous and dangerous.

I'd have got her and the friend to come downstairs and pick up the litter that was thrown, and put it in the bin.

I'd also have told the pair of them off about whatever it was that they were trying to do to the dog.

When the friend goes home, I'd sit DD down and tell her if she cant be trusted to remind her friends of house rules and atick up for herself, she cant have friends over to play in unsupervised rooms.

I'm Team DH here.

Same. Water only in bedrooms. We ate downstairs in the kitchen or dining room. We never had missing plates or mugs, etc.

What battles do you pick, exactly?

If shaking a chair around at a café is not cause for a 'battle', what is?

Are you in some way trying to set up your H to be the bad cop here? A child of seven should know better than to behave badly when out and about. You need to step up and start expecting better behaviour from your seven year old. Or will you be saying 'she's only eight/ nine/ ten...' next year, and on into the future?

She was sat on a chair moving around, to me that isn’t doing anything bad or naughty for heavens sake

It's worse that she was trying to hurt the dog (depending on the type of container, he could get badly injured, especially if he tries to pick up a can etc). Trying to hurt or upset animals is worrying, even for those who don't care about animals, because a lot of those men/women who hurt people started by trying to wind up animals as kids.
Most parents wouldn't be happy with their kids throwing litter full stop, but some do encourage it, you sometimes see them getting their kids to throw fast food wrappers out the car windows, so maybe this girl's mum/dad does.

If you're the fun friend...

Has your husband proposed some additional course of action to deal with the thrown container? If he wants to have a further conversation about it with your daughter, I'd encourage that. If he wants to give way the dog, ban the friend and all liquids from the house, and lock your daughter in her room until she's 18 then that's unreasonable.

I'd think additional discussion may be useful to make sure she understands the issues. It sounds like they threw it onto your property and where there was no risk of hitting anyone, but why did they leave it there instead of immediately going down and getting it and throwing it away? Also, the location of the dog is important - if the dog was in the garden and it was thrown close enough to get his interest but not close enough to scare or hurt him that might be "silly", if they threw it AT the dog in the garden, or even worse threw it out of the window while the dog was in the room with them, that's going to require more of a conversation to make sure she understands why this was dangerous and cruel.

@Livingingangstersparadise

there are some nuts posts on your thread, & your DH overreacted. I'd have just told them both not to be so silly. 💁🏻‍♀️

@Imthefunfriend

I've just read your post saying it was a joke. You definitely needed a laughing face. Too many nuts posters these days who would not be joking.

Sorry but both of those are really poor behaviour. Throwing rubbish out of windows is completely unacceptable. Any child caught doing that in my home would be told off, made to retire the item and their window would be locked on the vent position going forwards.
I would also come down hard on behaviour at a cafe. Very few children seem to have any understanding of how to behave whilst eating out.

You say you pick your battles but you don’t seem to be picking any battles and your child’s behaviour shows it!

You said shaking the chair and now it's 'sat on the chair moving around'.

Which one was it?

If rocking on the chair, that's something you should have stopped. If swiveling around on the seat, ditto. If tipping back in the chair, same.

She risked knocking the chair over or falling off.

You can put your foot down to curb unruly behaviour, and you should. You're her parent, not her best pal.

As a one off I'd say don't do it again & let it go.

We have a strict rule about no food or drink in bedrooms or the formal lounge, which are all carpeted. My DC will definitely (accidentally) spill things or leave crumbs for vermin. I've noticed some of their friends are less careful, so I just remove the cause.

I’m definitely not a lazy parent, I just don’t feel the need to constantly get at her about small things.

But you are OP. You couldn't be bothered to go upstairs and tell both kids that littering is not ok and it's not acceptable to tease/annoy/scare the dog in any way whatsoever. If this boy is a visitor in your home then he should know what your house rules are and your daughter should know that rules set out by adults apply at all times, that parents aren't going to let things slide simply because friends are visiting.

I just pick my battles, think he forgets they’re kids.

Stop blaming your dh, when exactly do you think it's an acceptable age for a child to learn how to behave - at home and in public? "only 7" - how long are you going to use her age as an excuse for poor behaviour? Do you think she'll wake up some day and magically know how to behave? She'll never know unless you teach her by setting out clear rules and being consistent in enforcing them.

Your husband knows that kids need parents to teach them how to behave appropriately, you don't.

Have you read the thread 🤣

Just say "You know that is wrong. Please go and pick it up and put it in the bin." And leave it at that. It is a one-off piece of childish silliness, not a way of life!

Id have told them not to throw things out of the window and it's not safe to throw things at the dog and asked them to pop it in the bin and bring down the rest of the rubbish but that's enough I'd think, I don't see it as a huge issue just excited kids being a little bit silly.

We have, but you still haven't explained what exactly they were doing with regard to the dog. That is the key to how serious this is.

I can't think of a single empty drink carton in the world that's going to hurt a dog when thrown from a window.

I mean, they're made of cardboard 😳

But the most important thing here would've been to make the child go downstairs, pick the carton up and put it in the bin.

And then let that be the end of it after telling him not to do it again.