To be pissed off by husbands reaction

[Allthedays1]

Was making dinner earlier. We have an open plan kitchen lounge with sink in the middle. I accidentally set the baking paper on fire on the gas flame all along the side of it. . Start saying "fire fire" husband doesn't move or anything. I chuck it in the sink and manage to put it out. He still says nothing. Then is all " oh is there a fire? I didn't see it". Still doesn't get up till I ask him to open the windows so the smoke alarms don't go off. Still says " he didn't see it. Our daughter pipes up " I saw it". The room now stinks.

Then son comes down for dinner and I mention just had a fire and he asks how big it was and my husband says " oh like a candle"
Which isn't true, when I say why have you said that he's " I'm joking" you're so dramatic".

I find it really undermining he always says " I'm joking" he will say every couple of months to our son that " he wish he never had kids" but oh he's joking...

Why start drama over a bit if kitchen stupidity?

Wow none of that sounds ok OP. Sounds like he's really checked out of family life.

How is he in general? Would you say you work together as a team, or is he just.. there, but not really present?

I’d say maybe you need to go to comedy classes. And if he says anything back say im just joking no need to tantrum

I mean I literally did the same earlier, just blew it out. DH then came in and moved the same tray and set the other side of the baking paper on fire, no drama there either.

Bit dramatic on your part to be honest.. not like the kitchen was on fire, a bit of baking paper

so yes you are unreasonable in your reaction.

My thing is more he didn't believe me that there was a fire.

I think you’re being melodramatic in this instance but it sounds like there’s more to this story….

I don’t see him saying he didn’t believe you just that he didn’t see it and it wasn’t a big deal, which it wasn’t.

I'm getting the vibe from this post alone that neither of you like eachother. The only part that really stood out to me was him saying he wishes he didn't have kids then saying he was joking. I know one person in particular who used to say exactly what they meant then say "joking!" After, so that they couldn't be held accountable. They're not joking.

It feels like you were actively seeking a reaction from him because you want to feel cared for, yet his nonchalant, mocking response just reinforced that he doesn't care. That, coupled with his hilarious 'joke' that he wishes he didn't have kids says it all.

I would have a serious chat between you both about the status of your marriage and where to go from here, if this were me. Do you communicate well with eachother? Have you had these sorts of conversations before? You need to.

This thread was three minutes of my life I won't get back...

YABU. And overdramatic.

There wasn't a fire. There was a bit of paper that caught light, your house didn't burn to the ground. Bit of water and all sorted.

You are being ridiculous and deliberately looking for a fight with him.

My thoughts also.

Im sure he did but knew all you had to do was put it in the sink. Hardly a catastrophe or panic situation. What did you expect
him to do - leap up and grab the fire extinguisher, get the kids out the house and call 999?

😂 YABU.

It just sounds like wasn’t paying attention to what was going on in the kitchen- we all have moments where we zone out. It was all fine though wasn’t it? So no biggie, no need to get pissed off

This is about more than a bit of paper setting alight and being extinguished in the sink (not THAT rare an occurrence in our house).
Because in and of itself it reads as nothing. Except the last part about him saying he wishes he had never had kids and then saying he’s joking. That’s vile.

he will say every couple of months to our son that " he wish he never had kids" but oh he's joking...

This is completely unacceptable for him to say to your children. He’s being nasty and then sneering at you that he’s “joking” to shut down your response.

Personally I consider it abusive to repeatedly tell your children that you wish you’d never had them.

Crikey your dramatic and tbh my dad saying in a joking way all our years how peaceful life would be etc jokingly with no kids was exactly a joke in a back and forth usually and didn't affect me or any of my many siblings as we adore him as adults so again I don't find that bothersome either...being nit picky doesn't make a marriage work

Six of one, half dozen of the other 🤷‍♀️

If it wasn't enough to set the fire alarms off it must have en very minimal OP. Less than a burnt sausage!

A whole lot of drama over a whole lot of nothing.

A fire 😂 it was a piece of paper sorry op Yanbu and over dramatic.

Dis you?

He knows there was a fire. He saw it. It wasn’t a big deal. He’s not prepared to make a big deal of it.

This continual making fun or demeaning partners or children then saying 'only joking' 'have you lost your sense of humour' 'can't you take a joke' pisses me off to such a level that when people do it to their partner in front of me I always say 'well I didn't find it funny either' and if it's regular I distance myself from them. I find it exceptionally abusive.
This OP comes across a bit of a mountain and mole hill if read literally, but the undercurrent is it's just another example of a women being undermined then being justified with she is 'all drama' or 'can't take a joke'.