AIBU to think 33 is not too late to start TTC?

[Anxietiess]

To think 33, nearly 34 isn't too late to start TTC 1st baby?

Just looking for reassurance here. I've only just started feeling ready and wanting to have a child. We have a once in a lifetime holiday booked for early next year, so thinking of TTC after this. AIBU to think I've plenty of time? No medical conditions, fit and well, ovulating normally as far as I can tell.

The thing is OP, at any age it might take 1 try or it might take 10 years 🤷‍♀️ But if you are asking if generally it is too late, a quick google of the average age of first time mothers in the uk will tell you that it isn’t.

”I’m sure she’ll be fine” in the sense that statistically
speaking that is true. 90% of UK couples at age 33 conceive within 2 years.

The point is, she is already 33. She is seeking assurances for decisions she has already made.

What’s the point? Op wants to feel better about her decisions but only a fertility clinic can actually do that and even then with fairly wide margins of error.

DD1 at 33 DD2 at 37 like many of the PPs above

Wishing you luck

I don't think its too late. I had mine at 36 and 41, took 6 months to conceive both times.

I hadn't even met my DH at 33. Conceived first time aged 38 and have heard similar from various friends who have had babies in late 30s/early 40s. I would have liked more DC (which I didn't expect until I had them) and so wish I had started earlier but as said hadn't met DH.

It's a little late if you are looking at the average age of a first time mum in the UK. But it's not that late.

Of course, the older you are, statistically, the more likely it is that your fertility will start to drop off. It starts to fall in your early 30s and accelarates after 35 (on average of course, everyone is different)

So no one can tell you whether waiting will cause problems with conception. All we can say is, statistically, the older you are, the more likely you are to have problems. Plenty of people in their 30s conceive reasonably easily. But some don't.

I took 10 months to conceive my first child at 31. I took one attempt to conceive my second child at 32. I got pregnant by accident while on the pill at 35. So who knows how age will affect you.

But it's very normal to have a child in your 30s, and you are right to wait until you feel ready. But it would be unfair to say 'you'll be absolutely fine' because no one can know that for sure, at any age!

Definitely not. I was pregnant at 34, 36, 38 and 42 all in the first month of trying.

I obviously know that I can't go by others anecdotal data, and yes I can't turn back time to start earlier (& wouldn't want to). As I said, in my original OP I was looking for reassurance. If I could pause my biological clock, I'd wait another 5 years!

So what?

After 35 you are more likely to miscarry and more likely to have a baby with chromosonal abnormalities.

Yes we can have babies when we want but we cant pretend that it doesn't come with additional risks.

I honestly think I only know one person who was 33 or younger when they had their first. Most of my friends and neighbours late 30s is the norm.

Lots of women have waited and everything has been fine too. You can choose to wait 5 years.

Sorry, but how rude do you have to be to post this?

I wouldn't want to wait until I was in my late 30s unless I had no choice. I'm just illustrating I suppose I feel constrained by my biology (I want a child, but don't feel broody per se).

I genuinely don’t understand these threads.
Lots of people have babies at that age and beyond, but the only way to find out whether it’s late for you is to try. We’d need a crystal ball to answer this.
I had my one and only at just gone 33 with no difficulty.
My sister who is a few years younger than me started trying a couple of years before me and it never happened for her and her partner.
Out of the two of us she is far more fit and healthy too.
It is probably not “too late” for you but if there are problems you want as much time as possible to try to work around them.

Because the NHS defines over 35 as a geriatric pregnancy.

The NHS defines 35 and over as advanced maternal age. Last time I checked, 33 was still younger than 35.

More importantly, a risk category beginning at 35 isn't evidence that 33 is "quite late." It just means risks start to increase gradually with age, not that women suddenly become old mothers two years beforehand.

I had KNOWN fertility issues and I still waited until I was 32 to even begin trying - I wasn't even vaguelly ready for a baby before.

I have long thought that Meghan Markle and Prince Harry had read all the "oh my god, once you're 35 you can't have a baby" bullshit and so started trying on honeymoon - and BANG, baby 9 months later! .

My only comment would be that if nothing has happened after 6 months, start the process of getting assessed as even doing that privately, it can take significant amounts of time. And the doctor who helped us to conceive told me that in a normal, healthy couple having sex at the right time, average time to conception is 3 months. For couples with fertility issues, it's seldom less than 18 months and rises significantly beyond that. Which is where this random "the average amount of tiem to get pregnant is 6 months" theory comes from but is actually in her words, "completely rubbish". She was quite passionate about it! .

Somewhat amusingly, I got pregnant without intervention the second time.... at the six month mark!

Not read the whole thread. I had my first at 33, which definitely should not count as 'late'!!!

That said - I ended up with two dc when I would have loved a third, but with a couple of miscarriages in amongst the pregnancies it all took too long.

I wasn't comfortable trying for a third at 40+ with the greater risks of problems, so we stopped, but if we'd originally started TTC a year or two earlier, we might have had a chance of having three children.

Holidays of a lifetime are also important, of course, but it's something to think about if you think you might want more than one or two dc.

I'm happy with once DC and definitely two tops so not too concerned about that :) the holiday of a lifetime is booked and paid for (& much awaited to see a missed friend)

Of course it’s not too old 🤦🏼‍♀️

I didn’t even consider having a baby till 35, despite being with DH for 15 years before that. Thankfully got pregnant first cycle. Then surprise pregnancies at 38 and 42.

I always feel sorry for anyone getting pregnant in their 20s. So much wasted opportunity and freedom!!

Well you can. Freeze your eggs

but if you want to wait another 5yrs doesn’t sound like you really want kids