AIBU to not consider 21 a milestone birthday?

[DragonsAndDaffs]

Do you consider 21 a milestone birthday?
DD is 21 soon, and many of her friends have already turned 21; none of them has had a party, and they have all just marked the birthday like any other... they all consider 18 the milestone coming-of-age birthday, and I would agree.

I'm old enough to remember my aunt turning 21 in 1969, before the voting age was lowered in 1970.

YANBU 21 is not a milestone
YABU 21 is still a milestone

I asked my 17 year old about this. She said that the 21 marker is more of an American thing as that’s the age people can drink alcohol, and are deemed an adult there. Whereas here in the uk they only need to be 18 to legally have sex/marry/drink/buy cigarettes etc. To her and her friends they’re excited about turning 18 and wouldn’t think anything about becoming 21.

21 is more of a milestone than 16 is.

Sixteen was a non-birthday when I was that age, but I did enjoy being able to buy a lottery ticket and some cigarettes!

Agreed…because that’s the drinking age, so it’s understandable. UK 21YOs don’t get any new rights, so I don’t get it, but loads do seem to make a big deal when turning 21.

I think 18 is not an age where I'd consider someone an adult - 21 is closer. Significant birthdays? What does that mean/involve? Bigger gifts/presents/parties I think they'd want all of them to be more significant!😂

It’s just a traditional thing isn’t it? I know some people that had parties for their 21st. Though most people don’t have parties for milestones so I’m not sure that’s the deciding factor. You tend to get special cards for 21 that you don’t for any other 20 something age so it’d suggest people are buying them and celebrating it.

I guess having a 21st party means all your friends are usually of age to drink. If you have an 18th party and you are one of the oldest in your friendship group it might be awkward for drinking if you hire a place.

I think 21 is more of a milestone than 18 tbh

18 is a milestone birthday, as that is when you become an adult. 16, 21 or amy other birthday is not a milestone

I think the key for me is ‘Milestone’ so in the UK I would say 18 and 67 (or whatever the retirement age is), and 100. I’ve never considered 30, 40, 50, etc. to be milestones because they aren’t life changing.

There are other milestones, of course, like first job, engagement, marriage, (divorce 😉), birth of children, house purchase, but these aren’t birthday linked.

Edited to say.... I suppose, sex, fags and tattoos at 16 are milestones 😉

I’m interested in why, assuming you’re in the UK. It doesn’t really make a difference in what you’re able to do.

Yes, I absolutely consider it a milestone birthday.

I guess for a lot of young people if they are at university- 21 is their final year when they’ll hopefully go into full adulthood, independent and working. And that’s more common now than it was in 1970, when many people were typically working at 15, often married by 21, and I would have thought that rare nowadays.

For most people it’s just another reason for a celebration, however they choose to do it. Make life feel a bit more special - why not ?

Graduation. It's traditionally an age for finishing education and starting a proper independent life.

My posh friends went in for big 21sts. I had a bigger 18th, and a minimal to non-existent 21st and it was the same amongst my similarly not-super-posh friends.

Neither of them are. 21 has some historic significance but there's nothing you can do at 21 that you can do at 18.

Not everyone goes to university, and not everyone is 21 when they graduate. I appreciate graduation is a milestone but it isn’t age-specific.

I’m not saying don’t celebrate, but I don’t get why some people have said this is a bigger milestone than the age you legally become an adult.

No, but it's a big factor in why it's traditionally celebrated. And traditions don't always remain logical. So while now it might not mean anything significant legally to turn 21 it retains its significance for the sake of it.

It's a milestone just because it's seen as one. It's not deeper than that.

21st has always been a big birthday in the UK as long as I can remember.

I think 21 used to be the big milestone and it's now 18. In our family my cousins, siblings and I all had our biggest birthday at 18. Same for my children, but we did do something special for each of our children's 21sts too, more than we had for their 19th or 20th for example. As mine were in their final year of uni for their 21sts, it was also the last birthday before starting full time work and no longer being our dependants.

I'm ready to turn 55 and remember lots of fancy keys in boxes as gifts for the key to the door sort of thing. 18th was special as well though 😊

But graduation is a milestone event in its own right, not something birthday related. Graduation could be 20, 21, 22 or any year after.

one of my children had their 21st during COVID. We made the most of a rubbish time.
Ballons,booze and an online party. Older brother sneaked home from Bristol undercover to get involved.
It was shit TBH ,but unforgettable!

I the op is just referring to the age of 21 being a milestone birthday still, or if it's no longer considered to be one.
The post is not about older milestone birthdays, just 21st birthdays.

I wonder if 21 will still be a special birthday for the next generation or the generation after that?

@DogAndCatAddict
This!
I never cease to be amazed by some of the ridiculous ideas and views I read on here! 😂
My DDs and their friends definitely saw 21 as a big birthday. They are 26 and 27 now so we aren’t talking that long ago! They celebrated their 18th birthdays as well but they didn’t have parties.