Called DP a disrespectful **** in front of our friends

[Seasidescarl]

Views welcome on if I was OTT, this is a couple we are very close with for context. Over dinner at at a restaurant last night , we saw a group walk past who were all in ‘costume’, some sort of odd animal get up, onesies etc. We had a chuckle.

My friend jokingly said that is a normal night in the bedroom for us - to which my DP replied we never do dress up and ‘the most she allows is a finger up the arse’. I replied unkindly- swore at him and he said he was joking.

He claims I’ve had a sense of humour failure and over reacted in front of friends. WIBU?

It comes from porn.

Men see that and think that’s what sex is.

It’s why so many are so shit in bed. They expect a woman to start moaning as soon as they see a dick.

No but she hasn’t clarified or denied it. So why the twee - whatever it was that she said, why can’t she just put the word?

@Seasidescarl Was ‘cunt’ the word you used?

Bloody hell - no need for that. Are you like this with everyone as there could be a pattern…

This is corrosive porn-addled horseshit that shouldn’t go unchallenged, imo. Sex that doesn’t involve choking, slapping, spitting etc is objectively better, healthier and safer than sex that does. Labelling harmful behaviour a “kink” doesn’t stop it from killing and disabling people (predominantly women, surprise surprise). No, it’s not new. Neither is domestic violence, neither is rape, neither is non-sexual choking, slapping and spitting. It was wrong 500 years ago, it was wrong in the 1960s and it’s wrong now.

Does referring to it justify calling your partner a cunt? If so I presume it’s okay for a man to call a woman that as well

Cunt is just a word 🤷🏻‍♀️ and misogyny is the reason for its fearsome reputation. I can’t get excited about it. It doesn’t kill women.

I don’t have an issue with the word as I use it plenty myself.

The point is that if a woman comes on MN and says her partner called her a cunt then apparently is a LTB situation. Double standards

Unless you’ve seen me personally say that, then I’m unsure of why you’re addressing this point to me

I was addressing it in general several times on this thread. I’m sorry if you feel singled out

You quoted my post and asked me directly. It was odd.

Perhaps it is to you, and that’s fine. I didn’t have a go at you. Feel free to ignore my comments if it helps

Yes, I think that’s probably best.

Deleted

If you think it's bad calling someone a kunt to their face when they're being a kunt, you really must be OTT and take offence to pretty much anything because that's wild saying she's "just as bad". He was a mouthy twat and embarrassed her infront of friends and deserved to be called that. Stop being such a prude over a word 🙄

Not at all, if someone’s being one, regardless of sex, then they deserved to be called it. It’s just a word, the fact some women chose to take such offence to it is on them, get over yourselves and quit acting so hard done by bloody hell 😂 Someone says to me Stop being such a bitsh or stop being such a kunt, I take them the exact same way, they’re just words, why chose to be dramatic and offended over words?? 😂 (spelling wrong on purpose btw)

This conversation was always going to go wrong.

Has the comment where OP called him a cunt been deleted as I can't see it?

Oh so youre allowed to not have an issue with it, but the rest of us must go along with this double standard youre claiming 'mumsnet' has? What makes you so special? To me context is everything.

Not sure why you are going at me in particular - I’m not having a go at anyone, just pointing out double standards 🤷‍♀️

Its being assumed because of the coy

I’m agreeing with you… I use those words and don’t find them offensive.

Why spell them deliberately wrong? There aren’t swear filters on here 😬

"typical night in the bedroom" comment = typical dry British humour, very low on the smutology scale

"finger up the Aris" comment = attempt at humour that 'misread the room' and overstepped the mark (see below too 👇)

use of the C-word = never classy, whoever uses it

** unless (and here's a radical theory), he was referring to one of the people dressed as an animal, who, in a visit to the vet, might be subjected to such an investigation, with the vet's finger (but I don't think it is this 😂)

I wouldn’t be happy if my husband brought up our sex life in front of friends regardless of how close you all are that is something that should remain between the two of you should you have called him what you did I am not going to get in to that all of us are different and use language differently I think you are valid to be extremely annoyed at him for what he has said in front of friends

This is the most disgusting thing I ve heard all day; I know we live in a progressive society bit this has no place at the dinner table, no matter who's sat there. This would be emotional betrayal if you're in love with that person and have given them nothing but kindness. Maybe he's priming you for some even worse conversations in the future. I would be getting my ducks in a row and saving money secretly for when or IF I bolt.