AIBU to feel disheartened by the cost of furnishing my first home?

[binocularsgranda]

I am single and live alone. I moved into my house about a year ago and it's my first home so I've had to get everything from scratch. My furniture is a mixture of freebies and things I bought over the months before I bought my house.
Once I have paid regular bills, mortgage etc I have £400 left each month for petrol, food, toiletries, clothes, shoes and parking.
I went for a walk around a home furnishings shop this evening to window shop essentially, not because I was planning to buy anything, just for a look. Even though I hadn't intended to buy anything, I left feeling disheartened. I can't see how I will ever be able to afford even the floor lamp for the living room, bed for the spare room or shelving for the dining room that I need. Yes I can - and will - look online for people giving things away but I think that should be my choice, not my only option because any other route to furnishing my home is simply out of reach. I have very little left over to save each month (and I am frugal - my outgoings are as little as they can be via comparison sites etc). It made me wonder how people afford to go into, for example, Next and buy a sofa. AIBU to feel down about the gap between everyday finances and the prices of necessities? I just want to make my home my own, nothing extravagant.

Goodness please do NOT buy furniture on finance. FFS what stupid pills are people on.

Give yourself some grace, you are just starting out. Get yourself onto Gumtree, Marketplace etc. Ask around friends or at work as often people are getting rid of things. Summer sales are on - check the sales and clearance of Argos and Dunelm which often do very good deals on things like lamps and furnishings in the sale.

Enjoy your new place😊

My DIL upcycles using marketplace or charity shop. She bought an oak tea trolley today. That's being upcycled. Cost her £1.

I am almost 50 years old, been married for 30 years.

Just this year I bought the sofa I have always wanted.

The coffee table that sits in front of it is the same freebie I got 30 years ago.

Picked up bits and pieces as we went along. Just get what you need for now, and if you can get it free/secondhand do that.

Don't put pressure on yourself to meet/buy some 'ideal' set up.

Dh slept on a blow up mattress on the floor for 6 months till he could afford to buy a bed for his first flat - that was 30 years ago.. so nothing’s changed. I just filled mine with unfashionable brown furniture and slowly renovated or upgraded. It’s not a new thing….

Well done buying a place - recognise your achievements.

We came back to the UK 10 years ago in our mid-40s, bought a lovely big flat in a desirable area and had no money left. All our furniture was off freecycle, Gumtree or local furniture charity shops (we bought new mattresses and bedding). Over the next 2 years we found and bought more of what we preferred and passed on what we no longer needed through freecycle. It is possible to make do with what you need for a while and buy what you want over time to get your place exactly as you’d like it.

My first place the only thing I bought new was a divan bed and ikea sofa. Everything else was given, bought second hand (my fridge and TV were second hand too) or borrowed. Auction houses can be a good source.

Ive had several sofas in good condition off FB marketplace for about 40 quid. I get ikea ones with removable, washable covers. I wash them and put throws on them. Please don't get one on credit. FB is great for loads of things. Car boot sales. Charity shops.

My first flat (20 odd years ago) had my bed, and a dining chair, it took me years to furnish it properly. I think I had about 2 forks, 2 knives and 2 plates for months before I could afford to buy anything - even buying a new coffee mug was out of reach.

Even now most of my furniture is second hand or been up cycled…the kids have had new bed frames and mattresses but that’s about it, and I could probably justify buying new I just don’t want to - but I’ve always been that way.

My sofas are from Facebook marketplace (Laura Ashley) one was free the other was £20, both in fantastic condition - all my previous ones have been ebay or facebook ones (small kids and dogs - now bigger kids/teens and dogs)

My Welsh dresser was a freebie which I spent a few weekends sanding and painting. My bed frame was seconds as it had a bolts missing so cost peanuts compared to brand new.

Dh and I like nice belongings but we don’t pay silly money for stuff and our house looks lovely (so I’ve been told) when I decide I want to change things I look for new throws or paint a wall a different colour.

Do not finace anything…debt for a sofa when you have such little disposable income it’s not a priority. Check Facebook from the end of October people buy new sofa for Christmas delivery and you can get some real bargains from then on.

Think it's totally normal to furnish your first home with second hand furniture. In my first flat had a bed from my gran, dining table and bedroom furniture from my mam, fridge freezer from my dad etc. My second place was similar. Got my own house now but still got some of those items mainly in the guest bedroom as it's perfectly fine for a room that's rarely used.

The other furniture we replaced gradually but none was bought on credit. Just get something temporary from Facebook marketplace and replace it further down the line when the budget allows. Also if its your birthday or Christmas ask for money towards a lamp if that's what you want. Also shop around, Next is expensive and so are places like Furniture Village. Dunelm is great for slightly cheaper furniture and supermarkets decor is too.

Also don't go into debt for it or spend every penny. Better to have money leftover for savings than have all your furniture sorted.

My first home had almost nothing, no carpets, no heating. Would you believe it we got burgled. Took all of my jewellery. The insurance cheque bought our furniture and new kitchen.

Many of us got our first sofa & bed on finance. These two things are important - you need somewhere nice to sit in your home and a decent quality mattress with a bedframe. Don’t overstretch but go for something that will last.

Everything that isn’t fabric …. FB market place, recycle centre, hand me downs. I have some amazing second hand chest of drawers, mirrors, a wardrobe (that I got from the tip!!). Charity furniture shops seem to be ridiculously expensive round here.

Don’t feel bad for financing the things that are most important for you and don’t feel bad having second hand stuff… or an empty space where something will go in the future when the time is right.

Well done on securing a mortgage on your own @binocularsgranda that's a great achievement.

When we bought our first house back in 2005 we were lucky to get a 100% mortgage. We didn't have a pot to piss in 🤣. My grandparents 'conveniently' purchased a new sofa, and so we inherited their old one. It wasn't the first or last time they helped us, bless them.

We then bought a beautiful 3-seater sofa and cuddle chair a few years later on 0% finance. It was about 2K. We've only ever had rescue dogs and only one at a time. Between them all, they destroyed it. We now have a £50 find from marketplace, because we will always have a rescue dog.

We have a lovely home and quite a bit of land, but we also don't have lovely new and expensive furniture, and probably never will, but we are more than happy.

Well done again.

You should be proud to be on the property ladder solo x
if I were you I’d keep looking and sourcing items off free cycle / fb but go to places like tk maxx for new fun items to jazz the place up and make it feel like yours without breaking the bank

Primark home also has some gorgeous stuff these days

Oh crikey, this brings back memories of 30 years ago. I moved into my first home in my very early 20s, no furniture at all, just a few bits that I'd managed to salvage from my uni years. We had a tiny portable TV and a couple of camping chairs for the first 9 months. Everything else was second/third hand, including my bed. Eventually I saved up enough for 2 bog standard IKEA sofas (bought in 96, I'm only getting rid of them now, they were well worth the money). Please don't buy anything on finance, just see what else is available on Freecycle etc. We all started like this, please don't think that what you see on Instagram/social media is the norm.

Facebook marketplace and car boot sales are your friend. If you’re patient you will find what you want.
Find social media accounts which feature people who are into sustainability/second hand furnishings and decor. There so much amazing stuff out there ☺️☺️

Why?

I thought this was what most of us did. We bought our first home 25 years ago (a two bedroom flat). (Nearly!) everything we had was second hand - bought at the second hand shop, or passed on by friends and family - except for the two bean bags we sat on in our living room which cost £15 each from Argos 😁 I look back now, and it was all part of the fun. We saved and saved, and it was a long time before we bought our own new furniture. It certainly didn’t do us harm.

Apart from the tech and white goods I have nothing "new" in my house in the furniture line. All my furniture is from auctions, car boots, antique sales or inherited from my grandmother. Most of it is Victorian or Edwardian and incredibly good quality compared with what is in the shops. Some of my auction house purchases were incredible value for what I paid. I would not give house room to most of what is in the shops. No prizes for guessing that I also deal in antiques.

We have an amazing place near us, the lady does house clearances and sells stuff on. I've had two tables off her for £10 each that I've painted and a couple of enormous mirrors for £20 each. Can you find something like that locally?
This is the third house I've owned but I couldn't and wouldn't expect to furnish it throughout with brand new furniture! My bed and bedside tables are nearly 20 years old....I'm 42 and will probably have them when I'm 62!

When you come to remortgage in a few years time, lenders will look at debts / loans for sofas etc, and klarna. You’ve done really well getting to this stage, so don’t put yourself in a position where you might not be able to borrow again. I have savings put by that could easily buy a new sofa but very happy with my second hand one from a neighbour. If I didn’t have savings I would consider a loan for a new boiler or something else that is essential but not furniture. The neighbours I bought the sofa from can’t afford to buy a house as they have too much debt - they do have lovely new expensive sofas though !

That's how we all started. Things were given, secondhand, and saved up for over months.

i think second hand would be rewarding
looking at what you have managed to source at a reasonable price is satisfying

DH and I are in our 50s and have a high income and I still buy second hand furniture and decorative items for the house. Of course, on our income we call it antique or vintage and quote Patsy Stone 'One should never be the oldest thing in one's house' 😉.

When we bought our first house we bought an IKEA Klippan sofa, a bed and white goods. Everything else was inherited or hand me downs or bought on ebay. Nowadays it's even easier to buy second hand via car boot sales, FBMP, auction sites, Vinterior (it advertises itself using the expensive MCM stuff but there's cheaper stuff on there as well and the search engine is excellent so use that to find what you want then look on ebay for the exact same item so you pay lower fees), gumtree, ebay etc etc. You don't need to have a cobbled together look, mix your eras and style in a modern way. And that way you won't end up with a dated-looking house like you would if you bought into a single asthetic (e.g. millenial grey or sad beige).

Completely agree with this. It took us years to do things like buy new sofas, have a brand new bed etc etc. For many years we had second hand, hand me downs. You’ll get there!