Wedding planner cancelled meet at wedding venue

[lilybit2025]

Our wedding planner has emailed to say she can no longer meet us at our venue next week, and while I understand the reason, I can’t help feeling a bit disappointed and frustrated.

We’re getting married in Italy in 2028, and I booked her back in October last year because securing a planner was one of the first things I wanted to get sorted. We told her then that we’d be visiting the venue in June 2026 and would love to meet her there in person, walk around the venue together, and discuss our plans.

She had previously explained that if a wedding booking ever clashed with our visit, the wedding would have to take priority, which I completely understand. However, with the venue visit now only days away, she’s let us know that one of her couples has asked her to attend an additional event before their wedding, meaning she can no longer make it.

I think what has made this harder is that I’ve already had some concerns about communication, as she can be quite slow to respond at times. I know our wedding is still two years away, but I can’t shake the feeling that because it’s not happening anytime soon, we’re being pushed further down the priority list.

I don’t expect a 2028 wedding to receive the same level of attention as a wedding taking place next week, but I do think every client should still feel valued and important, regardless of how far away their wedding date is. We booked her early because we wanted to build a relationship and feel confident that we were in good hands throughout the planning process and worried this will be the case again next year if we go to visit the venue again? She's also not asked us what our budget is or anything. I've had to tell her this is our budget etc and nothings really started happening yet. I've asked her for a list of caterers which she's sent over but she's so unprofessional in her emails and I'm just a little unsure about her. Call it a gut feeling. Do I fire her and find a new one?

2028?!! Here's an idea, pop down to the registry office in a couple of weeks and save yourself two years of stress.

So, you booked her almost a year ago. That’s 3 years before your wedding. How long have you been engaged?

I’d want the marriage. You’re waiting servers years to get married because you want a party in Italy? World has gone mad.

Of course she isn’t paying you any attention. Your wedding is years away.

Its your wedding and if your already feeling unimpressed with her communication that's enough to change to someone else. Further down the line you will feel its too late to change, so now you have enough time left if you change now.
With a wedding planner your paying for individual attention, it could be that shes taken on more than she can cope with. If you do find another one make it clear at the start you value consistent communication/ and a professional attitude.

Can you try and do all the planning and visits in the 'off season', then the wedding planner and venues won't be so busy.

So you’ve paid for flights and accommodation to Italy and she’s letting you down last minute? Coupled with her unprofessionalism and slow responses, you would be absolutely mad to continue with her.

Fire her and maybe ask the venue for a recommendation. Or find a venue that plans it all for you.

Are you only going there for a short time? Given that it's only a meeting there should be some way to find a time when she can be there.
Have you paid her anything yet? If all you have done is tell her you want to engage her services in future then she is not being unreasonable to prioritise actual customers.

If you can find an alternative organiser who you like and who is available then it would be fine to swap - you will never quite trust the original one after this.

I think the slow communication is probably deliberate on the planners part. She knows things will change between last year and in two years time, so encouraging getting in to details of catering etc. now will only result in huge amounts of unnecessary work that will have to be altered over and over again. Basically, if she gives an inch...

The venue and planner booked is all that is needed for now really.

I’d be very uneasy about her casualness. Many weddings are 2+ years in the planning, and an overseas destination wedding you need to be 100% confident in them as you’ve less immediate control. It’s not like you’ll be flying over to meet her every month. Did she draw you up a timeline? Any good planner would give you a timeline, and that’s partly so she can manage her time commitment to each client, ie a wedding in summer 2026 will get more of her input now but that’s not to say a 2028 bride should have a planned meeting cancelled. Have you paid her a deposit, and have you confirmation if she has paid a deposit to any of the service providers? Have you seen contracts and receipts?

jeez. Chill out. Its not for 2 years

Yes you are bottom of her priority list. Any wedding planner you will be bottom of the list. Too much can change in 2 years to make any firm plans.

You started planning this wedding last October and it is not for another 2 years! Why the wait?

The way the OP worded it was that they are flying over ANYWAY to visit the venue and they emailed her to say they would love to meet up with her as well while they were there. So she’s not flying over specifically to meet with the planner. Plus the planner has already warned the OP that earlier weddings will be taking priority at this moment. I don’t really think the planner has done anything wrong. But I understand it’s disappointing for the OP.

I laughed at this, but I do agree, having had a wedding and got swept up in all the ridiculous bullshit I should have just eloped or done the registry office and 2 witnesses.

Save yourself £10,000s and endless stress and tedious nonsense and go on holiday to Italy, get married in a 10 minute ceremony in your home town.

@lilybit2025 Have you lost sight of what marriage is about?

It is a lifelong commitment between two people. It's not about wedding planners, posh venues, fancy meals etc...

Go out to Italy and just get married next week instead of visiting the venue. Drag a couple of witnesses off the street. The whole day is about you and your husband to be. Not loads of people watching some pretentious over-planned event.

If you know you want to get married now, then why are you waiting two years. Just go and get married!!

And yes, sack the wedding planner. She clearly isn't right for you if she's pissing you off with over two years to go.

Nowhere has OP said they are flying over ANYWAY.

It sounds like this June visit has been booked in with this planner for quite some time. And this new issue isn’t related to the other couple’s actual wrdding day, so it sounds like a cop out.

We’re getting married in Italy in 2028, and I booked her back in October last year because securing a planner was one of the first things I wanted to get sorted. We told her then that we’d be visiting the venue in June 2026 and would love to meet her there in person, walk around the venue together, and discuss our plans.

We told her then that we’d be visiting the venue in June 2026 and would love to meet her there in person, walk around the venue together, and discuss our plans.

We told her we were visiting the venue in June. Not “can we book a meeting with you in June”. To me that implies they were visiting the venue anyway in June and wanted to book her in while there. If someone said to me I’m visiting your city in June and would love to see you I wouldn’t think they were coming just to see me at all. I’d assume they were there anyway regardless if they see me or not.

Also if they just said June, was the planner meant to block out the whole of June just in case

Gobsmacked this post isn't satire.

They obviously didn’t expect that, the post is literally about her planning their meeting at the venue next week, so clearly the wedding planner had a date

This is like my friend. She can’t see the woods for the trees either. She is 38, desperate to get married and have a child before it’s too late, finally found someone who says he wants that too but she wants an engagement ring costing about £7k (because that’s what her sister’s got, but they married wealthy men and she is with a guy on minimum wage). He cannot afford the ring, so they’re waiting until he has saved enough. Which will be a few years. So… she is risking her last chance at a baby just for the perfect instagram engagement photos.

I said to her “do you want a ring, or a marriage” and she just looked stunned. She’ll be the type who also waits years for the perfect wedding because it’s all about the party and what you show off to people. Just get married ffs. Start your life together.

Have you checked with the planner and the venue if there is any other date while you will be in Italy that suits everyone to meet? Perhaps you could video call her from the venue. Has she worked at the venue previously? I think it's probably important that you have confidence in your wedding planner so maybe you should look for another. Although, it's possible your expectations are unreasonable, are you hoping for a same day reply to every email? Do wedding suppliers in Italy get booked up 2+ years in advance?

What on earth is going to take two years to plan? Madness.

I work in weddings and it’s exhausting and pointless when brides/ couples want so much contact years in advance.
There’s no benefit to it, all you’ll do is piss the vendors and everyone associated with the wedding off and take time away from the current couples.

Of course, that doesn’t mean she’s not flakey.

But maybe you’ve been a bit much already.

It’s June, peak wedding season, and your wedding is 2 years away. Of course she’s busy.🤯

So you booked your wedding planner to meet you in prime wedding season for your wedding which is two years away? Are you serious?

I think you need to take a chill pill and honestly don't let this wedding consume you for the next two years.