AIBU to expect grown-up children at home to contribute?

[Sam9769]

Are parents nowadays spoiling their kids?
I see people with grown up kids living at home who seem to do everything for them and don't expect them to pay anything towards the household bills or help out in anyway at home. Parents are doing the gardening, DIY etc with no help from the grown up kids who are driving around in their cars, out with friends and going on holiday?
Is that the way it should be or AIBU to expect them to contribute both financially and practically?

I think you were expected to help but you didn’t

Gardening like mowing the lawn is pat of household tasks. You’d think when you had “adults” living in the house they’d understand that.

Mowing the lawn yes, but that's a maintenance task, not gardening. I haven't spent more than a week in my parents' house since turning 18 (almost 40 years ago), but my mother has always, then, now and in between, greeted me - and later my children even though she barely knows them - with gardening tasks such as digging over beds, planting trees and heavy pruning requiring ladders, as well as weeding which cannot be done correctly unless she micromanages. DIY is also not an intrinsic part of living in a home if it's projects rather than fixing something which breaks.

All of which I said in the post you're replying to.

Hoovering, mowing the lawn, sweeping up leaves, laundry (but not other people's underwear), washing up, dishwasher, cleaning the kitchen and bathroom, cooking, grocery shopping- yes, whoever lives in the house. Gardening and DIY - no, those are projects.

Mine never have and never will contribute. It's their home no matter if they're 5 or 55 they're not lodgers!!!

If I had lived at home post uni (lol never had the option 😭) it was fully expected that I would have paid board. As my siblings did when they were allowed to move back home.

I mean yes if you can afford it, on the surface it's great they don't have to pay market rent and can save etc. obviously for some that simply isn't an option, once they are adults, like other adults they are expected to pay their way? It was just sort of always drilled into me that if you've left education, and youve got a job you pay for accomodation much like any other adult. To be fair despite the slight differences we were all given the same chance to own a home so all 4 of us will do. But yeah I don't see anything wrong with adults contributing to the household they live in? At the end of the day if they lived independently they'd have to?

My dc1 paid rent during his gap year. All the dc help with cooking and cleaning from a young age.

My dh never did chores at home and paid a minimal amount of rent to live at home but like your dh cooks (6 nights out of 7) for our family, parents as much as I do, cleans, tidies does diy, does the garden and does his fair share in our home.

the idea is when looking for a husband is to choose wisely, thankfully I did!

im sure my ds will manage just fine too.

If it’s that cushy at yours they’ll still be there at 55!

@Allseeingallknowing Yes, if mine do end up moving home after university, they're welcome to live here, but surely healthy 20-somethings don't need middle-aged DH and I doing cooking and chores for them. With elderly parents in the mix, I feel so stretched sometimes already.