To be pissed off by husbands reaction

[Allthedays1]

Was making dinner earlier. We have an open plan kitchen lounge with sink in the middle. I accidentally set the baking paper on fire on the gas flame all along the side of it. . Start saying "fire fire" husband doesn't move or anything. I chuck it in the sink and manage to put it out. He still says nothing. Then is all " oh is there a fire? I didn't see it". Still doesn't get up till I ask him to open the windows so the smoke alarms don't go off. Still says " he didn't see it. Our daughter pipes up " I saw it". The room now stinks.

Then son comes down for dinner and I mention just had a fire and he asks how big it was and my husband says " oh like a candle"
Which isn't true, when I say why have you said that he's " I'm joking" you're so dramatic".

I find it really undermining he always says " I'm joking" he will say every couple of months to our son that " he wish he never had kids" but oh he's joking...

This is too much 🤦🏾‍♀️.

Are you normally quite dramatic, he could be weary of it, that happens quite easy when folks are drama llamas.

You have said your DH checked out in 2024. Not sure why you expected anything different here. Did he have headphones on?

Well he was right, because there wasn’t “a fire”. A bit of baking paper caught light and you chucked it in the sink. Sounds like you’re quite dramatic regularly and he’s learned not to react to it tbh. The kids think is completely unrelated and not really sure why you’ve included it in this thread.

I’m not sure I’d call your baking paper having a few flames an actual fire.
The smoke alarms didn’t even have a chance to go off.

You sound very dramatic and if this happened to me I would just laugh about it.

I’m guessing this is just one example of your DH who isn’t as involved in family life as you hoped or something.

Fire fire 🤣🤣🤣

I don’t think this is about the “fire” is it?

If he’s constantly undermining you, and even telling the kids “I wish I didn’t have kids” - his latest reaction has brought all your resentment up.

Why are you mad when you set the fire and you put it out.

It doesn’t matter what the drama or lack thereof was. What matters is that you don’t like each other. Someone said upthread that it’s been going on for years. What are your options?

Well there wasn’t a fire was there…

It sounds like he was nice and cosy where he was and was confident you could handle it. And so he avoided doing anything. It sounds like the sound of you pottering about was too comforting and relaxing. Like a teenager leaving things to mom to handle because she always does!

As in, the resident woman speaks, I tune her out.
I had this with a male I once had to share a home with for a short space of time.

It doesn't sound like you needed assistance with the paper because all you had to do was put in the sink, so a bit dramatic but I can see how you felt a bit rejected maybe, at the lack of response.
I wouldn't be happy with my husband saying to the children that he wished he didn't have them that's an awful joke.

You managed to cope by yourself what did you want him to do?

Waste of internet data.

This! And if you are always this dramatic about minor things perhaps thats why he doesnt react. It would be exhausting

The comments about wishing he didn't have kids are unacceptable

I think the fire is a red herring. It didn’t require a dramatic response. However, if he’s continually undermining you and you’re unhappy in the relationship, that’s obviously not ok.

I'm not saying this to be a dick but if you are generally a bit dramatic (as this post does suggest a bit) maybe your husband is a bit worn down with it?

I say this as someone who is married to a slightly dramatic person. I don't always turn round or react when he sighs or says "owwwww" loudly because it's usually such a minor thing. I know that probably makes me a dick but I'm busy and don't always have time to give him attention for tripping over a shoe

If that happend to me I would just move it to the sink and turn the tap on. Wouldn't shout fire or even mention it to anyone.

What a lot of drama over much of nothing imo
I'm not a panicky person and have never shout 'fire! fire!' when I've caught a frying pan alight or grill pan burning grease off.
But I guess it would be a reaction for a lot of people. I'm just sangfroid about most things and thankfully not a lot fazes me.

What a lot of drama over much of nothing imo
I'm not a panicky person and have never shout 'fire! fire!' when I've caught a frying pan alight or grill pan burning grease off.
But I guess it would be a reaction for a lot of people. I'm just sangfroid about most things and thankfully not a lot fazes me.

There wasn't 'a fire' though. A piece of baking paper had caught fire. That's completely different.

I set fire to a sausage once because I'd left it under the grill and forgot to turn it off.

I impressed my children by showing them how to put out a small fire using a damp tea towel (thanks Blue Peter!) But I also didn't consider us to have had a fire.

I suspect the husband's reaction was less to do with having checked out of family life (as someone suggested) and far more to do with having become bored of the dramatics.

My thoughts exactly.

Are you always this dramatic @Allthedays1 ?

Because this really was not a big deal - it’s parchment paper and the sink was close to you.

There wasn't a fire.