AIBU to feel disheartened by the cost of furnishing my first home?

[binocularsgranda]

I am single and live alone. I moved into my house about a year ago and it's my first home so I've had to get everything from scratch. My furniture is a mixture of freebies and things I bought over the months before I bought my house.
Once I have paid regular bills, mortgage etc I have £400 left each month for petrol, food, toiletries, clothes, shoes and parking.
I went for a walk around a home furnishings shop this evening to window shop essentially, not because I was planning to buy anything, just for a look. Even though I hadn't intended to buy anything, I left feeling disheartened. I can't see how I will ever be able to afford even the floor lamp for the living room, bed for the spare room or shelving for the dining room that I need. Yes I can - and will - look online for people giving things away but I think that should be my choice, not my only option because any other route to furnishing my home is simply out of reach. I have very little left over to save each month (and I am frugal - my outgoings are as little as they can be via comparison sites etc). It made me wonder how people afford to go into, for example, Next and buy a sofa. AIBU to feel down about the gap between everyday finances and the prices of necessities? I just want to make my home my own, nothing extravagant.

Congratulations on buying your first house. Bricks and mortar will last longer than any sofa but I do understand the wish to make everything nice and matchy.
In order of importance (assuming you have a functional cooker, sink and bathroom) I’d put
Bed and new mattress
Washing machine
Table and chair(s)

Our current kitchen was cobbled together from IKEA’s bottom of the range KNOXHULT. We expected it to last about 5 years and it’s still going strong 11 years later. Built-in appliances are double the price of free-standing so we used a 2-ring mobile induction hob and built a KNOXHULT around the DW and WM.
Storage for clothes and books isn’t a top priority IMO. A rail between 2 walls and a second hand chest of drawers will do.
DIY superstores (not furniture warehouse ripoff places) have lots of good ideas. One simple white Argos bookcase has gone from sitting room to office to kid’s bedroom to garage in our different house moves. We only started buying “good” furniture in our 40s.

Those umbrella-style camping chairs are actually v.comfortable and you can keep them for guests later on. Some people prefer armchairs. A cheap or second hand sofa is a risk. Even expensive ones need research. Head support is vital for us and washable covers AND armrests you can nap on….

So don’t despair! Buy some nice bed and bath linen and start collecting your “forever and today” dinner service. Cover bare light fittings with paper globes and enjoy planning your future with a secure roof over your head🥰.

Because you can get very good used sofas for free or for very little money.

Do not buy new furniture or furnishings. You can buy a set of 6 Victorian dining chairs for £80 - why pay that for one at world of modern wood? Get onto eBay , auction houses etc

I was 43 before I bought two settees because I liked the way they were rather than that was what was free. They were still second hand. Everything pretty much in my house is secondhand or from freecycle. A (very) small inheritance paid for my four matching bookcases. There's nothing wrong with window shopping but there's a great sense of achievement in putting together a lovely home on a shoestring.

I don’t see the problem, this is how everybody starts! There are lots of videos on YouTube where people decorate on a budget, and lots of good tips on this thread. You just need to be a bit creative.

I just buy second hand, it takes time and perseverance- but I’ve paid £20 for a sofa that was over £2000 new and then paid £80 to get it moved

I spent the rest of the £1900+ savings on 3 holidays

i go to auctions on a Thursday and look at market place and eBay. I do search for what I want so it is fitting in

fridge freezer, dinning table and chairs, sofa, rugs, lamp stand, chairs, chest of draws, garden furniture all second hand

my priority is holidays, not new furniture and I get everyone is different

I didn’t get a sofa for my first house, I had two ikea chairs and mostly spent time on my bed. When I got my second house I’d saved some money and also used some of the equity to furnish it better than the first one. I really appreciate my sofa now. Your finances are really tight though.

YANBU OP. I’ve been in my home for about 14 years and we still have most of the second hand furniture we’d bought as “temporary” pieces until we could afford to replace it with new.
New furniture is very expensive and I actually find I certain places, like Next, no longer great quality. They seem to now use veneer instead of real wood finishes.
I do often look at other people’s homes which are beautifully styled and furnished with lovely pieces that have clearly been bought to suit the space rather than just whatever was available on marketplace and I do actually feel embarrassed sometimes but we refuse to get ourselves into debt for a sofa/dining table. Given the first response was to tell you to buy stuff with Klarna, you can see how many people do it.

Furniture is so expensive. I’m married and in my 40s, I earn an average salary, DH is a higher earner. We’ve just got a new sofa last week after 3 years of saving up for it. The rest of our living room furniture is still with us from 2 houses and 15 years ago.
You’ve done amazingly well to buy by yourself, I don’t think I could ever have managed that.
Instagram shows everyone having perfect homes but I don’t think that’s real life, especially not with the current COL.

It's 38 years since I moved into my first home. In that time I think the only piece of furniture we have bought new is our bed. We often look around and laugh about how virtually everything is either 2nd hand or came free, much of it is stuff relatives who are no longer with us passed on, I like the connection it gives me to their memory. I still often wander round a charity furniture shop to see if there is anything I fancy, it puzzles me why people pay high prices for soulless new stuff but I'm glad they do as it leaves the cheaper more interesting finds for me. Although in earlier years I did this for financial reasons I am now at a stage when I could afford new but I genuinely don't want it.

I bought my house on my own and couldn't afford to fully furnish it - got my first sofa (which I've now had for 7 years) from a charity shop and in all honesty, my living room still is not fully furnished, and my second bedroom only got furnished last year. It takes time, and I didn't want to finance furniture so I've been buying bits and pieces over time. Ypu have to let go of the perfectly presented homes you see on social media and accept that you have to get creative within your resources. Enjoy your new home, and allow the process to take time.

Yabvu to think that you should be able to furnish your first home with all-new items in one foul swoop.

Why do you need a spare bed straightaway?

"Yes I can - and will - look online for people giving things away but I think that should be my choice, not my only option because any other route to furnishing my home is simply out of reach"

This is an unusual thought. It is very rare to buy a house and then be able to furnish it brand new. It is much more normal to furnish it with what you can afford/freebies, and then over time replace items with something you have saved for. We started with some sofas bought from PIL's neighbours for £100. They did the job fine for a few years and when I was earning a bit more I thoroughly enjoyed choosing my own sofas to replace them. For what it's worth, I think a home looks far more "homey" when it includes a mix of old and new things rather than everything brand new.

Maybe start a specific savings pot for the house and put a little aside each month so you can start to buy special things - the lamp is a good first goal as I wouldn't go for freebie electrical items.

As per many pps , second hand furniture is cheap and often very good quality. We have a couple of large charity repositories within a few miles.They only accept functional items so consequently one can get decent furniture without risk. Like many others we bought second hand and accepted gifts when we were setting up home.This is quite normal.One gets better furniture for less money and it is sustainable.My young people have felt the same when starting out.one other co thought is to browse general sales at auction houses, we have cleared three houses in the last few years and lovely furniture can be picked up for a song if you have the time to buy things this way.Save buying new for when you have the money and for something that you love and will last for many years.

“I think that should be my choice, not my only option because any other route to furnishing my home is simply out of reach”

Thus “should” is strange. Why “should” you be able to afford things that your salary will not stretch to?

the lamp is a good first goal as I wouldn't go for freebie electrical items.

There are tutorials on youtube how to rewire a lamp, it's not particularly tricky. That said, I agree, the only new things you should buy are those that will be able to follow you to your next house so things that are likely to fit in any house, lamps and stools/side tables. Not the big things that may not fit in the next place.

Also, if you look at the nicest houses on instagram they are all full of second hand things. Admittedly very nice second hand things but the point remains, the way to get a beautiful house is to have a mix of new and old. The dated ugly houses everyone loves to hate are those where people have decorated in a cheap but very fashionable way all at once.

We've owned our flat for 11 years and just this week we are replacing the elderly brown carpet and blackout blind in the main bedroom that was left by the previous owner.

Furniture has definitely been an incremental thing. My bedside table is an upcycled IKEA blanket box, our sofa is a really good quality one I got 15 years for £100 from a frinds brother whose new wife didn't like the (deep aubergine purple) colour. The hall way storage unit is a one I made myself out of two wooden boxes my partner had in his old flat, our chairs are from a junk shop.

We have some new stuff but it has been bought over the years.

I wouldn't necessarily rule out buying an electrical item 'secondhand'. I've certainly sold online for a fraction of the original cost bedside lamps and over-mirror bathroom lighting which are unused and in the original packaging because they weren't right and I was too disorganised to return them in time.

There's also a Paint Reuse Network here (don't know if it exists in the UK, but worth a google) where people offer leftover paint for free. Here the depots are usually in a community enterprise centre or a recycling centre. Friends have got a lot of paint from them for free or a small donation. I've also sold for a fraction of their cost very beautiful leftover Italian bathroom tiles.

You included clothes and shoes in your monthly budget but you don't need to buy those every month. Really have a think about what you 'need' and then tough it out for a few months living on only the absolute essentials. How many car trips do you 'need' to make? That kind of thing. It will be hard but you can do it. Ebay, Vinted, and DIY.com are your best bets. The latter in particular, which stocks a shocking range of good home items.

FB marketplace often has people giving stuff away for free.

I get we live in a developed world and were raised to feel entitled to a nice home with nice furnishings but we might need to adjust our expectations and get on with it.

I know too many people who buy a house and then struggle to kit it out properly, but that's because they refuse to get into debt (any further than needed). Let's say you buy all those things you want and then a war breaks out in this country - will you care about the lamp you bought? And what happens if someone occupies the land and confiscates your house? Bigger things to worry about.. just trying to help you gain perspective in case it takes your mind off things(!) I do empathise a lot, just isn't much we can do, the state of the country as it is.

Get a lodger in the spare room and a weekend/evening job if you can. A year of that will be enough to furnish the house.

Unfortunately its seems to late to say budget for everything before you buy. You just have to suck it up, I'm afraid. As harsh as that spunds, 7 years in my home and not a single curtain to be seen. Budgeted for other things amd, well tĥen more important always seem to pop aĥead. Don't forget though, what you've already accomplished. Huge achievement buying your own home. Enjoy it and don't look at the grass across the road.

Please do not use credit or Klarna. Just buy a few bits each month as you need them. There is no rush and so long as you have the essentials, other bits can wait. I feel like social media has a lot to blame and everyone wants a certain ‘aesthetic’. Definitely check out FB Marketplace. Well done on buying your new home alone, that’s a huge achievement.

I'm just refurbishing my home, a new mattress for my bed, new bed & mattress for ds old room, new bedside tables for mine, a 3+2 set of sofas, sideboard, book case, tv unit & side tables, new lamps & accessories, new TV & then new kitchen appliances, washer, dryer, fridge freezer, dishwasher, oven & hobs, it's added up to nearly £12k & that's before decorating, new carpets, curtains & blinds. I can only afford it because I have had an inheritance from my parents, my current stuff is what I salvaged from my marriage & what I got when I got divorced 16 years ago, it all looks tired & worn out.

Finance. Dfs do sofas with 4 years interest free credit

Second hand. That's what we did.