AIBU to feel disheartened by the cost of furnishing my first home?

[binocularsgranda]

I am single and live alone. I moved into my house about a year ago and it's my first home so I've had to get everything from scratch. My furniture is a mixture of freebies and things I bought over the months before I bought my house.
Once I have paid regular bills, mortgage etc I have £400 left each month for petrol, food, toiletries, clothes, shoes and parking.
I went for a walk around a home furnishings shop this evening to window shop essentially, not because I was planning to buy anything, just for a look. Even though I hadn't intended to buy anything, I left feeling disheartened. I can't see how I will ever be able to afford even the floor lamp for the living room, bed for the spare room or shelving for the dining room that I need. Yes I can - and will - look online for people giving things away but I think that should be my choice, not my only option because any other route to furnishing my home is simply out of reach. I have very little left over to save each month (and I am frugal - my outgoings are as little as they can be via comparison sites etc). It made me wonder how people afford to go into, for example, Next and buy a sofa. AIBU to feel down about the gap between everyday finances and the prices of necessities? I just want to make my home my own, nothing extravagant.

@darksideofthetoon you are the sort that gives Mumsnet its middle class reputation. ‘Poor and miserable existence’ as you describe it is normal for many, and actually considered pretty posh nowadays if you own the bricks and mortar. If you’ve got that everything else follows as and when.

Jeez I learned about generational inequality from being on the wrong side of that line, but at least the boomers knew how to prioritise back before they got rich.

There is nothing "posh" on owning bricks and mortar if you can't take care of it. I had more leftover after bills in 2008 on NMW!

At the end of the day it doesn't matter what we think of the lifestyle on that little money. Standard, poor, whatever.
What matters imho the most is that bank lent someone with high outgoings compared to their salary, essentially rendering them not being able to take care of that house which may really reult in value loss and repossession, and if it was any other loan than mortage, everyone would be outraged.

That's terrible advice for someone who has £400 a month after the mortgage for all other expenses.

Buy cheap / second hand and replace when you can afford it. Don't get into debt and commit yourself to big monthly payments. You'll be miserable.

Perhaps you misunderstand my post: I’m not criticising the OP. She’s doing what she feels is best. I’m pointing out the numbers and the reality involved.

It is a sad reflection of where we are now that, for some to buy a property, they are reduced to living off a few hundred quid a month. Look at my numbers breakdown and tell me that isn’t a miserable way to live.

Huge well done for getting on the housing market. It’s a brilliant achievement.

My first house at the age of 26 was full of second hand stuff and hand me downs from other people, along with few bits from IKEA. It’s completely normal. It was only when I bought my second house, 10 years later, that I could use some of the equity to buy new stuff.

Big difference - there was no social media and Instagrammable houses being rammed down my throat to make me feel that I should have all the latest trends and get myself into debt to do it.

My friends and I were just delighted to get on the housing ladder.

It’s not a sad reflection of modern life that she only has a few hundred left

it’s a sad reflection of life through the ages and across every continent that most people don’t have enough even for the basics - which is food and a safe place to live. And even in the Uk most people alive today didn’t have the money to buy a home on their own or furnish it from new

it’s an even sadder reflection that many younger people today are completely unaware of what is “normal “ life for people

one of my pet hates is people seeing what someone has gathered over 80 years and complaining that they don’t have all that at 22

The Heart Foundation shop where I live has amazing furniture! I was passing the other day and saw some people loading a pair of cream sofas into a van. They were absolutely spotless and looked brand new.

I left home in 1975 and didn't have a single item of new furniture or large electrical appliances until 1991. You can get some amazing bargains, not just from charity shops etc but local small ads, cards in shop windows etc.

my neighbour furnished his place totally from freecycle and similar websites and even got a sink unit as someone was getting anew kitchen sorted. We donate to our British heart foundation furniture store and they do have long lasting furniture there. We gave our telly to them as we needed to get one which didn't need an aerial outside. I am always pleased that people can get furniture without spending a lot of money.

When people talk about their disposable income and put clothes and toiletries- some toiletries will last one person longer than a month and you definitely don’t need clothes and shoes every month. Maybe if uou cut down on unnecessary expenditure you can save quicker

Don't buy new!

Facebook, eBay, a couple of charities run special shops for larger items, all are full of perfectly good furniture that people are passing on.

Save up for the special stuff later.

We are in our 50s and I still bargain hunt and up cycle by painting units over an over depending on my decor, we have a chest of draws we bought from a pine warehouse 25 years ago, it’s had a variety of different knobs and colors over the years current green! That will be with us forever!

I could afford to buy new now and still won’t!

@binocularsgranda I see this as a mindset issue more than anything. Are you generally a glass half empty person?
It's hugely positive that you have achieved buying your own home. It's very typical to have minimal money left over and it's never been easier to source preloved essentials. That's a glass half full mindset.
Congratulations on what you've achieved and please do take joy from that rather than dwell on what you can't have just yet.

Charity shops. Facebook market place. Local Facebook free pages. People give loads of things away

But you can’t get a coffee, bottle of wine or a meal out on market place. Or for that matter, underwear or cover for an unexpected dental bill or car bill.

It's very commendable to be able to get a mortgage and run a house on your own these days. We're well into paying down our second house now (bought in 2008 just before the crash age 23) but honestly - I have never been in a position to do it on my salary and until about 3 years ago neither was DH. I don't think it's ever been "easy" alone unless you're in the fortunate position of someone like my single friend who has a nationally set teaching salary in a very cheap area.

Try your local auction, they’ll have some interesting stuff and if they do chattels (most small auction houses do) then you’ll be amazed what vintage furniture and other things you can get for very little. You don’t even need to bid in person, you can do a silent bid in advance of the sale if you ask their office.

Yeah thays fair, but She has not said she works full time. Or even has the same job she had a year ago, nor has she said what her regular bills comprise of,

it’s very unlikely a bank left her with 400. So the question is why does she. Did she reduce her working hours, change job. Something changed.

but again for me it’s the very odd she feels it should be a choice to buy new, which is just odd. Like she’s entitled to new stuff no matter how much she earns, she should just be able to access it.

Um what?

There is no way a year ago any bank passed her on affordability checks for 400 left a month, so something is missing from this story. If this interest rates go up she’s fucked,

I'm mid 60s and still get secondhand bits here and there. Always have done. Often new stuff is secondhand.

The point is that FB market place and freebies can only do so much. A decent life cannot be achieved with this alone. One is going to need hard cash for certain things and 400 quid per month ain’t gonna cut it.

OP is specifically asking about the cost of buying furniture, not coffee

Here is a quote from her AIBU:

“AIBU to feel down about the gap between everyday finances and the prices of necessities?”

Necessities like furniture

But she’s already stated that she’s bought furniture so anything else is surplus. Regardless, hard to argue that furniture is more of a necessity then say an emergency dental procedure or a car repair. 400 quid isn’t much to play with.