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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think dismissal during probation was unfair given autism adjustments?

585 replies

SereneRoseRobin · 03/06/2026 15:37

I’m looking for honest views because I’m not sure whether I’m being unreasonable or whether this was genuinely unfair.

I was recently dismissed from a graduate/analyst role after my probation was extended. I am autistic, and my employer knew this. I had raised the need for clear written instructions, defined objectives, examples of similar work, timelines, and timely/direct feedback. Some support was put in place, including coaching, but I don’t feel the actual adjustments were properly embedded or reviewed before the decision was made.

The difficult part is that the concerns raised about me seemed mainly to focus on communication style, professional behaviour, asking for clarification, Teams messages, and quality assurance under pressure — rather than on whether I could actually do the analytical work. Some recent written feedback said my analytical skills were good, that my work did not contain relevant errors, that I was taking ownership, and that I sought support appropriately. Another person said I had picked up on a complex project well.

The project I was criticised on was not straightforward. I was a first-year graduate with no prior experience in that sector, and I was assigned open-ended/data-heavy modelling work with a lot of ambiguity and short deadlines. Some outputs were expected within hours or by the next day, so there was not much time for structured review. I also didn’t always get timely feedback while I could still act on it. Some feedback came months after the work had ended.
My probation extension was meant to allow support and coaching to take effect, but I was dismissed before the extension period had fully ended. I had submitted evidence of improvement the day before the decision, but I don’t feel it was properly discussed or considered.
The coaching report apparently said the benefit of coaching should be assessed after a longer period, because performance can dip while new strategies embed.

I’m appealing because I think they didn’t properly separate disability-related communication issues from actual capability, didn’t give recent improvement enough weight, and didn’t consider alternatives such as letting the extension run, providing clearer QA/communication frameworks, assigning more standard analyst work, or redeploying me to a more suitable team.

I’m not saying I was perfect. I know there were areas to improve. But I feel like I was assessed against unclear expectations, on complex work, without the timely feedback and structure that had already been identified as necessary for me.

AIBU to think this was unfair and potentially linked to disability discrimination/failure to make reasonable adjustments? Or is this just how probation works, and I should accept it and move on?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Magp13 · 06/06/2026 21:21

Branleuse · 06/06/2026 21:05

I expect they'll give her proper advice without an agenda and without being a cunt about it, unlike many people on here who really enjoy being anonymously put the boot in, or treating themselves to a cheeky little character assassination, dressed up as faux concern for a business.

This!

Branleuse · 06/06/2026 21:28

Owly11 · 06/06/2026 07:39

I mean you do summarise accurately albeit rather bluntly what actually is good advice for op. Op definitely needs to self reflect and change or she will always get fired because she seems to think she doesn't need to change. Why is that bad advice? What would your advice be? To keep pursuing the idea that the world needs to change around her and giving her more and more ideas of how to get the workplace to change? You can't change other people the only power you have is to change yourself and that applies to autistic people too. Yes there are things workplaces can do but there are also things autistic people can do. There are plenty of books and resources for autistic people on how to survive the workplace and op would do well to read some of them.

You think that sort of thing is good helpful advice?? Really?? Have you always been like that?

Asif you care if OP gets sacked again. I think you'd enjoy it

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 06/06/2026 21:31

Organgrinder · 05/06/2026 08:15

This is not a professional environment and the OP is receiving quite a battering from a lot of posters, she's being understandably defensive and that's to be expected - it's a very normal way to react - maybe not the most productive way - but she has just had a major negative event happen in her life - she's been judged to be not fit to do her job, cut her some slack people!

If you want to help, see past the noise - if you want to sling more mud maybe you need some self - reflection and consider why you want to kick someone when they are down - it's horrible behaviour.

She was an absolute arse to me for no good reason and her post was deleted.

PissedOffAutistic · 06/06/2026 21:57

Branleuse · 06/06/2026 21:28

You think that sort of thing is good helpful advice?? Really?? Have you always been like that?

Asif you care if OP gets sacked again. I think you'd enjoy it

Why do you think it is NOT good helpful advice? Speaking as an autistic, it seems very useful helpful advice to me

Branleuse · 06/06/2026 23:59

PissedOffAutistic · 06/06/2026 21:57

Why do you think it is NOT good helpful advice? Speaking as an autistic, it seems very useful helpful advice to me

Because it doesn't give anything constructive or helpful.

I get that you enjoyed the pile on, but you don't need to pretend to yourself that it was helpful

StillNotDoingIt · 07/06/2026 00:02

Branleuse · 05/06/2026 13:05

You are acting as if she's bloody up skirting people or going round filming people for her channel.
She already has explained herself here several times. I understand that it's something that is a personal trigger for you. Is there any punishment for her at this point that would satisfy you?

He’s been sacked after committing misconduct. Getting a union involved is not going to get him his job back.

What might help him now is getting him to understand that he’s wasting his time trying for a professional career.

StillNotDoingIt · 07/06/2026 00:08

ALovelyPinkUnicorn · 05/06/2026 21:48

What do you expect the union to do? Say op can do what she wants with impunity?
whats “arbitrary” about expecting gdpr to be followed?

There seem to be a fair few posters from the public sector who have got used to the idea that the employer is working for the employee’s benefit, not the other way around.

This “get the union involved” cry when someone is let go after committing misconduct ought to be laughed out of the room.

Branleuse · 07/06/2026 00:44

StillNotDoingIt · 07/06/2026 00:02

He’s been sacked after committing misconduct. Getting a union involved is not going to get him his job back.

What might help him now is getting him to understand that he’s wasting his time trying for a professional career.

No that isn't what happened. Go back and check the OPs posts and that was not it.
Some people have said that it would be considered GM in some companies.
The OP was not sacked for gross misconduct. If it had been that, then apologising wouldn't have made any difference anyway.

If you just click to see all OPs posts, you'll see

Owly11 · 07/06/2026 06:55

Branleuse · 06/06/2026 21:28

You think that sort of thing is good helpful advice?? Really?? Have you always been like that?

Asif you care if OP gets sacked again. I think you'd enjoy it

What? I really don't know what you are talking about. If you don't think it's good advice to tell op that she needs to learn what the rules of the workplace are and understand how she comes across to others, what do you think good advice is?

Taztoy · 07/06/2026 07:28

Owly11 · 07/06/2026 06:55

What? I really don't know what you are talking about. If you don't think it's good advice to tell op that she needs to learn what the rules of the workplace are and understand how she comes across to others, what do you think good advice is?

The op has revealed they are male.

Owly11 · 07/06/2026 07:47

Taztoy · 07/06/2026 07:28

The op has revealed they are male.

Oh! I have read all the op's posts and I can't see that anywhere?

VaultandSinagain · 07/06/2026 07:54

Owly11 · 07/06/2026 07:47

Oh! I have read all the op's posts and I can't see that anywhere?

Multiple threads on the same subject under different usernames. One thread has been deleted by Mumsnet as being duplicate. It’s on one of the other threads.

Taztoy · 07/06/2026 08:06

Sorry I was heading out! Didn’t mean to post and run. Yes it might’ve been on one of the deleted threads but they said they didn’t want people to be misgendering them.

Owly11 · 07/06/2026 08:12

VaultandSinagain · 07/06/2026 07:54

Multiple threads on the same subject under different usernames. One thread has been deleted by Mumsnet as being duplicate. It’s on one of the other threads.

Thank you.

StillNotDoingIt · 07/06/2026 08:36

Branleuse · 07/06/2026 00:44

No that isn't what happened. Go back and check the OPs posts and that was not it.
Some people have said that it would be considered GM in some companies.
The OP was not sacked for gross misconduct. If it had been that, then apologising wouldn't have made any difference anyway.

If you just click to see all OPs posts, you'll see

I didn’t say gross misconduct. For someone who criticises others’ reading you aren’t doing very well at it yourself.

He committed misconduct before being let go.

Taztoy · 07/06/2026 08:47

The other thread has more context about the behaviours that he exhibited.

I strongly suspect that it was all just the straw that broke the camel’s back in the end.

He inappropriately asked colleagues who were LGBTQIA+ directly on a call what discrimination they had faced.

he spammed multiple chat channels asking for help with the same thing.

he recorded people without their consent.

his work wasn’t up to scratch.

the company strongly suspected he was using AI to deliver outputs

thr handholding he needed with feedback etc was excessive and basically a full-time job

He asked in a group chat what the name stood for - to be fair to op, I don’t think that’s the worst thing but it depends who else was in the chat and what way he asked, but I can guess he was abrupt and rude and if the chat had seniors in it, that will have gone down like a fart in a space suit.

edit to add. He also has an overblown idea of his experience and knowledge which would mean he would be expected to perform at the level he is bigging himself up to be at. And clearly hes not there.

MesLunettes · 07/06/2026 10:01

Taztoy · 07/06/2026 07:28

The op has revealed they are male.

Which makes a lot of sense.

Branleuse · 07/06/2026 11:44

SereneRoseRobin · 04/06/2026 22:40

this is not the main point of the chat. i didnt get in trouble for misconduct as i used copilot to record the meeting and it was in internal systems ffs. now help me find a job

She didn't get in trouble for misconduct or for using AI.

I think it's worth seperating what OP says from what some other people have then interpreted it as.

I am not really the sort of poster who goes on searches to trawl their posting history for discrepancies or for proof that they somehow don't deserve support

StillNotDoingIt · 07/06/2026 11:48

Taztoy · 07/06/2026 08:47

The other thread has more context about the behaviours that he exhibited.

I strongly suspect that it was all just the straw that broke the camel’s back in the end.

He inappropriately asked colleagues who were LGBTQIA+ directly on a call what discrimination they had faced.

he spammed multiple chat channels asking for help with the same thing.

he recorded people without their consent.

his work wasn’t up to scratch.

the company strongly suspected he was using AI to deliver outputs

thr handholding he needed with feedback etc was excessive and basically a full-time job

He asked in a group chat what the name stood for - to be fair to op, I don’t think that’s the worst thing but it depends who else was in the chat and what way he asked, but I can guess he was abrupt and rude and if the chat had seniors in it, that will have gone down like a fart in a space suit.

edit to add. He also has an overblown idea of his experience and knowledge which would mean he would be expected to perform at the level he is bigging himself up to be at. And clearly hes not there.

Edited

And he’s suggested he’s going to lie about his job in his next applications by saying he was in a fixed-term contract.

Any one or two of his actions would be enough to see him fail probation in a professional environment, to have such a list and to have failed his accountancy exams in his last job despite his-self-professed intellect really paints a picture of someone who needs a more realistic picture of what they are capable of.

StillNotDoingIt · 07/06/2026 11:50

Branleuse · 07/06/2026 11:44

She didn't get in trouble for misconduct or for using AI.

I think it's worth seperating what OP says from what some other people have then interpreted it as.

I am not really the sort of poster who goes on searches to trawl their posting history for discrepancies or for proof that they somehow don't deserve support

Why do you keep referring to him as “she”?

And yes, he got in trouble for recording a call at work. You seem awfully invested in lying to support him.

McSpoot · 07/06/2026 12:05

StillNotDoingIt · 07/06/2026 11:50

Why do you keep referring to him as “she”?

And yes, he got in trouble for recording a call at work. You seem awfully invested in lying to support him.

To be fair, nowhere in this thread did the poster say that he is a "he" and the person you quoted has said that they've not read the other threads.

StillNotDoingIt · 07/06/2026 12:14

McSpoot · 07/06/2026 12:05

To be fair, nowhere in this thread did the poster say that he is a "he" and the person you quoted has said that they've not read the other threads.

It’s been mentioned several times in this thread.

The poster I was responding to seems to have very selective ability to read posts yet has a habit of criticising others who miss something.

I don’t think she’s posting in good faith.

Preppyprepper · 07/06/2026 12:43

Taztoy · 07/06/2026 08:47

The other thread has more context about the behaviours that he exhibited.

I strongly suspect that it was all just the straw that broke the camel’s back in the end.

He inappropriately asked colleagues who were LGBTQIA+ directly on a call what discrimination they had faced.

he spammed multiple chat channels asking for help with the same thing.

he recorded people without their consent.

his work wasn’t up to scratch.

the company strongly suspected he was using AI to deliver outputs

thr handholding he needed with feedback etc was excessive and basically a full-time job

He asked in a group chat what the name stood for - to be fair to op, I don’t think that’s the worst thing but it depends who else was in the chat and what way he asked, but I can guess he was abrupt and rude and if the chat had seniors in it, that will have gone down like a fart in a space suit.

edit to add. He also has an overblown idea of his experience and knowledge which would mean he would be expected to perform at the level he is bigging himself up to be at. And clearly hes not there.

Edited

Can you link to that thread please