AIBU to think dismissal during probation was unfair given autism adjustments?

[SereneRoseRobin]

I’m looking for honest views because I’m not sure whether I’m being unreasonable or whether this was genuinely unfair.

I was recently dismissed from a graduate/analyst role after my probation was extended. I am autistic, and my employer knew this. I had raised the need for clear written instructions, defined objectives, examples of similar work, timelines, and timely/direct feedback. Some support was put in place, including coaching, but I don’t feel the actual adjustments were properly embedded or reviewed before the decision was made.

The difficult part is that the concerns raised about me seemed mainly to focus on communication style, professional behaviour, asking for clarification, Teams messages, and quality assurance under pressure — rather than on whether I could actually do the analytical work. Some recent written feedback said my analytical skills were good, that my work did not contain relevant errors, that I was taking ownership, and that I sought support appropriately. Another person said I had picked up on a complex project well.

The project I was criticised on was not straightforward. I was a first-year graduate with no prior experience in that sector, and I was assigned open-ended/data-heavy modelling work with a lot of ambiguity and short deadlines. Some outputs were expected within hours or by the next day, so there was not much time for structured review. I also didn’t always get timely feedback while I could still act on it. Some feedback came months after the work had ended.
My probation extension was meant to allow support and coaching to take effect, but I was dismissed before the extension period had fully ended. I had submitted evidence of improvement the day before the decision, but I don’t feel it was properly discussed or considered.
The coaching report apparently said the benefit of coaching should be assessed after a longer period, because performance can dip while new strategies embed.

I’m appealing because I think they didn’t properly separate disability-related communication issues from actual capability, didn’t give recent improvement enough weight, and didn’t consider alternatives such as letting the extension run, providing clearer QA/communication frameworks, assigning more standard analyst work, or redeploying me to a more suitable team.

I’m not saying I was perfect. I know there were areas to improve. But I feel like I was assessed against unclear expectations, on complex work, without the timely feedback and structure that had already been identified as necessary for me.

AIBU to think this was unfair and potentially linked to disability discrimination/failure to make reasonable adjustments? Or is this just how probation works, and I should accept it and move on?

This is just one example of the shocking levels of discrimination on here.

Sorry there are a gazillion grads out there looking for jobs, why would anyone want anyone in their team that creates so much extra work for them

Because employers and society at large need to accommodate diversity and consider that people with neuro diverse conditions such as autism are human beings having to survive and adapt in a world of neuro typical people. Your assertion "why would anyone want anyone on their team that creates so much extra work for them" is a disgusting and dehumanising thing to say.

It could be both.

I have had to leave a meeting in the past - external folk and I didn’t want to take the risk. Plus it’s easy to say anonymously but it’s harder face to face.

im sure there’s people like me in every big org - I worked somewhere else where there was a young woman who had family trying to trace her and our security were made aware.

I wonder how gracious the OP would be if the positions were reversed and she had been the one recorded without permission.

I doubt she'd be satisfied with honest mistake, won't do it again.

Not quite true if the reason for termination is discriminatory as those rights (disability, pregnancy etc) start on day 1. However it seems ops dismissal was unrelated to their nd or failure to provide their suggested “reasonable adjustments. These are issues about breaches of conduct and policy which taken with less than ideal progress during probation left the employer with little alternative.

It sounds like this probably isn’t the right environment for you. Consulting involves complex projects and tight deadlines. There’s a limit to how much hand holding you can receive - it’s hard to know whether you got the sufficient coaching/ feedback that you deserved or whether you expected too much.

How is it dehumanising?

Newsflash, businesses aren't there for social good, they're there to make a profit.

I work in job with a fairly high neurodiverse workforce and where there is a lot of flexibility and reasonable adjustments. However, there's still professional standards wrt conduct and communications to be met. I think unless the OP reflects on what has gone wrong and her part in it, and tries to remedy that by learning some strategies, then she is likely to find similar struggles in future employment.

I always feel very uneasy when someone posts on fb pages along the lines of I'm looking for so and so, does anyone know them. It could be entirely innocent but it could be putting someone in danger when people reply. (I'm also amazed people still think it's ok to reply / allow those sort of posts).

The OP doesn't sound like she's making any effort to 'adapt in a world of neuro typical people' though - nearly nine months into the job and she's still looking for a huge amount of support and feedback.

She has had significant accommodations, but won't apologise to the colleague she recorded, as she believes she should have been able to. We all of us have to curb our natural impusles in the workplace, and try to play nicely. OP sounds as if she believes this doesn't apply to her.

She's unsuitable for her role, and repeatedly asking for advice on MN isn't going to change that. She can of course bring a discrimination case, or she could look for a job that suits her better, and try to understand the social norms of the next workplace.

Yip. Im not on any social media that identifies me now it’s too risky.

For what's it's worth either you are really not competent to do the job, or the workplace's desire to support you was non-existent and their attitude towards you was shockingly horrible and broke discrimination law. While in one sense, if it's the latter, they should be punished, have you really got the desire to do anything about it? I'd honestly look for a job you can do, in a place with kind people who abide by the law.

But it is not unfair discrimination to say that some adjustments needed are beyond what can be accommodated. I agree employers have to do what they can to support people, and that everyone benefits from supporting diversity in the workplace. But there comes a point when what is needed is beyond what is possible- which is why the term is reasonable adjustments, and not just adjustments. Unfortunately I think that we have a lot of people interpreting this directive as having whatever they think they need. As PP have pointed out, work is not like school or uni and it will never accommodate people in the same way. Nor should it be expected to.

If you have a job which includes a customer facing component and you struggle with this, it might be possible to adjust this by removing that part of the job. If the whole role is customer facing, then its not dehumanizing to say it's not a good fit and you cant do this job.

People with neurodiversity are human beings and are entitled to be given meaningful work they can survive on.

HOWEVER no one is entitled to any particular job. I agree with the previous poster who said this is the consequence of endless and excessive adjustments being given in school and university. I know of several autistic students who were keen to become surgeons. They were given reasonable adjustments, but difficult conversations had to be had about the realities of the job. Being a surgeon is messy and chaotic, and you need high levels of resilience and stress tolerance, as well as good people skills. No one has the right to become a surgeon, and it's not realistic if people cannot cope with high-pressure environments and chaos. Patients won't make reasonable adjustments to a surgeon who cannot communicate effectively, or needs a mental health break mid surgery. That isn't ableist to say, it's realistic. Saying to people with neurodiversity: you can do whatever you want and if you find it too difficult it is your employer's job to make it easy for you no matter the expense or unfeasibility, is unfair. Sometimes people need to be told: no you aren't good at this, you need to do something else.

Definitely this.

This doesn’t explain specifically why you did not apologise. I am presuming the bit you didn’t state is “because […..] and therefore I don’t believe I did anything wrong”. That’s an issue.

I'm sorry, OP to hear what you're going through. It's so hard to find - and keep - a job as an autistic person. I know the feeling only too well and whilst I do get in some jobs there's only so many adjustments that can be reasonably made, we can't be expected to go through it all over and over just get another job, sometimes it's not possible. Often settling for low paid work like I've done over life doesn't help either, no one seems to want an autistic person at work, really and when people finally give in after being let go from jobs and try to have the help of benefits, it's becomes a problem there too as people are just lazy, aren't they and don't deserve support? They don't want us slowing them down at work but they don't want to use any of their taxes to help, either relative to being the tax payer. People are ableist as fuck and would rather us starve and die, sadly :( Fuck adults who struggle to make a living, as a society over it we are hated x

And how do you fancy doing half of someone else's workload for them, without any commensurate increase in your own pay? Think carefully, because this is something I actually end up doing in my own role because my company employs lazy bastards due to lack of quality applicants, and I get resentful as hell about it.

I persevere with that workload because I am in a role that is vocational for me, so my passion is easily exploited. (Also, my manager is aware and buys me chocolate when I have been left in the shit!) Most people work to live, not live to work, and that's a good thing.

The only way forced inclusion can work is if you make it legal to pay disabled people less, and pay their colleagues more. It's a fact generally acknowledged in my workplace that I specifically deserve to be paid more, so maybe this will work out for me. But honestly, I think it will be more detrimental to disabled people's rights than the situation we have.

I'm sorry you have had a difficult time.

I don't think autistic people are hated. What I do think is that some jobs really require or value skills that autistic people find difficult. Communication skills, ability to change plan quickly and think on your feet, ability to anticipate problems or read a room. Other jobs, such as academia, really value skills that autistic people (generalising here) are more likely to have, like attention to detail and ability to focus.

I think part of the issue is that some of the jobs that we value more in society and thus give more status and pay to, need the first set of skills. And neurodiverse people want them for those benefits understandably, and go for those jobs, when they are in reality not a very good fit. And it can be hard for people to accept lower status and pay in a job that better matches their skills, especially if they were high achieving in school, which is a much more structured and forgiving environment.

Civil service would honestly be a better fit I think or look for companies where they pay attention to diversity. As pp said, unless this is addressed by you then you’ll come up with this time and time again and fail probation and end up not being employable.

Bring ND in a professional environment is difficult.i have both Autism and ADHD (although I didn’t know this through much of my career so certainly no adjustments). Whilst a work place has to make reasonable adjustments, these need to be reasonable for the work environment - you need to take responsibility- did you use auto dictation for when people gave you verbal instructions, people hace their own pressures which means they might not be able to prioritise your needs.

You need to work out how to help yourself in the work place. It’s always going to be less than perfect. IME people are more likely to help you if they see you trying to help yourself. A business is there to make money, not act as a support network. I get how hard it is, I really do. You’re in a situation where the systems are nonsense, where people act in completely bizarre ways, where you’re made to do things that are pointless in ways that aren’t effective. People put more value on your ability to ask about their family than on doing the actual work. You need to work out what matters in the work place and how to work with it, then you need to work out your capacity to mask to that extent. Despite what the graduate brochures say they don’t want your whole self at work.

I understand why you’re writing multiple threads, you’re trying to get peoples views on situations which don’t make sense, that’s how many ND minds work in navigating social complexities - mimic what others say. But social media isn’t good for finding thst kind of input because people say things and react in ways they wouldn’t in real life.

Look at getting help from a counselor who specialises in work and ND, someone who can help you with some coping mechanisms.

it’s hard, so hard. Remember you have great skills, things others find hard you can probably do very easily but you need some help navigating the social complexities and practicals of the work place. MN is not the place for assistance ND is not understood by the majority of posters and many are extreme judgemental and down right nasty when it comes to dealing with many of the traits of being ND.

Good luck

But autistic people aren’t lazy - so why are you conflating the two?

The counsellor idea is a great idea and would be a good investment.

So how does being autistic immune someome from being lazy?

This is part of your problem

Unfortunately much of what you say is true. There was a thread earlier about someone’s child being thrown out their uni house because they were autistic and people didn’t want to live with them.

ND people have many skills, but with increasingly rigid work practices ND people are finding work increasingly difficult. Like you say, what do people want, they don’t want to work with ND people and they don’t want us claiming benefits. What are we to do?

im always saddened when I see on MN people judging ND people. It can make you feel worthless. Then I think fuck then they’re nasty cunts and actually I’m a hell of a lot better than them, their views on me are worthless.