AIBU to think dismissal during probation was unfair given autism adjustments?

[SereneRoseRobin]

I’m looking for honest views because I’m not sure whether I’m being unreasonable or whether this was genuinely unfair.

I was recently dismissed from a graduate/analyst role after my probation was extended. I am autistic, and my employer knew this. I had raised the need for clear written instructions, defined objectives, examples of similar work, timelines, and timely/direct feedback. Some support was put in place, including coaching, but I don’t feel the actual adjustments were properly embedded or reviewed before the decision was made.

The difficult part is that the concerns raised about me seemed mainly to focus on communication style, professional behaviour, asking for clarification, Teams messages, and quality assurance under pressure — rather than on whether I could actually do the analytical work. Some recent written feedback said my analytical skills were good, that my work did not contain relevant errors, that I was taking ownership, and that I sought support appropriately. Another person said I had picked up on a complex project well.

The project I was criticised on was not straightforward. I was a first-year graduate with no prior experience in that sector, and I was assigned open-ended/data-heavy modelling work with a lot of ambiguity and short deadlines. Some outputs were expected within hours or by the next day, so there was not much time for structured review. I also didn’t always get timely feedback while I could still act on it. Some feedback came months after the work had ended.
My probation extension was meant to allow support and coaching to take effect, but I was dismissed before the extension period had fully ended. I had submitted evidence of improvement the day before the decision, but I don’t feel it was properly discussed or considered.
The coaching report apparently said the benefit of coaching should be assessed after a longer period, because performance can dip while new strategies embed.

I’m appealing because I think they didn’t properly separate disability-related communication issues from actual capability, didn’t give recent improvement enough weight, and didn’t consider alternatives such as letting the extension run, providing clearer QA/communication frameworks, assigning more standard analyst work, or redeploying me to a more suitable team.

I’m not saying I was perfect. I know there were areas to improve. But I feel like I was assessed against unclear expectations, on complex work, without the timely feedback and structure that had already been identified as necessary for me.

AIBU to think this was unfair and potentially linked to disability discrimination/failure to make reasonable adjustments? Or is this just how probation works, and I should accept it and move on?

I can think of many jobs. Reading the OP’s posts though I think those are about her level.

I’ve mentored graduates up to board level jobs in Investment banking, so know all about how to guide someone and help them grow, but am also aware that there are plenty of people with an economics degree who will be doing well to hold down a job collecting trolleys.

I think your response here is really telling.

You are angry that people who don't have the required skills to do a job are not keeping the jobs. Because you are putting the focus on a person with autism being able to do and have whatever they want and stuff everyone else. Presumable because you also have autism, and feel you should be able to do whatever you want.

If someone does not have the skills or capability to do a job, why should they be given the job anyway? Should someone who uses a wheelchair be given a job as a firefighter if they want it, even if they can't physically enter a burning building? What is the point of employing someone to be a firefighter? That doesn't mean someone who uses a wheelchair can't have a job and that 'society hates them', but that they can't do that job and need to find something else they can do.

You need to look at why you think autistic people should be exempt from the rules and restrictions that govern everyone else

I agree with this. I think an exacerbating factor is that often people who don't have those 'soft skills' (which might include, but is in no way limited to, autistic people) really don't value or see the point of them. You see this a lot, e.g. absolute disdain at the idea that anyone advances at work for getting along with people well rather than just getting 'the work' done well - but actually, in lots of roles getting along with people is some of the work. But because people then see the soft skills as meaningless, pointless or even a sign of someone being less capable intellectually, they then see no problem with not having them even if the job requires it. There are exceptions (some recounted on this thread!) but almost everyone agrees you can't be an innumerate accountant, but lots of people think you can be an account manager with no social skills because they think the world shouldn't value social skills at work.

Such as?

You have read her other threads?

This is ridiculous victim-playing

I'm not really sure how to respond to this because there's so much strawmanning - you've assimilated me with a stereotype you hold that I don't conform to. Lots of really unpleasant stereotypes and snipes in your response.

Why does the workplace need to adapt? Autistic people aren't owed a particular job just because they want it. Nor are NT people.

Hyperbole off the scale now.

No one is "owed" a job. It's about keeping people in work and the economy functioning. For what it's worth I think most people - NT and ND - have really low resilience but I don't think the solution is for them to buck up their ideas en masse

It's hard to imagine any other marginalised group being told "no, no one is discriminating against you, you just deserve it". And actually, my life is good, I get on with people, I perform well at my job, I have nice friends, all fine thanks. If you assume I'm speaking from a place of bitterness or entitlement, you're way off the mark. I just don't think autistic people deserve to be blamed for the discrimination they receive, because at this point the thread is less and less about what the OP should have done better and more and more full of really unpleasant generalisations.

There's a lot of misunderstanding of what "reasonable adjustments" means; it doesn't mean you can change the entire role or make your employer do things that go against laws or internal policies for example (allowing employees to secretly record other colleagues for example!) But it sounds like maybe this employer over-promised at the interview stage what could be done. I think ACAS would be the ones to advise. There's been some helpful answers upthread as to other professional areas you could try and how to take the feedback on board to hopefully help you in the future.

Almost every post has referred back to the OP. If anything you've been the one making sweeping generalisations about NT people wanting autistic people dead.

From what the OP has written and her replies, it's pretty obvious she can't do the job, whether due to autism or something else. You don't deliberately record a meeting without asking permission because you're autistic. You don't refuse to apologise for that gross misconduct because you're autistic.

My point is that not encouraging autistic people to adapt WITHIN their capabilities (because it's ableist), instead demanding all the adaptation be done by employers, is not reasonable and is doing autistic people a disservice.

Honestly I really think:

• don't ever ask for reasonable adjustments for autism, and don't disclose autism unless you absolutely have to.
• change companies, if not sectors, loooong before it gets to this point.
• don't be pigheaded.
• remember the workplace dynamic is not a uni dynamic.

Unpleasant generalisations such as:

I actually think lots of people would rather autistic people just died, but they can't say that. Well, they can. They just don't.

That sort of unpleasant generalisation, do you mean?

I don't think there is any insistence that employers do all of the adapting, or indeed any. As I say, I have never disclosed autism or asked for reasonable adjustments - where I have found a role or a company unsuitable I have just given notice and worked out my notice in a professional and conscientious way before looking for a new role in a different sector. No entitlement, no nothing, just trying to avoid aggro. But I really do think that asking for adjustments for autism would be like waving a big flag saying "please pathologise my every action and manage me out!"

I'm sure plenty of people do feel that way. I haven't pinned it on a particular individual or group. But of course some people feel that way.

One of the joys of social media is that people have a platform to talk about the groups they hate, so women are threatened with rape and migrants with being burnt out of their homes, which reflects real life facts of women being raped and migrants being burnt out of their homes...

I haven't come across any demands for autistic people to be kicked out of the work place, or forced to do manual work - cleaning shit off the ground is how you described it. No one is taking your job off you, unless you're as unsuitable for it as the OP is for hers.

People don't hate all autistic people and want them to die. I'd say everyone knows autistic people, from their family, workplace or their kids school. Not even Tommy Robinson seems to hate autistic peoole, and he hates pretty much everyone who's not exactly like him.

It does feel that you're playing victim Olympics, and that has no winners.

Me mentioning collecting trolleys up above reminded me of my first job which was in a supermarket. I worked on the checkouts and did some cleaning.

I would have liked (in the summer) to work on the trolleys, out in the sun, but was not allowed to.

The job involved pushing long lines of them up a long ramp, so went to only the staff who were physically strong and junior, which turned out to always be the teen boys.

Perhaps I ought to have raged at the unfairness of it all. Perhaps I could have asked for someone to be assigned to help me push them up the slope. Perhaps I could have asked to be allowed to operate at half of the capacity of the people currently doing it, or for the shop to invest in lightweight carbon fibre trolleys.

I'm really the opposite of a victim mentality person, but I appreciate that you don't know the ins and outs of my life and it would be a bit weird for me to broadcast them, so I'll leave it there. The problem from my POV is that when people in general seem to be suggesting that X group is unemployable (save for, supposedly, shortage-sector manual labour jobs, which, again, I have done quite a few times) but also aghast at the idea of said people being out of work on benefits, you do get to a point where you wonder what on earth X group is supposed to do. Pigheadedness, feebleness etc are not traits of autism any more than they are of non-autistic people - people just have different temperaments even within groups and diagnoses. There are lots of autistic people who I do think have a victim mindset and an unwillingness to "play the game" - but lambasting those people for their shortcomings doesn't solve the actual issue.

Honestly, sometimes I do want to say to (some) other autistic people, "for fuck's sake, play the game a bit!" But sometimes even if you're willing to, you can't, because you're just too autistic! It is tough. And there are studies about how people form an instant subconscious dislike of autistic people based upon very subtle traits and signals. Because I DO try to play the game and I DON'T have a victim mentality, I try to make a bit of a game of it and think, "right, how can I try to hack this situation to get on this person's good side/make them feel at ease etc" But it's bloody hard.

This is a workplace and though they have a duty of care to employees it is not the same as the duty of care a university has to students - so you mate have got used to being accommodated in all the precise ways that make it possible for you to achieve well at uni. But now this is real world, where you are an employee and the overarching objective is to get the job done. Other people are busy and cannot prioritise your disability needs over the word and responsibilities elsewhere. Your requests may seem reasonable to you but they are onerous and require labour that someone is doing in addition to the other aspects of their role. It would be better to find a job and move on than to continue with this .

Honestly as an employer this will be blunt and many will agree but keep quiet as it’s not PC, I’ll say it anyways.

All additional adjustments and requests are a massive extra hassle for employers to remember. It’s an extra workload they don’t have time for or want to do - written instructions etc take time, complaining when we don’t do it correctly is an extra headache we don’t need. I could go on but you get the picture. Small companies especially don’t have the capacity to cater for it.

I haven’t read the full thread so apologies if I’m repeating what others may have mentioned. There is some really poor advice on this thread. And what feels like a real lack of desire to understand the world from the perspective of someone who may not be neurotypical. The Equality Act 2010 places a legal obligation on employers to make reasonable adjustments for colleagues with conditions that put them at a disadvantage, such as disabilities. There are many good employers who search for clarity on their obligations here and will do their best to support disabled workers. As a Society we want people to be in employment rather than doing nothing. There is an obligation on all of us to begin to challenge our own assumptions in the workplace and change practices that deliberately exclude people with disabilities by being inaccessible.

Oh. Lots of ableism on this thread, that's nice <Sarcasm>.

OP, I was in a similar situation to you - I was sacked during my probation for having a (different) disability that they could have accommodated with some quite basic equipment, (funding was even available for it) but they didn't want to. 20 years later I realise I am probably AuDHD and that this may have had an impact on their decision that essentially my face didn't fit. I chose not to fight it but to move on. It sucks, but the reality of employment tribunals and fighting for it to be considered as disability discrimination is that the law is geared up to support employers, not (ex) employees, and it would be very stressful without likelihood of a good outcome for you to go through it. I know it's an injustice and that's awful, but I don't think any good will come of fighting it.

There are workplaces that attract neurodiverse people, and I have accidentally fallen into one of those and I've been happily here 14 years now.

Let it go and move on. Don’t ruminate, just find another job.