New neighbour has asked us to stop construction on new home until daughter has finished exams.

[Grammarninja]

This is such a tricky one for me. We bought a house that needed a complete overhaul a year ago. We've finally gotten through architects, planning permission and trying to find affordable builders etc. It has been stressful.
We broke ground this week and the neighbours have asked us to stop until dd has finished her exams in 3 weeks.
I really feel for the family and can't imagine how upsetting it must be for them at this crucial time (we had no idea they had a child sitting exams this summer). My husband has offered them an office at his work around the corner to facilitate study. I wouldn't mind postponing if it wouldn't cost us 30k to do so as builders are working to a set time frame. I wouldn't even mind the extra costs we'd incur through having to stay in our current accommodation for another month if it weren't for the builders' costs which we simply can't afford.
I'm worried now that we're going to start off on a terrible note with our new neighbours which would be such a shame considering my current neighbours are like family.
Are we being unreasonable to continue with the build in these circumstances?

Well you are an adult so your exams aren't your whole life, you don't have teenage hormones to contend with. You live in central London so you enjoy that noise level and are acclimatised to it, if the OP is not in central London then having that level of noise perhaps is unbearable. GCSE's aren't relevant as the OP is in a different country.

I think they do. Sometimes in life, sadly, we are faced with decisions that will have a negative impact on someone, even if it's the best decision overall. It's ok to be upset/sad/angry if you are that person. It doesn't mean that the person who made the decision shouldn't have made it.

OPs decision to continue rather than put off the work on her house, could affect the grades the neighbour's daughter gets, which could affect the rest of her life. I think it's fine to be angry with people who have potentially altered your kid's future opportunities. It doesn't mean she was/is wrong for not doing something perfectly legal that will cost a lot to change, but you can't do something that could alter someone's life and expect that person just to be ok with it.

Office space around the corner is a great solution because she can work there without the distractions of home but can pop home when she needs a rest. Noise cancelling headphones also a kind idea.

We are in similar situation here and DD is going to school to revise.

There's 10 + people on site daily. It's a set fee so it's in their interest to finish on time. Having said that, I don't expect to be in before Christmas.

How's it nasty to point out that that's a long time to not know anything. Obviously, it's in a different country so I wouldn't have a clue and wouldn't have remarked on this if this was revealed at the start of the thread.

Oh give over. “Altering her life” indeed. Some of you people have lost your goddam minds. She’ll have the school, the library, and the offered office to move her pampered arse to and study there. If she stays in the noisy house she is making a
choice not to go somewhere more quiet and the impact on her exams and life chances at that point is on her.

Yup when we did an extension it took about a month or so to find an architect, a few weeks of plans and council approval. Structural engineer then visited and finalised plans. Builders sent plans, waited for them to come back with quotes and site visits. That probably took 3 months. Then we had a 8 month wait for the builder to start. It’s very normal.

I've only read the OP's posts, but the neighbours are seriously taking the piss.

The one that got me was their requirement that the OP would have to consult them on our access lane as the current cover has been providing them with cover and they don't want to lose this as their bikes might rust so 'we'll have to agree on your plans for sheltering this space'.

They will never ever stop. There will always be more and more demands.

Re the revising child - if they don't know it now they'll never know it. 40+ years in secondary teaching.

@Usernamedulychanged " This could ruin her whole future " ? Completely distressed and desperate? ". I can't believe you mean this . FFS Everyone has to live in the REAL world . It's exam time . What kind of future will she have at all if she can't cope with normal activity like building works ? Happens everywhere, even next to hospitals where life saving work goes on .
I despair.

Her grades won’t be impacted. The exams started today. 99% of the studying will be completed and the girl will be out of the house most of this week and next sitting the actual exams. It would have been worse if the builders had started last week when she would have been studying at home or over the Easter holidays.

I don't think that's a very thoughtful attitude. I

Omg this is hilarious 🤣🤣

Just wait until your precious son is at university. He will have to lug his laptop, books and revision notes to the library. He won’t have mummy around for a nice chat. He will have to buy his own stale snacks from a vending machine.

Unless he revises in the comfort of student halls, with paper thin walls and squeaky floors where there is constant noise, music, partying.

Attitudes like yours is why so many young people today have absolutely no resilience.

How do you suggest students get on who don’t live in quiet and supportive environments? Who have younger siblings at home, babies and toddlers crying and making noise. Students who are young carers for their disabled/ill parents? Students who live on inner-city main roads who have constant noise from regular traffic and emergency services. Students who live in west London directly under the flight paths of Heathrow heating hundreds of planes landing and taking off a day.

We need to be teaching our children how to be resilient. How to problem solve. How to find alternatives. How to live in the real world and experience real life situations. Not pander to them. Not expect the rest of world and real life comes to a halt to create some “peace and quiet”.

Good fucking grief, some of you are absolutely fried in the head. The kid can go to the library and revise there or to a mates house or something (or the office that’s been offered). I am hardly made of stone myself and noisy building work is hellish so have some empathy with the situation but some of the replies piling on are absolutely ridiculous - and the OP losing sleep over it is nonsense. The world doesn’t revolve around one child’s exams!

I asked my neighbours to pause renovation work for a couple hours while my DD had her Cambridge interview, but that was it! Ridiculous to expect you to stop. She can go to her school or local library to revise.

Now it feels like it’s one of those threads… and I did put a serious response in, which I now regret. Anyway, it’s all for the greater good, advertising revenue will rise, the website will survive.

Neighbours sound pretty entitled. It was decent of you to offer the office—fortunately you can get Loop earplugs or noise cancelling head phones so I don’t really see the big problem.

Thinking about it a friend had to do urgent works on her roof during her sons a levels she rented an Airbnb for him. I guess they could do that. Or go and stay with relatives if they are local. .I remember getting quite stressed as workmen shouted and had the radio on when I was revising for my finals.

The issue most likely that she wants to sleep in on non-exam days but can’t cos of your noise.

What time are they starting/finishing? Presumably she can revise at school or in the local library?

What you mean the university that you pay thousands to attend, where the 'Library', it's accessibility, it being conducive to studying for a degree is a major selling point! Snacks from a vending machine are hardly a hardship. Why are you making out a uni library to be tough going. If you don't like libraries and studying why would you bother with obtaining a degree

Just ensure the builders don’t play loud music or shout too much. My daughter is doing her alevels and we have building work 2doors down and a neighbour who regularly tinkers with his noisy motorbike. My daughter wears earbuds or earplugs.

No no you can’t find £30 k to solve it. That’s insane!!

Sorry I know this isn’t the point of the thread but what kind of extension are you having which costs £550k ???? Are you have a swimming pool added or something?

@Troubleinare you the neighbour? If you are you’re totally unreasonable. Construction can’t be delayed just because the neighbours’ child has exams. She can revise elsewhere (library). Presumably construction is only between 8-6 M-F and Saturday morning.

It's what building costs around here. We're actually making the house smaller. Knocking down a conservatory and a few other bits. The house was used as student digs before so every inch of it needs to be sorted. Think 9 toilets in what will become a 3 bed house.