Worried about future generations lack of personal history

[Allonthesametrain]

Just had a big family get together and sharing experiences of growing up. GPs stories of WW2, growing up on rations, real history dialogue, which we as DC know, also our DC were enthralled.

Us as parents, growing up in the 1970s and 1980s in our youths, we tell them how we lived before major technology, they listen to our music and love some if it.

I do wonder, our DC will share their experiences of growing up and, not all I know, but had a gender reveal, had princess outfits every birthday, told how beautiful I was every day on SM by parents and everyone.

Just such a vast contrast when as kids we were expected to be not seen and heard to being the centre of attention.

So going forward, being the centre of attention within the sphere of adoring parents and all attached, is this realistic for expecting everyone else in the real world our DC has to go in to?

Of course not. Our DC and are indeed the centre of our world but posting on SM every birthday, how amazing he/she looks, does set a predecent to expectations.

Our DC know first hand about the struggles of the past, but go forward a few generations, no matter what has been passed on, it's irrelevant.

Am I being a bit concerned that several generations from now, not for all but many people, will only know the newest false eyelashes, plastic surgery, pumped up lips, following a sheep fashion of long straightened hair or whatever is in vogue for model perfection.

I know this is beyond my time on earth but it's natural to worry about what the future holds for our future world 🌎

As the kids say, 'Okay Boomer'. Why the obsession with WW2? Millions upon millions of people died, were displaced and there are still people dying in conflicts that have arisen from decisions made then. Does that level of human misery float your boat in someway?

You're making vast generalisations about younger generations you clearly don't understand nor have bothered to connect with.

I opened this thread thinking it was going to be about the lack of physical artefacts now everything is electronic. That would actually be worth discussing.

In my experience, people who lived through and particularly those fought in either or both world wars didn’t speak about it if they could help it.

And when they did, it was in brief, bright ‘made the best of it, just got on with it’ terms, which hid a lot of hurt (physical and/or emotional) and went a long way to create the myths which surround WW2, which are nowadays too often presented as history.

Edited to add that I was born in the 1950s and had shedloads of family who had lived through one or both wars, and fought in the second.

@SquirrelMadness yes, I’m extremely glad I haven’t lived through the type of hardship my grandparents did. I work every day to ensure my children’s lives are easier than mine. But it seems blatantly obvious to me that my grandparents dealt with things better than people my age seem able to, and their mental health is better for it.

That is not the same as thinking it is a preferable to live through hard times. I think that’s reasonably obvious. I am, without any sarcasm whatsoever, extremely glad to have lived the sort of life where I can navel-gaze and mope about over things that my grandparents shrugged off as just another Tuesday. I, quite obviously, would not want to trade places with my grandmother. However, it’s also evident to me (and I think there’s interesting research about this too) that navel-gazing and moping is not good for your mental health or resilience. So I do think it’s worth pondering on what our grandparents went through so we can remind ourselves to buck up.

That’s just kids and teenagers, they (or the fortunate majority of them) don’t have enough lived experience to be able to see it from that perspective.
It’s not a new thing, there’s been some form of ‘kids these days don’t know they’re born’ complaints for almost as long as we’ve had written history and there was almost definitely similar complaints made about your grandparents generation.

Well It think life was easier for my age group than my son's age group. Shafted by Brexit, Covid, the economic situation, climate change and the likes of Farage and Putin in the world. Yes we had the fear of nuclear war but it didn't feel as existential as it does now.

OK we haven't (yet) had WW3 but I wouldn't say life is exactly a bed of roses for them. Healthcare is way better than it was, and that's a huge thing, but it's the only positive thing that I can see.

I also think life used to be physically harder but mentally easier.

I agree. The relentless daily comparison between people, children being tested and ranked from age 4 at school, and being constantly judged against arbitrary measures of success is psychologically exhausting. We have deprived them of the freedom
and fun of youth and wonder why they seem different to us as adults.

I understand what you’re saying. My kids love our stories of all the crazy adventures we went on. And I worry about the same. We bring them on lots of adventures and they will have memories of really fun times. But it’s just not the same as growing up in the 90s. My kids friends aren’t out as much as we were out so that means my kids aren’t out as much as we were. So I fear they are missing out on so much. Structured clubs every night out the week isn’t a childhood.

Living without technology is hardly a huge story to tell is it? I say that as someone from that generation.
There may well be another war that they can discuss.
Social media may completely fade out and when this generation are older and it could become a story of different times. Even if that doesn't, somethings will change as they always do and the current young generation will compare it to what they had growing up.
The teens and children of today lived through a pandemic.
Your history is no more superior, and probably a lot less interesting than what the children and young people of today will have to tell in the future.

Very true! I guess because I'm in a generation that heard the real, genuine poverty hardships personally from GPs it has affected my way of thinking and how lucky we are now. Xx

Struggling to see your point, OP. Kids today will have plenty of hardships to talk about. Hopefully not a real war but there’s plenty of issues about. They’re very different but no better or worse - just because someone else may have experienced something objectively worse doesn’t make the issues any the less challenging. By minimising their problems, I’m sorry, but you’re part of the problem 🤷‍♀️

Great response. This is exactly what I was thinking but wasn't sure how to word it. Thank you😊

One of my grandparents was in a prisoner of war camp in the far east and when he returned, apparently never spoke a word about it, presumably because it was so traumatic. My other grandparents didn't talk about it much either. I can remember 2 occasions when they did. My grandmother lost her first husband at sea to WW2 after only being married for a few months and none of us found out until after she died and we found the marriage certificate and war medals. Though there are a lot of stories about the wars, it wasn't something that you'd want to happen so that you could tell family in the future.

I’d be delighted if my dc only had vacuous lives of comfort and plenty, but I don’t think that’s remotely likely. I suspect in 50 years or so they will be envious of those of us who lived through an era of peace and prosperity.

My grandmother was 13 when the war broke out. She was so traumatised that she was terrified the spilled were coming for her at 96 when she was ravaged by dementia.

This probably looked quite manageable compared to many generations earlier who watched half of the world’s population die from the Black Death. Or kids today growing up in Gaza where they’ve been running for years, have no food, no education, living in a refugee camp and likely lost most of their family. Pain and trauma is sadly relative.

I hope you’re very grateful for everything you have and recognise that thanks to Ai, the next generation will likely have it much worse than you.

This generation will have personal stories but generally not sad/horrific tales. In my opinion it will be the first generation where every child has a story of an adventure abroad or enriching experience. In the past many families rarely left the town they grew up in due to finances. There are now so many more opportunities to do extreme sports, excursions, educational trips etc, these things are now are easily accessible for all. This generation will have incredible childhood tales, filled with fun and adventure, surely that's better for society. Happy kids become well adjusted adults. Traumatised children generally struggle with their mental health and expressing normal emotions, even as adults. Which isn't helpful for anyone.

i think it’s just educafion to be honest and whether or not parents can be bothered to find out their own histories let alone pass it on. stories are carried down through generations, being born in the 90s I don’t have many ‘exciting’ stories of my own but I’ve got hundreds of years worth of history passed down through generations to pass on including a family tree map which I can’t wait to share with DD when she’s old enough. And then hopefully she passes it on including memories of her own. I’ll make sure she doesn’t put that little value in herself that all she can share is tales of lip fillers and instagram
my DH however his parents never bothered to tell him any of his family history - none. And he has a Scottish and Italian heritage - it’s quite sad really must have a whole extended family somewhere in a village in Italy he doesn’t even know exists because his family never bothered to pass it down.

Every generation has different stories to tell and different memories. Change is nothing new and technology is nothing new. Imagine the changes brought about by inventions like the car, train and plane, all in relatively quick succession. We’re nothing special.

I, for one, am pleased my children don’t have to go through the trauma of War through their lives! However, they lived through a global pandemic, which is pretty big. There are many other things they can talk about, .

Oh and I don’t post pics of my children on social media anywhere, although I do tell them they’re handsome and can do anything. It’s important for children to have their primary caregivers believe in them - if not them then who?

YABU for arbitrary comparison to previous generations.

I dunno. I grew up in the 80s/90s and was, by the late 90s, very aware sod all had happening compared to 60s/70s but now I get to say I grew up without the internet so the day is saved (lol).

I expect some angle will come up (in retrospect) for younger generations.

I have absolutely no clue what the op is on about here.

Absolutely. My dad once went into my children’s school when they invited him to talk about his experiences. The kids all loved it but he said he couldn’t ever talk about it again. He didn’t just suffer himself - he was six and a half stone when he left the camp and was locked up for his entire early twenties - but he also saw friends being blown up and was threatened several times with being shot himself. He still had nightmares until the day he died.

I know older and Reform voters people love to make up shit about everyone being more resilient in those days but they just showed their trauma in different ways.

I often ponder about these things, OP. I also remember being bored shitless with my parents and grandparents reminiscing about 'their days' and even telling my dad, who loved history, that 'I wasn't interested in the past, only the future'. He was probably gutted 🤣. I think we spend an inordinate amount of time (more so as we age) banging on about when we were young - and not every child is interested. Then god forbid, we turn into our parents and start repeating the same, mundane things over and over again. As PP has mentioned, every generation has their own history, and the pandemic will be a huge story to tell. I giggle with my (young adult kids) at the fact they will be relaying how 'one day Boris the then PM, came on telly and told us we had to stay at home' for a year or so...!!! I also think in a world where so much will be tech and AI driven, people will crave humanity and perhaps it will become cool to ditch tech and meet in real life etc.. who knows- my old Punk days are forever in my thoughts though 🧑‍🎤

Well, so what? That doesn't mean their kids will lack happy memories.

Each generation has different experiences and different norms. The only reason each generation thinks it had better childhoods than the one that comes after it because your memories of childhood are linked to a time in your life when you were easily pleased, fairly innocent about the world and no responsibilities and everything you did felt new and exciting, that's all.

And just because a child's parents are into social media, that doesn't mean the child doesn't also have other things in their life or that the parents don't do loads of fun family stuff with them.

As for the 'struggles of the past' - all generations have struggles. They're just different, that's all. It wasn't character-building for my grandparents to bring up small children in the middle of a war. It was, as they would certainly have told you, absolutely awful and miserable and essentially stole away a large chunk of family life and marriage. People weren't made stronger by it.