AIBU to think 33 is not too late to start TTC?

[Anxietiess]

To think 33, nearly 34 isn't too late to start TTC 1st baby?

Just looking for reassurance here. I've only just started feeling ready and wanting to have a child. We have a once in a lifetime holiday booked for early next year, so thinking of TTC after this. AIBU to think I've plenty of time? No medical conditions, fit and well, ovulating normally as far as I can tell.

It would feel old for me. I would try asap rather than delaying for a holiday but a couple of family members couldn’t conceive even with ivf and seeing them struggling makes me want to warn people it’s not a given. Both of them are childless and happy now in their 50s btw.

Absolutely fine! If you were asking this question in 10 years time, I would say definitely no. But 33 is fine!

I was 33 amd conceived dd first time. I also conceived at 38 first time trying for second dc, sadly ended in miscarriage and then conceived my ds 2 months after. So it turned out generally OK for us but for a couple of my friends it didn't and they turned to ivf to conceive. I guess you don't really know until you try.

Agreed, except I'd wouldn't say 'not ready' as I made a choice not to consider parenthood under 35.

Where is your once in a lifetime holiday to? If its a zika risk, that will potentially delay your TTC by another 6months. How would you feel about that? We switched our honeymoon from the Maldives to Mauritius so that it didnt
delay us any further.

I had DDs at 34 and 37 - we started trying at 32 but I have PCOS so we always knew it was going to be a trickier route and we did need fertility treatment in the end. If you dont want to TTC before the holiday, then it doesnt really matter what any of us think as it is what it is. As long as you have considered all the options (eg. you could be successful the first month or you could end up going the ivf route). Good luck!

I was just 38 when my son was born. Partner 45 with 2 children already. I hadn't met anyone I would have had children with before meeting him. Downside is you're menopausal with a teenager. So what. Go for it.

My mum married at 34 and had me 9 months later.

I started at 34 had 4 miscarriages, had my LG 6 months away from my 40th, unfortunately you never know what road blocks your going to come to until the ttc journey begins.

33 is a very standard age to start trying (I did at 32)

Get married and have hols, honeymoon, life etc. But don't equate that with having a family. I didn't get married to have a family, love is the reason. Kids are a bonus

The thing is, it can take years when yo u start in your 20s too. Some of those people who struggled when they finally started in their 30s would always have had a difficult time.
I had ds1 at 33 after some years trying, but also, I never got pregnant accidentally (thank god!) despite being shit with contraception and having had sex in and off from 17. If I had someone else's fertility I reckon I'd have needed up pregnant in my early 20s.

We started at 31 and it took us 3 years with our first. Second baby conceived at 37 and only took 2 months. I wouldn’t leave it much longer if I were you but you’re not planning to anyway.

Absolutely not BU. I started ttc at 34. It took a while, I had been on the depo jab for 10 years.

Had dc1 a few weeks before my 38th birthday, dc2 at 39.

This is exactly what has happened within my friendship group too, except I was the 28 year old that had the shock pregnancy haha

No, not too late at all. I had my third at 33. I’d get cracking though, your fertility ain’t going anyway but down.

There’s no perfect time where everything is aligned.
If it were me and I knew I was with the right person I wouldn’t deliberately delay.
As a minimum I’d pay for a full fertility MOT check for both.

I met DH when I was 25 and we didn’t TTC until I was 40. We now have a wonderful DS.

We were probably lucky through as no guarantee at that age. 33 sounds fine to me.

Sorry, but how dense do you have to be to post this?

It isn't really about naivety so much as luck.

It is absolutely fine for many.

The truth is we never know if we have fertility issues until we try.

If you do, then yes, it is late, but in that case you may have struggled at 23. Or you may be fine at 43 ...

I think the most accurate answer is if there is an issue, the difference between 33 and 34 will not be make or break. Is that what you are really asking (about the holiday)?

It's to NZ so no Zika risk just a long way and a very active holiday planned :)

Well, what other choice do you have? What if people said yes it’s too late. You can’t turn back time can you?

And it’s not that important if you’re prioritising holidays first. You are clearly making a plan that suits you.

I’m sure you’ll be fine and if you’re not, that’s life.

Completely normal in my world. No one here can tell you if it will happen or not. I’d recommend coming off any hormonal contraceptives in advance so your natural cycle can come back; and you can track jt. Use condoms until you are ready. Remember a year is normal, dont panic or obsess too much. It’s better to be prepared for it to take a while - that doesnt mean anything js wrong. And obviously remembering how common miscarriages are, having a miscarriage meant it took an extra 8-9 months before we had our daughter. Also doesnt mean anything is ‘wrong’. I’d start trying whilst you are on your trip!

Obviously…

Your post is interesting where you say that you're sure she'll be fine, on what basis are you sure?

Threads like these are baffling to me, no one's fertility is affected by anyone else's experience, so what if I know someone who had three healthy children over the age of 40?

If the OP has trouble conceiving is she going to say to the doctors, loads of mumsnet posters told me it would be fine, what's the problem?

There's an overwhelming amount of stats online to look up but again no use in predicting an individual's future

I was 33 and 35 when I had mine. No problems at all. But you won’t know until you start trying. Also it’s not just down to you. You need healthy sperm too.