AIBU to think my dentist was unprofessional about another patient's appearance?

[SpringDreams26]

Went to the dentist today. She is approx 45-50, I’ve been seeing her a few years. When I went in told me she was having a hot flush and I sympathised with her, I’m always happy to talk about women troubles.

Then she told me about her skin care etc, went down a bit of a rabbit hole about her routine etc. Then she said her saw a client last week, who she’d treated for years who told her she didn’t like “taking stuff” which she meant collagen, B12 injections etc. She told me it showed because she had really aged.

AIBU to think shes a bit of a twat? I felt it was extremely unprofessional to comment on another clients aging. She’s a dentist! I don’t consider us friends and obviously said very little with her fingers in my mouth.

For the record - I would like to change dentist, but they all have waiting lists.

Yes she was being a bit of a twat. That’s quite unprofessional. Do they offer Botox and so on at this surgery?

Yeah but not something I’d really be thinking about once I’d left the surgery.

Oh that is a good point! Perhaps she was trying to advertise the practice's services.

But yes commenting on another patient's appearance is definitely unprofessional

No they don’t offer Botox.

Very unprofessional. Have never had any comments like that from a dentist or doctor.

YANBU she should not have been talking about any other clients at all, yet alone mentioning the things she did.

I’ve been to the dentist today. We discussed the best electric toothbrush, the toothpaste she recommends, her children’s school and the difficulty of travel locally, when there are road works, with a main road closed.

My dentist told me I hadn't got much jaw bone shrinkage for my age. And that he has another lady my age who'd had to have a bone graft to have implants so I was doing well. He then went on to tell me she was a smoker though which hadn't helped. I didn't think anything of it as i hadnt the first clue who the woman was. (And too busy preening at my age inappropriate unshrunken jaw to care, truth be told)

Many years ago, when I was a student nurse I had my first experience watching an operation in an operating theatre, but only as an observer on that occassion. I started off in a side room, watching the patient being anaesthetised.

The operation was one where the patient had some of an enlarged prostate removed through his penis. It was a fascinating operation as the surgeon used an instrument that went up through the patient's urethra until it reached his prostate. The surgeon then started to scrape away the excess tissue with the instrument he had introduced into the patient's penis. It was quite a painstaking operation, as he had to keep on withdrawing the instrument so that he could remove the excess tissue through the urethra. The excess tissue from the prostate looked just like a chopped up rasher of streaky bacon...

Anyway, back to what I consider to be the relevant reason for me telling this little anecdote on this thread. As soon as the patient - a man in his 50's - had gone to sleep, the surgeon made a very disparaging comment to the anaesthetist about the patient's overweight body. I was shocked to hear a man, who only a minute ago I had considered to be a pleasant man, with a good bedside manner, say something so horrible about the man he had just been talking to in a friendly and reassuring manner.

His comment was not a factual one that both the surgeon and the anaesthetist needed to discuss for various logistic reasons, as the anaesthetist had already made the necessary calculations yesterday, in order to be able to administer an accurate and safe dose of the anaesthetic.

That’s relevant to dentistry though. This was just commentary on another ladies general appearance.

You dont know who they were talking about though?

It’s irrelevant. You shouldn’t be disparaging about other patients. It’s totally unnecessary and unprofessional. She probably slagged me off when I left. She was being rude about another ladies appearance in a professional setting, I went for a dental check up not a low down on her opinion of her clients aging process.

I work in a professional setting and cannot imagine telling a client how awful another clients appearance looked.

I would have just been happy to listen to her waffling on and taking my mind of what she was doing I hate going to the dentist!

Did she say Hilda Jones of 20 Acacia Avenue?
If not I don’t see the problem

Wonder if she's going to start doing Botox etc. I had to leave a dentist because he was so rude about me. Telling me I needed fillers and Botox. I was 29. I needed nothing but to keep my teeth healthy. God knows how many poor patients fell for his negging.

@Watercooler she does teeth whitening and goes for the hard sell everytime. It’s tiring tbh.

My dentist is a twat as well! 😂I can't change the practice because I don't want to lose seeing an NHS dentist.

She once commented bluntly about my uneven teeth. I found out afterwards that she does invisalign braces. What she said upset me so much that I eventually got my teeth straightened. I did not go to her though!

Another comment she said was about the wrinkles on my forehead. She told me to stop frowning or else she she will have to inject some botox into it. I laughed at the time but thought, 'What a bitch!' Guess what - she also does botox and fillers.

So these dentists talking about appearances may be upselling. Beware!

FFS are they selling all the injectables and doing this to make money? That is really grim!

Why’s it ok to comment on other women like that? She shouldn’t be talking about anyone in such a manner nevermind clients to client.

It’s awful thinking about them bitching about someone in such a vulnerable position as that. Wildly unprofessional.

The dentist was also unprofessional fwiw. Mentioning the hot flush was fine but the rest was a bit much.

Yeah I had a similar experience when I was a student nurse many years ago. I was observing bariatric surgery and had gone to the ward to meet the patient beforehand and ask if I could watch, she was so lovely. As soon as she was under, the anaesthetist was making jokes to the person catheterising her about sending a canary in first, I expected the surgeon to say something but it just seemed like it was normal behaviour in that environment. Constant disparaging comments throughout. Disgusting.

Yeah I was comfortable re the hot flush and her own experience of menopause - it’s good we can talk. But comments on another patients appearance, not cool.

I have experienced that too when I was a student ODP. A teenager was in for an op, and the anaesthetist was lovely to him. Really reassured him as the patient was nervous. Patient was talking about what he was studying at uni.
When he was under, the anaesthetist then said he was glad the patient did not "kick off because he is bonkers". I asked what he meant. He said the patient had bipolar.
Another adult patient was very nervous. Had numbing cream on and a cuddly toy. After she was out, comments about how she should grow up.
Also, staff being called from other theatres to gawp at a patients penis or to look at bad tattoos.

I have also heard hairdressers talk shit about clients after they had left too.

I don’t think it is irrelevant. You might have a point if she said who she was talking about but she didn’t.

You said she just said she had aged as a result of not using collagen or supplements. Thats hardly an insult - just an observation.