School toilets

[Sweetheart1990]

School toilets!
Son text me to say he had walked out of lesson after being refused permission to go to the toilet, he had finished all his work. I have always told him to do this if he is desperate but he never actually has before.
He has been put in isolation.
I'm angry as I really believe that students should be allowed to go when they need to and he had completed all tasks so was just say in the classroom anyway.
What does everyone else think?

the teacher has a whole class to manage and I would guess has a limited number of immediate behaviour management tools open to them. they also have to follow school rules. From that individual teacher’s perspective in that classroom your son disobeyed them and left the class without consent while under that teacher’s responsibility.

However, I don’t disagree with you about independence and comfort and all that goes along with young people being allowed to use the loo when they need to. But take it up at school leadership level.

YABU.

If you’re at work in the middle of an important meeting you wouldn’t just walk out because you need the toilet. You need to be able to wait for an appropriate gap.

I would be fetching my ds home or sitting in isolation with him as he was only following the instructions I have given him.

Yes he did disobey rules, but what is the alternative of you are absolutely desperate for the toilet? Some common sense should come into play surely. He has on other occasions been allowed to the toilet in lesson times, so there isn't a blanket rule. I think that of I was in charge of a class and someone had finished what they were doing I would just let them go?

If I was desperate for the toilet I would say "excuse me for a moment"
He had already needed the toilet for most of the lesson, finished his work and then asked to go

I will be fetching him home

Not true, I have quite often got up and excused myself from a meeting because the chair hadn’t built in appropriate breaks, rest of the room normally follows suit while the one person with a giant bladder that never needs to loo grumbles to themselves!
Not sure about you but I can’t concentrate on anything if I’m worried I’m going to pee myself…

I think it is difficult. Obviously if a child is truly desperate they need to go, on the other hand I think school toilets can be somewhere not very nice kids hang out and bully others so ideally I'd want mine to go at a busy time, safety in numbers?

Exactly this! If I have an important meeting I make sure to go for a just in case wee! The school probably have some sort of policy else otherwise there would a constant stream of children going to the loo and no learning would happen and then parents would complain about that!

I am assuming he is secondary school, if he has no medical issues he should be able to wait until break. If all children were allowed to the toilet during lesson it would be chaos.

You have no idea why the teacher said no.
So you are being unreasonable.

If he needed it for most of the lesson why didn’t he go before the lesson?

If you’re desperate you would! I have ADHD and sometimes forget to plan in a toilet break before a long meeting, I have chosen to leave a meeting mid way through to nip to the toilet before. If I need the toilet I can’t always then concentrate well enough on the meeting to contribute properly so better to nip out for 2 minutes than try and carry on. It’s not really for someone else to decide when somebody else should or shouldn’t use the toilet.

Yes, I would wait for an appropriate gap but I wouldn’t necessarilly wait until the end of the meeting. Some lessons are 2 hours long, that’s a long time to wait. If the DS had finished all of his work and the teacher wasn’t in the middle of an introduction/ plenary etc then that sounds like an appropriate gap!

They have people monitoring hallways and outside toilets so would be pretty safe

It's not as simple as that. The teacher has a class of 30 children to look after. And children will lie about going to the toilet to get out of a classroom.

It was first lesson of the day, he leaves home at 7.20 to get to school, this was around 9.50

No, you wouldn’t.

You’d wait for an appropriate time because that’s how adults are. You can’t just allow him to believe he can disrupt people whenever he wants.

But he had finished his work, what would he be 'getting out of"

As adults we would nip straight to the toilet and straight back, however children? Using the toilet is often used as a get out of class card and they would be messing around and getting into mischief hence why many schools ask that children don’t go during lessons!

It's a dilemma as old as time.

Kids need the loo during lessons, but kids also pull a fast one and hang around the toilets bullying/vaping etc.

I'd hate to be a teacher and have to make that decision.

He should be able to go when desperate. Schools must start using more commonsensical approach - of course, you can tell the difference between a student who has done his work and is desperate, and a student who would regularly take advantage.

I also think parents need to demand cleaner toilets at schools as many children are put off from using them (and drinking less/ no water) because of the state they are in.

Let’s prioritise our children’s health and stop making excuses for an underfunded system to which we have not much of a choice but to hand our children all day.

Why didnt he go before school then?

Hes making excuses. You are making excuses.

Your son sounds like a model student however there will probably be a blanket policy as if the teacher lets him go then the other 29 children will also want to go and they may not be such great students!

If you were having a period flood or suddenly felt diarrhoea on the way, of course you would excuse yourself.

Toilet are in the state they are because of the children who use them! Another reason they probably don’t allow them to go during lessons!!