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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think a swearing shopper should have been asked to leave?

53 replies

Nofunnybusiness · 04/06/2026 14:11

In a small charity shop with DC3, a man with what appears to be learning /speach difficulties appears agitated and starts repeatedly telling the x2 men he is with (assume his carers) to F Off. The other men do not seem to be doing anything to calm the situation or stop him swearing. A member of staff walks past and appologies to me for his language, I ask if the manager is about and if he can be asked to leave the shop. Another shopper hears this and is absolutely horrified that I have asked if he can leave, her view is that we should just ignore him as he doesn't know what he is saying (I'm not convinced about that). The shop lady did say she was not going to ask him to leave and they did leave quite quickly after that, although not straight away. Generally interested to hear your thoughts!

OP posts:
helpfulperson · 05/06/2026 20:05

The world seems to be becoming increasingly intolerant of those with struggles. Back in the 80's I grew up near the local Psychiatric Hospital and bumping into residents out and about was very normal. They were all treated by locals with kindness and understanding. Occasionally if someone was causing issues someone might contact the hospital who would respond, but no-one was hostile or blaming them for being the way they were.

Hoardasurass · 05/06/2026 21:00

MyCottageGarden · 05/06/2026 19:35

@Hoardasurass
Just because somebody has learning difficulties, doesn’t mean that asking them to stop using foul language in front of children, would constitute discrimination ffs! What world are we living in?! Swearing as a result of ticks (ie: Tourette’s) and telling someone to fuck off are quite noticeably different! Good grief

Somebody who requires 2 carers is severely disabled and the op was asking that he be kicked out of the shop so yes shes an ability trying to induce a charity shop to discriminate against him.
Also we dont know what his disability/s are but just tge ops assumption that he has some sort of learning disability

TaterTots68 · 06/06/2026 09:20

I work with some people like this. If the person has two carers with them, it's for a reason. Whilst it can be unpleasant for other people, the support workers should know what they're doing and how to de-escalate the situation. Other people getting involved is usually very unhelpful. Getting someone in a very heightened state out of somewhere safely is not always easy and can be very stressful. This could have been a great way of teaching children about diversity and being non-judgemental to people with disabilities IMHO.

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