Worried about future generations lack of personal history

[Allonthesametrain]

Just had a big family get together and sharing experiences of growing up. GPs stories of WW2, growing up on rations, real history dialogue, which we as DC know, also our DC were enthralled.

Us as parents, growing up in the 1970s and 1980s in our youths, we tell them how we lived before major technology, they listen to our music and love some if it.

I do wonder, our DC will share their experiences of growing up and, not all I know, but had a gender reveal, had princess outfits every birthday, told how beautiful I was every day on SM by parents and everyone.

Just such a vast contrast when as kids we were expected to be not seen and heard to being the centre of attention.

So going forward, being the centre of attention within the sphere of adoring parents and all attached, is this realistic for expecting everyone else in the real world our DC has to go in to?

Of course not. Our DC and are indeed the centre of our world but posting on SM every birthday, how amazing he/she looks, does set a predecent to expectations.

Our DC know first hand about the struggles of the past, but go forward a few generations, no matter what has been passed on, it's irrelevant.

Am I being a bit concerned that several generations from now, not for all but many people, will only know the newest false eyelashes, plastic surgery, pumped up lips, following a sheep fashion of long straightened hair or whatever is in vogue for model perfection.

I know this is beyond my time on earth but it's natural to worry about what the future holds for our future world 🌎

What? If your grandparents were old enough to have had your mother as a baby in 1940, I’m guessing they’d have been born around the end of WW1? That would make them, what, 110 now?

Well if that's the aim then there are horrific things happening in so many countries right now. They dont need history lessons to learn about suffering. They could just turn the news on and see it in real time.

I’m not sure I’m following OP. Our kids had Covid and lockdowns to deal with, a looming youth unemployment crisis, their jobs being wiped out by AI, unable to afford to buy a house, online bullying 24/7, parents trying to cope with a cost of living crisis and somehow you think you have a better ‘personal history’ because you had……Spandau Ballet?

This generation lived through COVID. They couldn't go to school, do hobbies or see friends.

They're seeing just as much disaster and tragedy in the world (genocide in Palestine, war with Russia/Ukraine to name just a couple!) and on top of that have to deal with the fact that more and more people are talking about bringing back national service or even conscription should wars affect the UK. Which many are saying the Russia/Ukraine conflict could. Terrifying for them.

They are witnessing hideous unrest in their country, with the UK becoming increasingly violent, dangerous, racist, antisemitic, and generally hateful. Huge violent protests filling the streets.

Their futures look bleak due to the state of the UK - cost of living, lack of jobs, unaffordability of basically everything that previous generations were able to acheive far more easily.

The internet means that the world's problems are thrust into their lives whether they like it or not and that wreaks havoc on mental health.

I think they have it far harder than previous generations. Of course the world wars are an exception but honestly at least after world war two the future for the UK looked optimistic, brighter, and people could work to save and build their lives - able to work a normal job and support their family and still buy a house. Now even with two parents working, most people can barely afford to even get by, and kids are growing up with this.

How is this easy? Nice comments on social media dont make up for all of this.

I think history will show it's your/our generation that had it best. We haven't lived through wars (assuming you are in the UK), whereas future generations will have to live through late stage capitalism and climate change etc. I think they have a right to complain that things are getting worse, not better, which hasn't occurred to any previous generation in modern times.

I was born in the 1970’s too. I’m bloody delighted nobody took pictures of me pissed at my (free) university making a tit of myself in the SU bar, there was no such thing as Twitter and Snapchat so no worries about inane things I posted online as a naive 18 year old resurfacing years later as part of a job application, I bought my first London flat age 21 for £42k, DH was born a year before me and has a superb final salary pension. We’ll inherit well from our boomer parents. Our generation had things really easy in comparison to the world our kids are growing up in.

It depends on how you raise your children i was born in the 70s and I parent in a very similar way to my parents we all use the internet ans forums but none of us post pictures nor live our lives on social media

Yes but you didn't go through any of that yourself - so why are you co-opting previous generations personal history and thinking that makes you superior to younger generations? There is very good chance will have it much tougher than you over your respective lifespans.

@Allonthesametrain
I strongly recommend you stop telling your kids they are beautiful all the time. Their self-esteem should be built on something more than looks.

Their lives are significantly more photographically documented as prompts to memory.

I think it’s one of those: kids don’t know they’re born and can’t be bothered to turn up to work threads.

OP my parents were both in the war because I’m ancient and they were old parents. But I can tell you they certainly didn’t have jolly chats about it. It didn’t make them more resilient and grateful. They were both extremely traumatised- my dad from fighting and seeing people dying in front of him and spending years in a POW camp; meanwhile my mother was traumatised from being wrenched from her family at eight years old and made to do chores in a strangers family while they collected her rations and fed her left overs.

It made both of them terrified of losing what they had and rather than being grateful and appreciative they became obsessed with keeping onto things and would hoard everything- money, houses, even bits of string and out of date paint. They in turn traumatised both of their children. There was no therapy to help them get over their experiences and both of them needed sleeping pills to be able to sleep.

Neither of my children are obsessed with social media although they use it. They manage to hold down jobs. They’ve both gone through quite a lot through Covid and lock down. The difference is they’ve had parents who’ve managed to support them through difficulties. I would say both of them are more resilient than me because they haven’t been exposed to their parents’ trauma.

I’m sure there are lots of people who were more appreciative because of their experiences but it was certainly not universal. And there are many hardworking and responsible young people. The thing that’s endemic about many older people is they seem to look back as if it was some golden age. Well it wasn’t for many.

But you did not live through any of that…. By your logic, you will be the same as the next generation.

However, kids nowadays are more aware of world politics than any previous generations. You had stories passed down, they have… social media, always accessible news, a wealth of perspectives to learn from.

Agree with you re I don't really get what the OP means fully.

I think in general though, for US kids, especially those in their formative years, what an amazingly history changing era they are living through. US politics are changing drastically, as is the world order perhaps.

And I am trying to be politically neutral as I write this.... the teens today that will be experiencing the 250th anniversary thing, are the leaders of tomorrow. And they will have a hell of a lot of "lived through" experience when they take the helm and talk about what direction they want their country to go.

That's my positive spin on it anyway.

Fingers crossed that when they are the leaders, they are not building 500 foot high memorials to "Dear Leader".

I wouldn't go measuring their wheat with your bushel OP.

It's unfortunately not uncommon for older generations to to assess younger generations using their own (outdated) frame of reference (which is what you are doing). It can lead to unfair judgement, and disconnect.

We tend to get more conservative as we age and I think its helpful to remember that so we can work at staying open to change.

I don't constantly tell my ds how good looking he is, or that he is my little Prince. What a weird thing to do. My ds knows I love him and have his back always which is what matters.

My mum told me stories of WWII, I've told my ds about stand pipes in the street in the 70s, uni in the 80s, the casual sexism, travelling the world for work and being in the US at 9/11.

My ds will remember covid and the Ukraine war. He'll have his own history and his own challenges. I pray they are challenges that can be fixed.

All I can do is model calm, practical resilience. He already does OK at 17. He has a responsible job, knows to save some and enjoy some. He took the recent rogue maths a'level calmly, He'll be fine.

Am I being a bit concerned that several generations from now, not for all but many people, will only know the newest false eyelashes, plastic surgery, pumped up lips, following a sheep fashion of long straightened hair or whatever is in vogue for model perfection.

OP, several generations from now we will be going through some very difficult times in terms of climate change, likely war, AI, ageing population, etc. I'm surprised you are worrying that people will only know/ care about things like false eyelashes and fashion. Life will become harder.

People will have worries on a scale very much akin to what our great grandparents would have gone through... not in terms of what is actually happening... but certainly in terms of the magnitude of struggles.

We are at a sweet spot in human history now and living in a privileged era. That will change. I doubt that plastic surgery and lip filler will be on the radar of most people in a few generations - people will not be able to afford it because they will be spending all their money on food and energy.

My grandpa fought in ww2. He couldn't speak about it because it broke him. Being forced to kill people he didn't want to was hardly fun chat before a family sing song. The only thing he wanted was for future generations to never have to go to war. He'd have been delighted that I've never seen anyone die in a war zone or had to kill them. Never been captured and sent to a prisoner of war camp by the nazis, terrified every day I'd die.

My great aunt was sexually abused by a neighbour upstairs in the slums of London. It was spoken about once in hushed whispers as the reason she was awful to her own child. Again, not exactly fun family chat.

Suffering is damaging. If you want to build it into your life feel free but leave the rest of us out of it. I don't have Botox or post photos of dd on social media but I'm very glad to have a pleasant life.

A global pandemic. AI. Climate collapse. Probably a world war, if Putin doesn’t die soon.

That’s enough to keep them going.

Yeah none of this adds up. Today’s GPs were born in the 50s or even 60s. This is a dumb manipulative post.

Rupert Lowe, is that you?

Tragically this generation will soon be suffering the effects of climate change which will make life very hard.
I see what you mean about the downside of constantly praising children, or anyone else . It is probably a fashion that will pass.

Well they can talk about Covid and about how they couldn’t get a job but maxed themselves with thousands of pounds worth of uni debt. And they can reminisce about how they wanted children but due to a housing shortage could only ever get a one bedroom flat So that was off the cards. What else?

Oh yeah well they can fondly remember the heatwaves and the storms and the climbing panic over climate change which the preceding generations failed to sort out.

if you’re talking about cultural ignorance, well that starts around the table with parents who talk about current events rather than gossip. And I always talk to them about books that I’m reading. We all watch Have I Got News For You together because we love it but gradually they’re assimilating a lot of knowledge about current and past events. We tend to watch either documentaries or comedies haha.

My children won’t be insular social media dollies, I really can’t see that…you just need to train them to have an interest outside their own experience of the world. We all know these kids are in for a rough ride and gazing at yourself in a ring mirror or sitting glued to love island isn’t going to prepare them for anything.

I'm late 40s and they're dead. I knew them growing up though. My last grandparent died in my 20s. All of my grandparents were impacted by the war. It changed them and the way they parented and not for the better mostly. My parents were born not long after and lived with the damage and rationing growing up. That's far more part of our conversation and I'm glad to say they're still able to have these chats. It's not the most interesting thing about them though and I certainly don't want dd to suffer 'interesting times'.

What an odd post!

So, there are only two lessons to pass on to our children apparently- going through a world war OR instagram plastic surgery pics, false eyelashes and lip injections. WTAF?

If you think like this, no wonder you worry your kids are doomed.

Blimey.

Very strange to think your childhood counts as valuable history, but today’s kids lives won’t.

Thats how it works - in 50 years we will be looking back on this era and reminiscing about it.

Honestly the ‘oh but the war’ rhetoric from older adults who didn’t actually fight it in is incredibly annoying. Dismissing the issues of today’s youth because of a war before even their own living memory / they were even both themselves.

It is an also a strange tendency of humans to think we individually desperately suffered, but others all have it very easy.

The bit about appearance and plastic surgery I don’t really understand at all.

There are still lots of families having very interesting lives travelling the globe with e.g. multinationals, Foreign Office, military. They will compare their experiences of COVID etc with their friends who grew up with it in the UK. Comparing the different cultures, it's fascinating to compare childhood differences once older.
Life isn't just about what your bored parents have posted on social media for their 200 contacts who barely even look at the photos.