Allow a play date where mum unapologetically supports children’s education tax

[GigglyOrange]

Just this really, our local independent prep school closed due to the education tax earlier this year and has caused absolute chaos for lots of families, including my own. My dd (6) has been invited for a play date with a girl she seems very friendly with and who seems very sweet, but I’ve since found out from another parent that the mum is an ‘unapologetic education taxer’. My instinct is to cancel the play date, AIBU?

But it’s worth the drive to not have your child mix with the children of parents who support an education tax. If OP really cared she would have found a new independent school for her child. OP shouldn’t be working as her husband should be earning enough for her to be a SAHM and to pay for school fees so the length of the drive is irrelevant as OP can spend her day doing the school run. She can pay for a cleaner etc to do the house work.
I don’t think OP can afford the 20% rise so that’s why she’s annoyed, distance is irrelevant.

You're free to draw whatever lines you wish, OP. You don't have to associate with anyone if you choose not to. It doesn't sound like it will be any great loss to the other family if you choose not to socialise with them. Your values are clearly incompatible anyway.

It isn't an education tax though. It's just VAT on private school fees, like there is VAT on other luxury products and services. I presume you are aware that state schools offer education that is free of charge?

Phew . What a long thread which is unpleasant in parts.
For what it's worth I'm against the education tax. It has failed. It hasn't produced over 6,000 extra teachers. It has dumped more kids into an overburdened state system. Not saying any more on that.
Round here we would just shrug our shoulders and say that the playmate mum was a bloody leftie. That's OK.
She is not going to slag your daughter off. No mother suggests a playdate in order to insult a child.
She is probably curious and may ask your daughter about her old school.
Let the playdate happen. You may find the other mum is OK. She is being kind by offering the playdate.
Your daughter will probably find new friends over the coming years. It's no big deal.
It is possible to have friends with different political views

Comments like this don’t give me a very good impression of your education - calling someone stupid because she disagrees with you and may be politically active - and I write that as a Russell Group academic.

This post is inappropriate

How is it an ‘education tax’ and how is it paid by children? You are talking complete rubbish here.

That’s one way of looking at it, the other way is keeping the peace. Do you think someone who supports taxing children’s education is going to be reasonable when I tell her I disagree? I don’t think so, it’s just a little white lie to avoid drama.

So, op lets get this straight. You, and other private school parents are happy to psy to disadvantage other people's children, but you thonk it's unethical to pay vat on that?

What's the education tax?

@GigglyOrange can you explain this please?

Exactly. She can respond to the invitation and decline it honestly by making it clear that their views are incompatible. Only the OP suggested that an honest refusal would involve calling the other mother stupid.

Even then - my eldest is at a private school and I agree with the VAT - she’ll have to be selective even amongst other parents!

There is no education tax - the OP is using an emotive but misleading term to refer to VAT on private school fees.

A balanced, sensible post.

It's not a little white lie. It's an outright lie because you aren't able to tell the truth. You're also happy to involve your daughter in dishonesty.

It’s a 20% tax on education or vocational training provided to children aged 5 to 18. So if its £20k fees then the child fee payer will pay £4K to HMRC

www.gov.uk/guidance/vat-on-education-and-vocational-training-notice-70130

Best just accept the people all have different opinions.

Isn’t that because schools have passed it on by increasing their fees to cover it?

I genuinely feel for families that have had to pull their children from school due to closures or fee increases but that’s life. My DC don’t go to a private school because I can’t afford it.

You wouldn’t expect someone to cover your mortgage if you couldn’t afford the interest rate rise, you’d downsize. It’s a similar concept.

Part of me feels uncomfortable that it’s possible to by a better education and money means more opportunities. Again, it’s life or we would be in a communist society.

The child fee payer?

Your children pay their own private school fees?

Yes, I don’t people what I think of them all the time unless I think it will benefit anybody or the situation . In this case it won’t help anyone

Only you suggested that an honest refusal would involve calling the other mother stupid.

Mine don’t but I’ve heard some do through a trust, not sure if it’s true. Its mainly parents paying

Why are so many people engaging in this obvious rage bait. In real life no one is this socially obnoxious!

How? The OP doesn’t want her child mixing with children whose parents have different views from hers. As it’s to do with VAT on private schools it makes sense for the OP to send her child to a private school where she’s less likely to encounter parents with different views. OP lacks commitment to get her child into another independent school or she lacks the finances.

You're being very unreasonable - if you can't cope with people who have different opinions from your own then don't invite anyone, ever.

Having said that I thought the education tax was unecessarily spiteful and didn't raise a lot of tax since the state will now pay for many kids in state schools who would have been at private schools, funded by their parents. But I'm happy to entertain people who disagree with me, as long as they're good company in other ways!