Driving new car anxiety

[Annie2163]

Have had our Ford Fiesta for 14 years. It is a lovely car, and still actually have it haven’t sold it yet as been told I will get nothing for it, so better off keeping for now. Prior to this had driving lessons in a Clio so only two cars I’ve driven my entire life.

DH has been talking for a while for a new car and over half term we went to look around. It feels like a really quick decision but within 2 days we saw and bought a new car! It was his decision entirely and I don’t feel I had a say. Problem is this car is considered a “luxury” car and I’m terrified of driving it. DH is very protective of it. We’ve had it 1 day so far but I feel I will never be comfortable driving it. I feel so anxious. The fiesta is about to pack it in any second so I may not have a choice but I can’t even imagine driving the new car.

The thought of parking it in my work car park fills me with dread as the parking is limited so people double park etc. my fiesta has had a few scratches in work over the years but there’s no cameras in car park so I never bothered chasing it up. I’m having anxiety about driving the new car to work. Also school pick ups and drop offs how the heck will I do it? People often park on the pavement but will I damage the wheel alloys of the new car? What about going food shopping will it get scratches? I’m so anxious. Please talk me down! To add my fiesta is manual and very basic and this is automatic and seems like millions of controls and functions.

I did drive the new car around the block and my feet are so used to 3 pedals that I accidentally braked whilst trying to accelerate! DH was not happy! My Kids in back of car being funny and kept shouting “we’re all gonna die” 😂 My eldest has told me already he feels safer with dad driving and I shouldn’t drive it. It’s only been one day so I’m hoping I will get more confident.

my feet are so used to 3 pedals

When driving a manual car you use your right foot for brake and accelerate, peddles are in the same position so it shouldn’t be to hard to not mix them up. Your left foot becomes redundant because there is no clutch. You’ll get used to driving it quite quickly if you drive it often.
I understand the anxiousness around parking and scratches because I’m the same. Yeh it’s only a car but I’ve worked hard for a nice car and don’t want unnecessary expense of paying to fix scratches or dents because of careless and inconsiderate people. I usually park well away from shops etc wherever I can to avoid other parked cars.

This is similar to me. I had a Ford Fiesta, and cried like a baby the whole weekend before I traded it in. It was like losing a pet or something.

But the new car is bigger and fancier which scared me as I worried about tight spaces and damaging it but the tears rolled back up my face after driving the new one.

Modern cars are just so so much nicer. Smooth, piece of piss to drive, have mod cons like heated seats auto gearbox electric mirrors etc. Couldn’t go back now!

I was really nervous about driving an automatic the first time we had one and in the end it only took that first drive of 15 minutes or so to get used to it. It was the creeping forward by itself when you have it in drive that bothered me.

You'll be fine. Definitely best to take it out on your own. And parking should be easier as it will have a camera etc.

You need to drive it. Go somewhere quiet, industrial estate today? Practice parking, reversing etc. Don't worry about it getting damaged it's inevitable. A few years ago I had to start driving big cars out of necessity. Quite liked it in the end, bit like driving a tank!

Move your left foot away to the side/under the drivers seat for example, so you don’t accidentally use it for the brake thinking there is a clutch. I did the same as you driving an automatic for the first time in hitting the brake sharply. Fortunately it was a company car so not mine!

I went from a Fiat 500 to a great big car my husband bought me when my first was born.
Firstly it will get scratched, we don’t buy brand new cars so don’t have to worry about causing the first scratch but it is inevitable.
After a few drives in an automatic I actually found it easier than a manual once you remember your left foot just gets to take a nap.
Is there a reason you can’t keep the fiesta? A run around is handy sometimes. I remember taking my one week old second born to a hospital appointment and not being able to open the car doors or open the boot as the parking spaces were so tight- I had to squeeze the baby out the drivers door with me.

I got a new car about 2 years ago and at first I was petrified about damaging it and even driving it strangely enough. Took me at least 6 months to get properly used to it.

Automatics do take time to get used to though. I’ve driven them for so many years I couldn’t go back to a manual.

Put your left foot completely out of the way- if it’s not near the pedals you’re less likely to use it. Honestly, the switch to automatic will feel much easier once you’ve driven it ore or two more times.

Agree with PP that your husband isn’t helping, likewise your kids. Maybe try a few drives on your own. He doesn’t sound very supportive and the impression you give is that you’re scared of him rather than the car. Imagine that you scratched it- what is it about that idea that most bothers you? Is it the scratch itself or his reaction? I know you want to focus on the car not your marriage but if the thing worrying you is your husband’s reaction, nothing we say about the car is going to help.

Why not book a driving lesson with an automatic instructor and then another with same instructor in your own car. The independent person should help calm your worries.

You might scratch it. He’ll need to get over it. If you had no say in the decision he needs to accept potential consequences. Once it has a few scratches and scrapes then you can probably both relax a bit.

You will get used to it quickly but I would recommend taking it out on your own for some short journeys when it's not busy to practice parking and maneuvering. Having your kids shouting nonsense in the back and dh being judgemental is hardly going to help.

Go and find and empty supermarket car park and have a go at parking. Drive some of your usual routes. Do all of this at a quite time....this morning should be good. Make yourself use it once a day and I reckon you will be fine within a couple of weeks. Sitnon the drive way and fiddle with the buttons, work out where important things like fog lights, windscreen wipers, hazzard lights erc are. Play with the seat settings so you know what works for you. The automatic is actually much easier once you get used to it.

Automatics are considerably easier to drive than manuals so it won’t take you long to adjust.
But whilst you didn’t ask for opinions on your marriage, I do think it’s relevant to the issue here that your DH bought a car he wanted, seemingly with little regard for your opinion. And it appears that much of your anxiety centres about the fallout if you were to feel/be responsible if it gets damaged. Not to mention the family mocking you when you did take it out.

This! You wouldn't be so anxious if your husband weren't being an arse about it.

My husband recently passed his test, and I've accompanied him on a few drives whilst he gets used to my car.

He stalled the poor thing seven times and crunched the gears etc, but I didn't say anything, just calmly said it's ok. He's not likely to see you gain confidence if he's there chipping away at it!

Part of the anxiety is probably just because it’s a different car, regardless of whether it’s a “luxury” one or not. So things may be in a different place or unfamiliar. You don’t have to use any of the more complicated controls and functions, especially if you are mainly going to be driving it around town in short trips. As you get more familiar with it, then you’ll be able to figure out if and how you want to use any of the non-basic functions.

Definitely drive it on your own, and the children need to be told not to be so bloody rude about your driving, especially if they expect to be picked up and dropped off by you. I’m sure walking is an option for your eldest!

If you are driving it to work every day and also doing the school run, when is your DH actually driving the thing?

I echo what others say, go out in it on your own on a route you know well. eg drive the school run on a Sunday. Automatics really are fab once you get used to them. Make sure you spend plenty of time adjusting mirrors and seat. Learn how to use the hold button. I bet it has an electronic handbrake too, right? I found that a big change but it’s amazing not to have to release it when you pull off. Practice that in an empty car park or something.

I bet it has parking sensors and cameras too. Learn how to use those and you’ll realise how much easier they make everything. As for dings, my car actually brakes for me if it thinks I am too close to something when manoeuvring. Yours may well do the same.

Practice makes perfect.

Oh and tell your rude kids that their behaviour is NOT acceptable.

I was really nervous switching from a manual to an automatic but I absolutely love it. Especially the adaptive cruise control and parking camera. My car practically drives itself.

You do need to change your mindset a little though, this car will get scratches, chips, little dings from other doors. These things happen and there is just as much chance of them happening when your DH drives itself as there is when you drive it.

I passed my driving test about 6 months ago so while I can’t comment on the new car side of it, I get the feeling anxious bit. My advice is just get out there without your DH and kids first for some small drives and get over the nervousness. My DH is a nightmare in the car, a total backseat driver and constantly passes comment and I told him firmly that he either trusts me to drive or he doesn’t get in. You need to have confidence in yourself or you’ll make this a thing. You’re a safe driver I assume, and we’re grand in your previous car. You just need time to get used to the new one and you’ll be whizzing about in no time. And if it does get the odd scratch here and there it’s not the end of the world. It’s a piece of metal. Your DH will calm down when it’s not so new. Good luck

Why does almost every thread end up with assumptions the OP is having marriage issues?

You know nothing about the husband.

I bought a new car recently, I found TikTok really useful for learning about all the various controls etc. It’s the biggest car I’ve ever driven but is actually the easiest to drive and park because I took the time to research all the bits and bobs.

I hear ya!

After years of driving older manuals we got an automatic new car through notability (it’s also adapted for my ds to drive) and I was really anxious driving it.

Not least because it’s a lease car too!

But I was ok. DS taught me about all the tech stuff and 18 months in I’m still learning about some features.

I got use to driving auto quite quickly and actually love it now! (parking takes a while to master!)

Today is Sunday. Typically the roads are quieter so if you can go out alone for a good drive along quieter roads and familiarise yourself.

Agreed. This isn't just the car-OP, there's lots of good advice for learning to be confident in the new car, I like the instructor idea particularly, also, taking time to sit in it and learn where all the controls are.
Years ago, I went on holidays with my then partner and child. We used his car as it was bigger but there was always some reason I couldn't drive it. I absolutely hated the feeling of being stuck/helplessness. If I wanted to go and do something, we all needed to go as I couldn't drive the car.
Please, don't be me. Sit in the car, get used to it. Get the seat in the right place for you (some cars do this automatically depending which key is used). Learn how to move the steering wheel up and down to suit you. Go for lots of short drives.
Him buying a car like this? Very, very unhelpful.

Why does almost every thread end up with someone quoting a post having not read it properly?

Where did I say there were marriage issues?

I think it is quite obvious, however, how the husband makes the OP feel about driving his car.

The issue with him.being over protective will not help ur anxiety. I had a 2015 Fiesta that i recently changed for an automatic. It is a smaller car though. Tip re left foot, u will find there is a little platform inside on the left. Put ur foot on there and keep it on there- that's what the dealer told me

You will get used to it. You can drive a car so you can drive that car.
I was the same with an automatic, I hadn’t driven one for about 10 years and when I stopped I slammed my foot on to the brake. It took a while until my feet stopped trying to move and my hands went to the gear box. But I flit between automatic and manual now and I mange just fine.
Dh also has a high end ‘luxury’ car (the automatic) but I have another car that I can drive if I want to. He is ‘precious’ about the car and of course he doesn’t want it dented because I’ve parked it somewhere but if I’m just going shopping or popping somewhere I want to park in a tighter car park then I take the other car. If we didn’t have the car then he wouldn’t have any right to say anything about the car and nor would he.
It’s just a car and after a while the novelty wears off anyway