New neighbour has asked us to stop construction on new home until daughter has finished exams.

[Grammarninja]

This is such a tricky one for me. We bought a house that needed a complete overhaul a year ago. We've finally gotten through architects, planning permission and trying to find affordable builders etc. It has been stressful.
We broke ground this week and the neighbours have asked us to stop until dd has finished her exams in 3 weeks.
I really feel for the family and can't imagine how upsetting it must be for them at this crucial time (we had no idea they had a child sitting exams this summer). My husband has offered them an office at his work around the corner to facilitate study. I wouldn't mind postponing if it wouldn't cost us 30k to do so as builders are working to a set time frame. I wouldn't even mind the extra costs we'd incur through having to stay in our current accommodation for another month if it weren't for the builders' costs which we simply can't afford.
I'm worried now that we're going to start off on a terrible note with our new neighbours which would be such a shame considering my current neighbours are like family.
Are we being unreasonable to continue with the build in these circumstances?

Im really not missing the point

I dont even know what youre trying to argue anymore

Surely a comprise can be reached ? My DC wouldn't want to leave their home to revise in someone's office ?
My DC need their things around them and watch TV. They are both A star pupils.
It's a shame an entire school career rests on exams which will affect their entire future ?

I hope you can come to an agreement about work noise and time ??

I suggest your dc build some resilience

I think you need to ask yourself why you give this much of a shit. Are you a real people pleaser?

Then their perspective is very skewed, it takes time to deal with architects, planning applications, hiring builders, it's hardly 'faffing around'. The neighbours have been offered alternative space for her to work, the OP and her husband have been more than accommodating.

It started yesterday. They've already demolished the back. Exams started today.

Theyre taking the piss

You brought up university Libraries, suggesting that when someone uses them they will have to sit with others but what's the problem with that when the uni culture in a library is very much a quiet, studious one, very different to the local community centre culture of public Iibraries which are barely even open let alone quiet!

This!

A year is a long time to sort that stuff by anyone's standards.

@Beanosaurus
Is it "entitled " to expect to be able to revise in your own home ?

And have peace and quiet to revise for important exams ?

Hopefully a comprise can be reached

Please suggest this i beg

I am surprised that people would bend to their neighbour’s will to stop works for a 30K loss.

At this stage, anyone studying should be revising too, not learning brand new content. If they haven’t done the work till now, 3 weeks of silence won’t help.

I think just recap OP, there is the options if that office and that noise will be contained over the Monday to Friday bandwidth.

@Sonato thanks. .they have plenty.

No.

yes. learly op WANTS to make this kids life harder, she's specifically waited until this moment and has taken up drumming lessons at 2 am as well just to spite them 🙄🙄

op has clearly said they didn't even know they'd got a kid that age, and they can't afford 30k delay. might be small change to you but not most people.

If it's Leaving Cert there are lots of options -

Public libraries are available, I was in my local library today, free desks for studying,

Her school - all I'm familiar with have school libraries or classrooms open for studying for kids, as the schools are open anyway for exams

Colleges - eg Technical University of Dublin has opened all their libraries, in about six parts of the city, to LC students for studying, and sure to be others around the country doing the same.

And bear in mind that LC tends to be very full on for the first week, with back to back exams, so she won't be at home to hear the building work.

The LC is a big deal, but there are lots of places she can go to study, and you simply can't change your builders slot.

You were obviously very close to your previous neighbour, but these neighbours don't sound like they would be particularly friendly anyway, they sound very entitled and people like that don't usually want to be friends, relationships are transactional for them.

I'm sure you'll make friends with other neighbours, especially as you have young kids. Get them involved in the local GAA and you'll be flying.

op doesn't have a spare 30k.

what do you propose?

But getting a lower attainment now will cost this girl far more than 30 grand over her life ?

Op surely some compromise can be reached

@Grammarninja
Tell your neighbours that if they're prepared to pay you upfront the 30k those 3 weeks of accommodating their daughters "predicament" are going to cost you considering you offered her another place to study then fair enough
You and they know you want and need to finish building and settle in
Salty is not the word

Exactly! Revision does not require exam conditions. A lot more than construction noise has to go wrong to totally mess up your exams. Revision is to consolidate key facts, spot your weaknesses and practise under timed/exam conditions not to learn 2 years worth of knowledge. If a child was to get bad grades and an investigation was done, noise would not be a significant factor.

Must be a huge build at that cost - our small extension plus internal re model rewiring plumbing etc is costing 200k.

Did you give them a rough idea, and discuss plans to mitigate disruption where possible?

Just seen edit that you are in Ireland. Generally in ROI the houses are quite spread out so will the noise be that bad for your neighbour?

Kindly, if you are getting to the point where you say you can't sleep, you need to make a decision whether its that bad for this girl, and you change something to make it less hard on her so you can feel you have done everything you can. Or it's not that bad, and you don't need to change anything. Tying yourself up in knots doesn't help anyone.

I really sympathise with you OP - you sound like a lovely neighbour. But, as PPs have said, DO NOT capitulate to them as it will set a bad precedent.

We’ve lived in a Victorian apartment block in a square for almost 20 years. I’ve been working as a healthcare visitor for six months and the animosity between neighbours in some of the houses I visit regularly is shocking compared to the relationships we have with our own neighbours.

There’s some unspoken rule that people in an apartment block like ours just get on. But go to a street lined with houses just a few feet apart or semi-detached, and the ‘rules’ seem seismically different. It really does seem like your house is your castle and everyone else can just f*ck off!

We’re due to move to similar soon, and I’m sort of dreading it for exactly these reasons!

I wonder how many posters have actually lived next to building work ?
The nose and vibrations are all pervasive it's hard /impossible to live normally with it going on..
That's without life changing exams.

Life goes on, kids take exams every year, kids study in worse conditions than hearing a bit of construction.