My DC is in Primary 3 and every year we do a class gift for the teacher. It's always been pretty relaxed - parents contribute whatever they can or want to, no suggested amount, no pressure.
This year, though, there was a "recommended" contribution of £20. It wasn't technically compulsory, but it was being pushed quite hard in the class WhatsApp group. I found it a bit much, partly because not everyone can easily spare £20 and partly because it felt like it had shifted from a voluntary collection into something with an expectation attached.
I was convinced this had come from one particular mum who joined the class this year. She's one of those very polished, affluent-seeming types (PTA, parent council, always immaculate, cashmere-and-Volvo sort of vibe). I know that's a stereotype and probably unfair, but I genuinely assumed she was the driving force behind the higher amount.
I moaned about it to a couple of other parents and was fairly critical of her, saying I thought it was exactly the sort of thing she'd push for.
Well. I've now discovered I had it completely wrong.
It turns out the WhatsApp admin was the one who organised things, and from what I've heard the mum I blamed actually argued for keeping contributions anonymous and entirely voluntary, with no suggested amount. Apparently she was overruled by others. So the person I'd mentally cast as the villain was actually arguing the opposite position.
I feel really embarrassed and quite guilty. As far as I know, the mum in question has no idea I've been bitching about her. I've certainly never said anything directly to her.
AIBU to think I should apologise anyway, or would that just be making myself feel better and creating awkwardness where none currently exists? If someone had been unfairly judging you behind the scenes, would you rather know and receive an apology, or remain blissfully unaware?