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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for feeling a bit sad and hating myself

52 replies

gloriousday34 · 28/05/2026 20:34

AIBU to feel upset by this comment from a friend on holiday?

Currently away with a friend in and something happened that’s really got under my skin.

Earlier in the day I had a big meal to myself. Yes it was big, but I’m on holiday and I never normally let myself eat stuff like that at home i follow diet plans I run 6 days a week and do Pilates. I’ve also had a difficult relationship with food/body image for years (i dont think she fully knew thr extent of it being bulimia)

Later on we were doing a group wine tasting strangers and there was a platter on the table. A man jokingly offered me some and I laughed and said “I’m saving calories.”

My friend then loudly went “well she wasn’t saving them earlier!” and started going on about the “ginormous” plate of food I’d eaten earlier. I tried to laugh it off and said “showing pictures isn’t needed” because she’d taken photos of it earlier, but she doubled down saying “no it definitely is, look at the size of hers compared to my tiny meal!”

I then said something like “it’s fine, I run at home anyway” and she replied “not running here though are you!”

I felt genuinely embarrassed and exposed, especially in front of strangers. It wasn’t so much one joke, more that she kept going after I literally said dont get the picture out.

I did tell her afterwards because she said i seemed off that I didn’t appreciate it and she said sorry, but it was more of a ah shit sorry and she’s never properly mentioned it again, which is probably why it still bothers me.

Part of me thinks I’m being oversensitive and another part thinks alcohol exposed a side I’d never seen. We drink among people we know and ive never seen this. It’s just made me not eat properly since

AIBU?

OP posts:
JJkate · Yesterday 07:48

Hi OP, I've got a big appetite but generally eat v healthy stuff and am v slim. I've had people comment on the size of my portions before (often big people or people who struggle with food) and it doesn't bother me in the slightest as I don't have an issue with food or my weight. But I can imagine that if I did, these comments could hurt. I would say let this one go, especially as she was drinking, sometimes our filter is not as good when we've had a drink.

JJkate · Yesterday 07:51

I remember once a young woman I knew was telling me about something that had happened and she said it made her angry. I made a daft joke about "you wouldn't like me when I'm angry" (the hulk) it was completely harmless and silly but she took it v personally and told me off as she seemed to think I'd made a comment about her weight or something. It was not my intention at all but she's obviously the sort of person who thinks everyone is judging her weight and size all the time. She was a size 12 for reference.

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