AIBU to not consider 21 a milestone birthday?

[DragonsAndDaffs]

Do you consider 21 a milestone birthday?
DD is 21 soon, and many of her friends have already turned 21; none of them has had a party, and they have all just marked the birthday like any other... they all consider 18 the milestone coming-of-age birthday, and I would agree.

I'm old enough to remember my aunt turning 21 in 1969, before the voting age was lowered in 1970.

YANBU 21 is not a milestone
YABU 21 is still a milestone

Yes YABU

Sorry but for me 18th and 21st for were 100% THE important milestone birthdays!!! My 18th was shit (thank you to my 6th from "friends" who ignored me completely and my ex who thought a few shots of apple sours and a pint of fosters sufficed as an 18th birthday celebration 😭) but my 21st was bloody epic! Had a great weekend away with my family then back to my uni city to celebrate with friends and co workers. Tbh I feel your 21st is the last big milestone birthday before 30!

My DD is 21 this month. We'll be celebrating the way we always do, with a decent gift and a meal out or an extended family party at home. We're also taking all of our young adult kids on a family holiday this year. We did the same for 18th. In our circles nobody has big parties for 21.

The only thing that changes at 21 for our DC is it is the age we decided we wanted their savings plans to mature, so each kid got /will get a sum of around £10k todo something useful, like support them through a masters, buy a car, travel for a summer, start them saving for a house deposit. This was deliberate as I thought 18 was too young to come into such a sum.

Many young people will finish uni and move into a graduate job (hopefully!) at 21 so is still a critical transition for these YP. However my DD is doing a 4y course so won't graduate til she is 22. I look at the young people around me and they all come to adulthood at different times

@Onbdy but did that come from you, telling them 21 was a big deal. DS just didn’t understand why we saw 21 as a big birthday. Although interestingly his GF saw it as a bigger deal than him

The key to what door? I was 19 when I moved out so already had a "key to the door".

21as a milestone birthday is a historical anachronism. It used to be the age of majority, when you were considered a full, independent adult, hence the ‘key to the door’ thing (which literally translated as being given your own front door key to come and go as you pleased), as well as when you would receive any inheritances or entitlements in full etc. It doesnt really work that way now, most 21yos are still at uni and have been able to vote since 18 as well as a number of other things. It’s hung on as a tradition rather than anything especially meaningful.

@Dontcallmescarface its a song lyric 🤦🏼‍♀️

It’s hung on as a tradition rather than anything especially meaningful.
Exactly. I don't understand why people are saying it makes no sense to celebrate it as a milestone now. Sometimes you can just celebrate stuff because it's traditional to do so rather than it having to have a contemporary meaning.

These are the lyrics the the Twenty One Today song, which gives the key reference, it used to be a well known song/phrase.

Twenty-one today, twenty-one today
You've got the key to the door
Never been twenty-one before

I think it is outdated now. My mum is 79 and it was a thing back then, it was a special birthday and her grandmother gave her a ring. Now that it is 18, 21 is more often not celebrated in the same way as it used to be.

People don't seem to celebrate 18th birthdays in the same way either, when I turned 18 everyone was having parties, but nobody seems to do that any more.

It's clear from this thread that opinion is split

Yeah, currently split 80-20 in favour of 21 being significant OP.

I live in NZ, 21 is definitely a milestone, the biggest actually, every single person I know has done something big to celebrate (whatever big means to them)

@sittingonabeach
Nothing to do with me, more of a peer influence thing. Their friends seemed to celebrate 18th and 21st birthdays. Any excuse for a party at that age!

I still feel faintly miffed that when I was 18, it was just another birthday - nice but not spectacular - and 21 was the age of majority. Then the law changed, the goalposts moved, and when my 21st came around, it wasn't the big deal any more! (but the "twenty-one today" song was trotted out at the celebrations)
I can see why it was considered significant; generalising hugely, it was the stage where people who had opted for further education were "coming out the other side", (eg I was newly a fully qualified teacher), the age when one could marry without parental permission (although it was possible to marry at 16 with said agreement) the age at which you could take on a mortgage etc.
Ironically, it was quite possible that, given a school leaving age of 15, some of those youngsters could have been earning (admittedly modest) wages and paying taxes for 6 years by then.
One of my school friends left school at 15, much frowned upon by her grammar school, but legally they couldn't stop her, to train as a telephonist.

Decades ago you only became an adult at 21, not 18. Hence the song lyrics previously quoted to you.

I always wondered what the key was about. Never heard the song before.

Id moved out at 17 though.

I wouldn't consider it a milestone birthday and don't know anyone who's had a 21st party since my sister in 1975.