Im happy!! After worrying I never would be, I finally am. I was abused throughout childhood by my mum (verbal abuse and neglect) and I’ve had a really troubled life after that. But I am now married with children and today, I feel so much joy.
I spent the day with my DD aged 9 (my youngest). It is a total rarity for it to just be me and her. We did lots of fun things, and at one point, we were painting together. She looked at me and said “mum, we’re having so much fun today, aren’t we?” I know that for others, this might not mean so much. But this is everything I ever hoped for. To be able to give that joy to my own child, and to share in it with her.
I was putting her to bed one night and we had read a story featuring a ‘wicked stepmother’. She said “some people actually can have bad mums, did you know that?? I’m lucky”. I literally welled up. She doesn’t know, and probably never will know, what I have been through, and how much these words have filled me with joy. Yes, I am sad that I never got to be that girl, who felt that way… but being able to be that person for her, it’s all I could ever want.
I know this isn’t an AIBU, but it’s something I can’t share irl, as I don’t tend to discuss my childhood. I hope you don’t mind me sharing.
for those of us who have suffered as I have, there can be true joy ahead! ❤️