Was I inappropriate to request this from my dentist?

[plos]

I have to be sedated for some dental work I have coming up. I like and trust my dentist. But I just feel very vulnerable as a woman being in that position. So I requested my husband be with me when I’m out of it. Just for peace of mind. The dentist definitely gave off the vibe that what I was asking was odd. I didn’t go into the why. I was told it was not possible

was it that weird to ask? I do err on the side of caution. I watch too much true crime probably. When we had IVF I asked that my husband stayed with his sample. I was paranoid that his sample would be swapped. This was definitely a direct result of watching the doc where the dr used his own. And to be fair the clinic allowed it.

But anyway. I think if a woman feels vulnerable (given the level of abuse women encounter) then I should be able to request safeguards

Presuming there is another member of staff in the room, you are being unreasonable. I have never been to see a dentist when there hadn't been a dental nurse present and more than one when I had sedation.

YABU because there will be at least one dental nurse in the room as well.

I have no idea if this would or should be allowed OP but I don’t think asking is unreasonable.

given the well documented experience of women throughout time immemorial it is not difficult to wonder why a female patient might request this and some of the aggressive responses on this thread are more disturbing to me than your question.

This is outing but I worked for the largest dental provider in Europe and when I worked there we had a case where a dentist made the news because of what he did to children alone in the surgery.
It wasn’t unreasonable to ask, and you shouldn’t have been made to feel that way. Dentist isn’t unreasonable saying no but should validate your feelings.

Why is a hygienist different from a dentist?

I have always had a dental nurse in with me for a dentist visit but never had anyone in with me for a hygienist visit.

I have never thought of this before!

If its sedation in an actual dental practice you won't be very heavily sedated, and there will be 2 nurses present at all times. You won't be alone, sedated with the dentist.

Your DH can usually be with you up to the point of sedation but family members usually leave at the point you are sedated because essentially onlookers tend to get in the way/faint and its an additional thing the dentist has to concentrate on.

They should always offer a female chaperone when you’re under anaesthetic/sedated
Did they offer that? It’s weird if they didn’t and didn’t want your DH there

I’ve never been to a dentist without a dental nurse being present. That should be enough. You won’t be alone.

Is your hygienist female?

You know the dentist won't be the only person in the room right?

I was sedated for dental treatment not that long ago and in addition to the dentist there was a dental nurse and and the person administering the sedation. It was a very crowded room! My partner was brought in as soon as I came round

If a parent would be allowed to stay with their child, then there is no good reason why your husband couldn’t stay with you. If your dentist is saying no, that would make me suspicious

Yes if you are being sedated then there has to be be someone there responsible for monitoring that.

It will be a minimum of two people in the room already, and three if it's IV sedation.

Bringing in unnecessary people gets in the way and increases risk. I would understand if there was only the dentist in the room but that's not the case.

The reason is legal consent.

A legal guardian has to be present for a child to provide ongoing consent to treatment as children do not have legal capacity.

If an adult with mental capacity has given written consent to the procedure then they don't need another adult present to provide ongoing consent.

nope Google Colin Howell.

Just as if you were having an operation your husband wouldn’t be allowed in, similar thing here.
a dental nurse will be present with you at all times.
don't you trust this dentist ? If not then they shouldn’t be your dentist.
you husband can wait in the waiting room to bring you home.

I have no idea but I assume it’s because someone being sedated can cause stress for someone who isn’t a medical professional witnessing it, and they don’t want to spend time distracted by having to pacify a non patient when trying to do something important.

I remember having dental work under sedation as a child, I had a cough at the time and my mum ended up completely distressed and crying because she was convinced I was possibly choking. I wasn’t.

I also had sedation as an adult, you’re not actually fully unconscious but you don’t remember it afterwards and the dentist told me I kept thrashing my arms and trying to grab the tools which also probably would be quite alarming to someone who isn’t used to seeing it.

Is this at the hospital for extensive work OP? It is not typical for general anaesthetic to be administered at the dental practice.

Sedation ( a separate thing to a general anaesthetic, doesn't render a person unconscious, you will remain conscious and able to communicate. the intention is to relax the patient so that more significant dental work can be undertaking more easily.

I do understand your concerns and don't think it's unreasonable to query this if you were being fully sedated with only the dentist present in the room, but this is not something that would or should happen as professional standards dictate that a dental nurse will be present to both assist the dentist and for safeguarding purposes. If under GA at the hospital there will be several parties present in the room during the procedure.

I won't pretend to be obtuse to your valid concerns about what it's like to be a woman in a potentially vulnerable medical scenario but I think a bit more information about the actual set up is needed to fully understand this.

If you are having sedation there will be at least three people in the room with you , so chaperoning will not be a problem.

It is a problem having other people in treatment room for sedation as often the reason for sedation can mean there are surgical proceedures with sterile fields necessary and bringing another person in and gowning up is both a risk and another layer of complexity (instructions to accompanying person about not touching surfaces etc

also many people find dental/surgical proceedures difficult to witness and that can manifest in different ways from fainting to becoming aggressive. We had one case where a child was having a tooth out and had no problems but the two parents who accompanied both fainted in front of the doors , blocking them and preventing more staff coming in to help out.

What would be better is to ask about the chaperoning and safeguarding at the dentists and , perhaps, seeking some CBT or other help for the anxiety over proceedures which must be draining to say the least .

If you don't trust the Dentist, then you're at the wrong Dentist

Should you feel out of it with sedation? I had sedation for a different procedure last week and didnt feel any different.

There should be a dental nurse there.

This. Find another one.

I wasn’t allowed to stay with my 8 yr old DD recently during dental sedation. I think from a dentist perspective it’s the same as being in an operating theatre.

therell be other staff there. We had the dentist, a nurse and an anaesthetist

Did they not explain when you asked that the nurse would be in the surgery?

GPs always ask now if I want a chaperone for any examination. I imagine dentists are equally strict about this. I haven’t been alone with a dentist for decades, not even for a check up.