AIBU to not consider 21 a milestone birthday?

[DragonsAndDaffs]

Do you consider 21 a milestone birthday?
DD is 21 soon, and many of her friends have already turned 21; none of them has had a party, and they have all just marked the birthday like any other... they all consider 18 the milestone coming-of-age birthday, and I would agree.

I'm old enough to remember my aunt turning 21 in 1969, before the voting age was lowered in 1970.

YANBU 21 is not a milestone
YABU 21 is still a milestone

In the USA 21 is a milestone because it is the legal age to buy and drink alcohol.

Bah humbug

In my family 18 is a real milestone but 21 is certainly celebration worthy. Maybe we just like to celebrate (and have family in the US who think 16 & 21 are milestones).
Personally I think there are too few things to celebrate these days and I’m happy to raise a glass and hit the Dancefloor for just about anything.

It's arguably the most significant milestone birthday!

I was 21 in the '80s. I don't remember anyone celebrating their 18th then.

I'm Irish, if that's relevant.

I don’t know anyone who celebrated it as a milestone. My parents saw it as a bit of one, but that’s because they’re old enough for that to have been the age of majority. We all celebrated 18th instead.

But it's not universally recognised by my 20 year old dds friendship group and other posters have said the same of their children.

We say 18 is fun with friends. 21 is grown up with a serious gift and family celebration.

How though?

In the U.K. what can you do at 21 that you couldn’t at 18.

I think 18 and 21 are milestone/big birthdays. Mumsnet are weird about adults celebrating and acknowledging birthdays in general though. Once you hit 18, you must learn life is shit and not about you. 🙄

My son had a party for his 21st and then and a holiday with his friends. My daughter will have the same or whatever she wants instead.

Celebrating your 21st was a big deal when I was that age but it was more a legacy thing from my parents generation when you were legally able to drink and vote at 21, before it got lowered to 18 in the early 70s (Ireland).
My eldest is 19 and I don't think they see it as a big deal any more.

It is very much recognised as a milestone by my dd and her friends who are all around that age now.

That's fine......I was responding to the poster who said that 21 was universally recognised as a milestone.
It's clear from this thread that opinion is split, I wonder if it's regional?
I'm in South West Wales.

I think 30,40,50,60 etc feel like a bigger deal.

At 21 most people I know were at university, so had a house party or that sort of thing. No one has much money at 21 so they can’t self fund what they want to do. Maybe parents pay for a bigger event but it’s still very much a sort of “end” birthday of your old life - celebrating with parents and other relatives that you likely won’t be living with for much longer, school friends, university friends, all of whom you will be saying goodbye to soon. Maybe you’ll be in touch with them in 20 years time, maybe you won’t.

DS is 21 next birthday. It's not as big a milestone as 18 but still significant. Big parties at venues are mostly a thing of the past for 18 and 21. To be honest, I'm over 60 and 18 was the big one even in the 80s. I went to only one swanky 21st birthday and it said more about what her family was like then anything else.

Now 65, that has no significance at all now as it isn't a retirement age or an 0 birthday

I know in the UK it used to be, but I think 18 is far more significant now. Nothing changes at 21, you have already been an adult for 3 years by then. Our kids and their friends had more significant 18th celebrations, not 21st.

I'm in my 60s but I seem to remember more fuss being made for my 21st than my 18th. I didn't have a party for either but the whole family went out for a meal to celebrate my 21st.

We celebrated DDs 18th and 21st. I think for her 18th we paid for her to take all her friends out for a meal. For her 21st she was away at University so DH and I went over for the weekend and we all three stayed in a swanky hotel in the city centre and had a meal at a very nice restaurant. She celebrated separately with her friends.

I think it's less regional and more life stage related. If you go to university straight from school on a standard 3 year degree then 21 is also significant for being when you finish education and complete another significant milestone. If you've been working for 3 years already or on a longer degree or started later so still studying I imagine it would seem less significant.

Yeah it's just for the US when you can drink.

I remember the 'key to the door' cards from the 80s. It seemed like an old fashioned concept even then. Maybe in the mid century quite a few people actually did buy their first properties at that age? As surely you'd have a key to the family home long before that?

The only thing that really happens at 21 is a lot of kids might graduate uni. But that would be celebrated seperately.

It's very culturally specific indeed - it's only a significant birthday in a small number of (English speaking) countries, and outside the USA where it's drinking age in most (but not all) states, it's only a milestone for historical reasons.

Surely it should be 25 (pre frontal cortex maturity, though very approximate and individual and arguably a couple of years later for men on average) ...

I guess 21 is the minimum age to rent a car with many rental car companies, but it's not significant for much else! Even for that there's a surcharge for under 25s (my adult child, who has driven tens of thousands of km in four countries in the EU and has a car through work which he has to drive in a very busy city centre between appointments, was most annoyed to discover that in practical terms renting a car in the UK is ruled out for under 25s).

18 was the milstone birthday for me and my friends and my sons.

At 21 we/they were away at Uni so celebrated with friends but didn't have big family parties.

Why is it significant?

It wasn´t to me, and I was 21 in 1995. My gran and aunts treated me to a posh lunch out, of which I have a huge photo and gave me cards with a key on and a lovely gold locket.
I treated it as a normal birthday as to me 18 had been the landmark. But then, I was brought up in Spain, where 21 isn´t a thing.

Or maybe it's just the case that all humans are different and whilst some people do things, others may not.

Just because your DD and her friends don't consider it a milestone birthday, clearly others do.

Why does it have to be that what is correct for one person is 100% the case for everyone else?

FWIW I'm 40 and celebrated my 21st with a big birthday party, as did everyone I know.

My DD is 21 next month.

Yes, it is a milestone.

She is not having a party but I am taking her away for a few days (Lake District)

I will do the same for my son when is 21 too - possibly different location ?

16 and 18 were celebrations too.