AIBU to think a swearing shopper should have been asked to leave?

[Nofunnybusiness]

In a small charity shop with DC3, a man with what appears to be learning /speach difficulties appears agitated and starts repeatedly telling the x2 men he is with (assume his carers) to F Off. The other men do not seem to be doing anything to calm the situation or stop him swearing. A member of staff walks past and appologies to me for his language, I ask if the manager is about and if he can be asked to leave the shop. Another shopper hears this and is absolutely horrified that I have asked if he can leave, her view is that we should just ignore him as he doesn't know what he is saying (I'm not convinced about that). The shop lady did say she was not going to ask him to leave and they did leave quite quickly after that, although not straight away. Generally interested to hear your thoughts!

What the actual heck are you even jabbering on about 😂😂😂
Disempowering the well.... The power was in the OPs legs to leave if she had a problem.

Do you think someone swearing makes them unwell? 😂 If so, you are most definitely on the wrong site

This would have been a perfect time to explain to your kids that we act with kindness towards people who think and behave differently from us. I would imagine the carers in question had a strategy in place to support the man and that might have been to ignore his words and redirect his attention. They will know him best: if they don't seem worried, I would take my cue from that.

It would also be perfectly acceptable to explain to your children that you are going to leave to make a bit more space for the man. This man was somebody's child once and he may have been indistinguishable from your kids until an illness/accident/mental health situation gave him some difficulties.

I want my child to grow up to be a considerate citizen who thinks about the needs of others and has some understanding of challenges faced that they have been spared. I would also feel incredibly blessed that might children aren't facing those difficulties, but it is luck that is responsible for that. I hope you continue to be lucky in that regard, OP, and that you encourage compassion towards those less fortunate in your children as they grow.

This.

2:1 carers and you think he should be asked to leave? Come on now, you could easily have left if you were that bothered. Go back in 20 mins. Problem solved.

You had an opportunity infront fo DC3 to model empathy and tolerance towards others but instead chose to demonstrate ignorance and entitlement.

People swear in the street, on public transport and in many other places. Not sure why you'd expect a charity shop to be any different. Sometimes your child is going to hear people swear. It's not necessarily pleasant but that's life.

I had similar on the bus two weeks ago. This older guy came on (with a walker) and started calling the driver an effing cxxt. Over and over again. Everyone was getting annoyed. I turned and spoke to him and told him to zip it and that nobody was interested in hearing his abuse. He shut up. People thanked me for speaking up. When he got off he went back into psycho mode. Clearly disturbed but when should others have to put up with it

That’s not remotely similar to the OP situation

Instead of using this as a teaching moment for your DD that not everyone is the same, and that some people may need more accomodation because of their disability; you choose to be annoyed that the individual wasnt made to leave.

Your priorities are skewed.

You should watch that film I Swear, might be insightful

I think it's best to assume that there are things you don't know and that people are doing the best they can. One of my children has complex needs - you wouldn't know it to look at him, and it may look like I'm doing nothing about his behaviour, including swearing. But I'm supporting him and managing his needs and doing my best to ensure it doesn't impact other people directly.

Hi all, thank you to everyone who has commented so far, reading through the posts and with some self reflection, for several reasons I should have just left the shop and gone back later. I think I felt protective of DC and reacted to a man constantly repeatedly swearing, rather than considering he was a man with learning difficulties (that I know little about) I can understand that what seemed like the carers doing nothing may well have been intentional to prevent the situation escalating further.

Some people are living with a disability severe enough that they need 2 carers to help them carry out everyday tasks.

Some people are intolerant arseholes.