Page 2 | AIBU to think this was really thoughtless?

Talltreesbythelake · 31/05/2026 14:28

Either stop emptying the dishwasher as it is "unsafe" and you don't feel able to offer that help in the kitchen any more or buy a door wedge from Amazon and keep it hidden in a drawer. You can wedge the kitchen door shut while you are working in there and "sorry, no entrance while I am busy," until he gets the message that he is careless and rude!

ThisTimeWillBeDifferent · 31/05/2026 14:43

Utterly twatty behaviour. There’s no need at all to leave cupboards open, and how someone could open it without at least a “mind your head” to let you know it’s open is baffling. The lack of apology is disgusting. Decent men care that they’ve hurt their spouse, even if it’s an accident.

Fraughtmum · 31/05/2026 14:47

Dh does this. Makes me so cross.

whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 31/05/2026 14:57

Query2026 · 31/05/2026 13:37

I’m in the kitchen bending down to unload the dishwasher. Unbeknown to me DH has opened the cupboard above me to get himself a glass and has left the cupboard door open.

I stand up and crack my head on the cupboard door. Very painful and results in a lump.

When I discuss this later with DH he says it’s reasonable to have cupboards open in a kitchen. I have said I think he was thoughtless and selfish because he could see i was below there unloading the dishwasher and I shouldn’t have to go hovering around checking whats above me. He said he just doesn’t think it’s a big deal.

AIBU to think this is not only thoughtless but also says something about how he views me?

Its thoughtless and lazy but I wouldn't read more into it, if it were just that. I hope he is atleast apologetic that you are hurt. I'm sorry you have a painful bump on your head - poor you!

Megifer · 31/05/2026 15:09

Weirdly my DP used to leave cupboards open, lids half closed meaning stuff would tip out of jars etc until the day I dropped a jar as the lid came off on my hand and the glass shattered. Nice trip to a&e for me for stitches all along my calf and it then later got infected and I had to spend 3 days in hospital. Fucking fuming isnt the word.

It just feels very "im too important and busy and manly to close things properly" doesnt it?

Prick. He doesnt do it anymore and felt awful and I still milk it now 15 years later when my giant scar hurts in the cold and I fume about it all over again 😂😡

GinaandGin · 31/05/2026 15:10

Bet he doesn't leave filing cabinet drawers open in work

SnappyQuoter · 31/05/2026 15:12

Query2026 · 31/05/2026 14:09

I think it’s his lack of apology that has bothered me the most 😢 And if I’m being really honest this feels like a bit of a ‘straw that broke the camel’s back’ type scenario

Go and tell him that. Tell him that you have really hurt your head due to his thoughtless behaviour and due to his obliviousness to the situation in front of him - he saw you and he knew that you would stand up once you’d lifted the next thing out the dishwasher. But he left the situation for you to be injured, and hasn’t shown you any concern or even looked sorry let alone said he was. Go and tell him that. Tell him that lack of care, concern and common sense to prevent injury is going to cost him a marriage.

StickChildNumberTwo · 31/05/2026 15:15

People leaving cupboard doors open does my head in, I tell them to shut them before the cupboard monsters escape. Doesn't really help but annoys them....

But leaving a cupboard open in a place where someone is almost certainly going to bash their head on it shows a very high level of thoughtlessness. Not to then acknowledge their fault in it is dreadful. I'm sorry you're hurt, hope the pain is easing and your DH sees the error of his ways and properly apologises.

WoollyHeadedMammoth · 31/05/2026 15:26

If the cabinet was actively in use - say he was removing all the dishes and placing them on the table and it took him several trips - then I see his point that there was a reason for it to be open and perhaps he thought you were aware that it was or would naturally be careful standing up in case it was. If he got something out of the cabinet and left it open even though he had no plans to use the cabinet again within the next few minutes, then of course he should have paid more attention and closed it. I can absolutely see this happening with no ill intent on his part, but the fact that he now wants to deflect blame and cite made-up "rules" rather expressing sympathy that you were hurt and agreeing to be more careful in the future is a little worrying.

Offherrockingchair · 31/05/2026 15:31

So he deliberately left it open, knowing you’d stand up into it and be hurt. That’s horrible. And potentially abusive! No one can be that stupid, so we have to conclude he did it on purpose, don’t we? What a horrid man!

Aparecium · 31/05/2026 15:36

WoollyHeadedMammoth · 31/05/2026 15:26

If the cabinet was actively in use - say he was removing all the dishes and placing them on the table and it took him several trips - then I see his point that there was a reason for it to be open and perhaps he thought you were aware that it was or would naturally be careful standing up in case it was. If he got something out of the cabinet and left it open even though he had no plans to use the cabinet again within the next few minutes, then of course he should have paid more attention and closed it. I can absolutely see this happening with no ill intent on his part, but the fact that he now wants to deflect blame and cite made-up "rules" rather expressing sympathy that you were hurt and agreeing to be more careful in the future is a little worrying.

Except that any reasonable person would say, “Mind your head, Query, the cupboard is open.”

RaininSummer · 31/05/2026 16:17

He's a wally. What does he actually think the doors are for as a bit pointless having them if they aren't closed.

Cooshawn · 31/05/2026 16:18

Its breathtakingly lazy to just not be arsed to close a cupboard door. He sounds like a gobshite.

Everleigh13 · 31/05/2026 16:21

If I was him I would be apologising profusely to you.

Ilovemyshed · 31/05/2026 16:32

AhBiscuits · 31/05/2026 14:13

Yanbu OP, I would be angry.

No one in my family turns off a light ever. Not DH, not the kids. I feel like I spend half my life turning off lights. No amount of going on about it makes any difference. The most annoying ones are in the storage cupboards. DH will open the door, turn on the light, get what he needs, close the door. I find myself checking them a couple of times a day because if DH has been in there, the light will be on.

Find a sparky and get them to fit a pneumatic time delay switch.

Feawen · 31/05/2026 16:44

Leaving the cupboard door open is thoughtless. Not apologising profusely after you got hurt because he left the cupboard door open is nasty. His thoughtlessness hurt you and he doesn’t care.

Is this a one off really crap day or is this a reflection of how he typically behaves towards you? Because I really wouldn’t want to live with someone who didn’t care if I got hurt.

LarksAscending · 31/05/2026 16:45

That was thoughtless and dangerous… I’d be furious. It’s one thing to leave a cupboard open but another to leave it open above a persons head at impact height without saying anything. What a nasty twat who can’t even reflect on his own idiocy and apologise for harming his wife.

NeedyLimeMember · 31/05/2026 16:46

Does he generally find it difficult to admit when he's made a mistake? (I think I already know the answer to this )

ThreadGuardDog · 31/05/2026 19:16

He’s an arsehole for leaving the cupboard door open - he only thinks it’s ‘reasonable’ because he can’t find another excuse for his laziness. He’s an even bigger arsehole for not apologising and effectively shifting the blame onto you when his actions hurt you. He’s lucky it wasn’t worse. Is he always so thoughtless and selfish ?

ThreadGuardDog · 31/05/2026 19:19

WoollyHeadedMammoth · 31/05/2026 15:26

If the cabinet was actively in use - say he was removing all the dishes and placing them on the table and it took him several trips - then I see his point that there was a reason for it to be open and perhaps he thought you were aware that it was or would naturally be careful standing up in case it was. If he got something out of the cabinet and left it open even though he had no plans to use the cabinet again within the next few minutes, then of course he should have paid more attention and closed it. I can absolutely see this happening with no ill intent on his part, but the fact that he now wants to deflect blame and cite made-up "rules" rather expressing sympathy that you were hurt and agreeing to be more careful in the future is a little worrying.

OP says he opened it to get himself a glass.

Evilkineavel · 31/05/2026 19:21

i have adhd and I leave cupboard doors open. I do try to remember but I’d say 10% of the time I forget.

fiveturds · 31/05/2026 19:22

What a thick person your DH is.

fiveturds · 31/05/2026 19:23

Evilkineavel · 31/05/2026 19:21

i have adhd and I leave cupboard doors open. I do try to remember but I’d say 10% of the time I forget.

But that’s fine - you won’t forget if there’s a person under it will you

Morepositivemum · 31/05/2026 19:28

He’s being an idiot for defending it but if ye are discussing something like this and you say it’s the straw that broke the camel’s back then I guess you were both more arguing about it which makes it a different thing. If this happened here I don’t think I’d bring it up again because I’d see it as an everyday accident

Weeellokthen · 31/05/2026 19:34

LTB, leaving cupboard doors open is unforgivable 😱😂who does this? Who are these people who do this and WHY?
Sorry you bumped your head x