Wedding planner cancelled meet at wedding venue

[lilybit2025]

Our wedding planner has emailed to say she can no longer meet us at our venue next week, and while I understand the reason, I can’t help feeling a bit disappointed and frustrated.

We’re getting married in Italy in 2028, and I booked her back in October last year because securing a planner was one of the first things I wanted to get sorted. We told her then that we’d be visiting the venue in June 2026 and would love to meet her there in person, walk around the venue together, and discuss our plans.

She had previously explained that if a wedding booking ever clashed with our visit, the wedding would have to take priority, which I completely understand. However, with the venue visit now only days away, she’s let us know that one of her couples has asked her to attend an additional event before their wedding, meaning she can no longer make it.

I think what has made this harder is that I’ve already had some concerns about communication, as she can be quite slow to respond at times. I know our wedding is still two years away, but I can’t shake the feeling that because it’s not happening anytime soon, we’re being pushed further down the priority list.

I don’t expect a 2028 wedding to receive the same level of attention as a wedding taking place next week, but I do think every client should still feel valued and important, regardless of how far away their wedding date is. We booked her early because we wanted to build a relationship and feel confident that we were in good hands throughout the planning process and worried this will be the case again next year if we go to visit the venue again? She's also not asked us what our budget is or anything. I've had to tell her this is our budget etc and nothings really started happening yet. I've asked her for a list of caterers which she's sent over but she's so unprofessional in her emails and I'm just a little unsure about her. Call it a gut feeling. Do I fire her and find a new one?

So have you lost money on the flights for her travelling to meet you?
Of course you are being pushed down the priority list, the wedding isn’t for 2 years, it’s not a priority! Why do you even need a wedding planner with that much notice?

What timeline did you establish with the planner for steps?

Trust your gut. Find someone else. How did you find her?

Find someone else - this is not who need

Listen to your gut, you have time to replace them, and find someone willing to give your wedding the focus you are paying for.

I have heard this elsewhere about wedding planners in Italy OP. They won't start thinking about the 2027 weddings until October when the current season ends. Therefore, your wedding will be miles down the list. I think it's a bit different from the UK.

I get it.

But also I would want a wedding planner who prioritised me if it was my wedding happening. That’s actually a very good trait.

A shit wedding planner would be prioritising the new client to secure business. Not focusing on finishing and delivering the job.

Tough call

Where in Italy, my daughter married there a few years back and used a wedding planner.

Are you serious?

i know it s disappointing when you wanted to mert at the venue, but how would you feel if you were the bride to be getting married in 8 days and you re wedding planner told you that she s going to meet a new client whose wedding is in 2 years so cant attend the wedding of the CURRENT client?

I know it s in italy, you have hired a planner there, you feel out of control etc but it s in 2 yrs. you obviously hired her for a reason. So trust the process. She s busy for a wedding in 8 days so yes communication with will sparse or cold because she is busy. Nothing is easy or simple,so there are likely some issues she is resolving for a wedding happening NOW.

you re not down the list, you re in the calendat, but you re wedding is following a process and will
get attention in 12 to 18 months prior.
now you ve booked her, you re sorted. Enjoy the time that you are already ahead of most.

please dont tell me you re already wedding dress shopping? 2 years!

my best friend got married and she had 8months to get it all sorted, super posh wedding.

relax until next easter or summer 27.

Call the caterers that she recommended and ask their opinion of dealing with her. See if you can get any insight. Talk to your wedding venue, have they worked with her before? Is there anyone else that they can recommend?

Your wedding is 2 years away. You won't even remember what you discussed at this meeting and will probably change your mind a hundred times between now and the actual wedding date. I absolutely think prioritising a wedding happening next week is more important and am surprised you think she should instead be focused on you.

Did you post about this last year OP when you initially contacted her?
2028 is a long time away, but equally you are supposed to be a client. No harm in contacting other wedding planners and seeing how responsive they are if you aren’t happy with this one.

I don't know if I agree with this. Most professionals keep a diary, and once a client meeting is in the diary, that's pretty fixed and you shouldn't be saying to that first client that you're cancelling because the second is more urgent. In my job that would be seen as very unprofessional. If she thought there was a chance she wouldn't be able to make it, she shouldn't have agreed, however conditionally.

Coupled with the slow communication I would consider finding another planner.

Having said that you do sound quite intense op, wanting a wedding planner to go abroad with you nearly 2 years before the wedding. That's something I'd expect a top dollar wedding planner to do, is this the case here? I wonder if you're paying a mid-price planner and expecting a platinum service?

Can you get an idea of timescales from her?
So can she tell you when she would expect to visit the venue, when she'd normally discuss caterers, when she'd want to see you in person and whatever else a wedding planner does.

Then you can decide if that works for you or not and if it does, it makes everything clear. If she has no intention of seeing the venue 2yrs in advance, then it stops you wasting your time and money.

Right not you are not a priority because you are getting married in 2 years.

I imagine she has years of experience to say that engaging on details with clients 2 years ahead of their wedding is a nightmare as there’s so much time inbetween to constantly change decisions meaning it’s more work for her.
can you not speak with her and just ask what the usually rules of engagement are with a wedding so far away?
from what you’ve said she’s been crystal clear about the arrangements for your June meeting, this is a case of you wanting something so much you’ve pretty much ignored what she’s said to you as you didn’t want to hear it, not necessarily in an arrogant way but on probably on a subconscious level
I’m guessing that planning a wedding overseas for someone who likes things pinned down and controlled is going to prove pretty stressful, maybe try and think of how you can best negate this OP so you get to enjoy the experience as much as possible

I don't think she's expecting a UK based planner to fly to Italy, she's booked an Italian wedding planner to help her plan her wedding in Italy.

While I agree with pps that it's too early for this visit to be of much use, I don't think the planner handled it well at all.

Since it involves overseas travel, she should either have committed to it definitely, or declined it, not left you with a vague agreement to go if nothing else should come up.

I couldn't work with someone incapable of organising their diary better than that.

I'd find someone else.

Ah okay. I misunderstood in that case.

It’s all too much, too early! Weddings do not take this long to plan. You want to stretch out the experience of being a bride for literally years. Lovely. But she has to earn a living, so she can’t invest as much time in your extended timeline as you want.

You are just getting married. The King’s coronation was planned in less time. The Pope’s ordination was planned in less time. Chill.

Is she booked throughout your stay, or could you reschedule the meeting? How local is she to the venue a d is it one she has dealt with previously? Maybe the venue could suggest an alternative.

I think that if you fire this woman and hire another one straight away you're just going to hit the same issues. I don't see that she's done anything wrong here.

Your wedding is two seasons away, of COURSE she’s going to attend a current season event last minute rather that yours.
It doesn’t mean she doesn’t care/isn’t any good. It means she prioritises appropriately. And it sounds like she’s given sufficient notice (and a warning that this might happen further in advance).

OMG you are planning for TWO years away?! And you're already this precious?

YABVU IMO

Of course the current season comes before a wedding two years away, but find someone else due to the lack of communication. She should of asked about budget etc when you booked her.

Also, in 2 years anything could happen. The venue could go bust, the wedding planner could go bust, the world could blow up, laws could change, airlines could change routes, you could get ill or pregnant or broke or your fiance could, your friend group could change, as could your family make up...