AIBU to think this was really thoughtless?

[Query2026]

I’m in the kitchen bending down to unload the dishwasher. Unbeknown to me DH has opened the cupboard above me to get himself a glass and has left the cupboard door open.

I stand up and crack my head on the cupboard door. Very painful and results in a lump.

When I discuss this later with DH he says it’s reasonable to have cupboards open in a kitchen. I have said I think he was thoughtless and selfish because he could see i was below there unloading the dishwasher and I shouldn’t have to go hovering around checking whats above me. He said he just doesn’t think it’s a big deal.

AIBU to think this is not only thoughtless but also says something about how he views me?

Why did he leave the door open if he’d finished?

Saying that, DH has left the dishwasher open for someone to trip over.

Yes it’s really thoughtless and lazy. Shut the cupboard after getting a glass why leave it open. It’s telling he didn’t feel awful and apologise.

Has happened to me because of the same reason. It is really thoughtless, and what is he talking about, it's not reasonable to have cupboards left open!

Edited for spelling

The leaving kitchen cupboards open is a real thing. He doesn’t always do it and seems unbothered by it. For example if he’s unloading the dishwasher he’d think nothing of putting something away and leaving the cupboards open. I personally think it’s odd and couldn’t just walk out of a kitchen while loads of cupboard doors are open 🤷🏻‍♀️

What a stupid sod

Cupboards, drawers, gates. My DH leaves them all open. I used to go about closing them. Then I had an epiphany, can't recall exactly why. I just stopped. Also, his stuff left in odd places. I used to put things away. Now I just don't. Feels great. Can recommend. Also, when you get the "have you seen my xyz" questions all you do is 🤷‍♂️
Sorry, no idea. Keep looking love.

He should have been really sorry that he'd caused you to be hurt, not tried to defend his stupid actions.

When you drive over his foot in your car you can say “oh it’s normal for cars to be on the driveway . Why was your go out in the way?”

No it's not reasonable to leave cupboards open except when you are actually accessing the cupboard. Why on earth did he walk off and leave it open once he had what he needed? It's no effort at all to push a cupboard door shut and takes half a second.

My kids used to be terrible for leaving cupboard doors open and it drove me insane. I've drummed it out of them now. They would leave the doors open and then run through the kitchen playfighting. A couple of times they nearly ripped a cupboard door off. So there is that aspect as well as risk of injury.

My husband never did it thank god though my dad did, see also leaving drawers hanging open. If my mum complained he'd just say if you want it shut, do it yourself. I would honestly rather be single than live with that sort of selfishness.

This. Doubling down is a real dick move.

My husband constantly leaves cupboard doors open, the dishwasher open, drawers not quite pushed shut. I am quite short and hit my head on open cupboards. I mention it every single time . I honestly don’t know what goes on in his head sometimes, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not a lot. 40 years married, I’m sure I do things which annoy him but the cupboard doors thing is just weird. Started a few years ago, goodness knows why.

he says it’s reasonable to have cupboards open in a kitchen.

No it isn't unless you're right there getting something out. Then you close it.

What a dumbass response to getting put on the spot for doing something stupid and you got hurt.

Urgh to randomly leaving kitchen cupboard doors open and urgh to justifying his mistake instead of hugging you and apologising. Double urgh, in fact!

Looking around my kitchen I can see three cupboards I’ve left open/ajar. It’s not ok and I shut them I remember. Leaving them open is an annoyance.

leaving one open over the head of your spouse who is bent over the dishwasher and might hit her head as she stands up is fucking nasty.

I leave cupboards open. I don’t mean to but there is no malice in it. It was an accident

if I or my dh open a cupboard and the other is close by we cover the edge so the other doesn’t hit themselves on it. We don’t leave cupboards open after getting something out. That’s dickish.

Ok but there is malice in ‘blaming the person who banged their head’ instead of apologising, no?!

But there is malice in, if accidentally leaving a cupboard door open has caused your spouse to bang and hurt their head, not immediately saying “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you” instead of doubling down about why the door was open.

Years ago I remember a poster on here whose husband did it she thought deliberately. She used to then openly say my husband did it to me if asked re bruises. I recall a debate about whether it was appropriate for her to say that.
But in your case I’d say your husband had caused your injury.

I once heard a woman describe hitting her head on an open kitchen cupboard and sustaining a life changing concussion, it never left me and am very careful with cupboards now.

yanbu and hope you recover speedily.

Cupboard doors, microwave door, drawers, closet doors, kitchen cabinet doors - everything left ajar or wide open. Also jam jar lids resting on top of the jar. After repeatedly asking him why he does this, the best he can come up with is “what if someone needs to go in there after me, I’m helping”. No, he doesn’t make the bed or open curtains. Thinks it’s a waste of time. Has all his stuff scattered on his side of the bathroom, what’s the point in putting any of it away seeing as he’s just going to use it again. If ever we divorce it will be over this.

That said, he’d die of shame if he ever didn’t apologize because I smacked my head on a door he’d left open. And he’d say “hang on a sec, just getting a glass” before he opened the cupboard door if I were under it. Because he’s a decent human being.

I think it’s his lack of apology that has bothered me the most 😢 And if I’m being really honest this feels like a bit of a ‘straw that broke the camel’s back’ type scenario

Yanbu OP, I would be angry.

No one in my family turns off a light ever. Not DH, not the kids. I feel like I spend half my life turning off lights. No amount of going on about it makes any difference. The most annoying ones are in the storage cupboards. DH will open the door, turn on the light, get what he needs, close the door. I find myself checking them a couple of times a day because if DH has been in there, the light will be on.

Thoughtless. Also shitty for blaming you.

it’s reasonable to have cupboards open in a kitchen.

huh?!?
does he identify as a Poltergeist or something?

You can teach a toddler to shut a door, he's just being a twat.