AIBU to feel jealous of families with gardens in summer?

[RheaTheaShea]

AIBU to be jealous of the people who have gardens in this heat and summer in general?

I’m a single parent with a 5 year old and we live in a block of 10 flats. There’s no balcony, only a tiny small shared garden or more of a courtyard actually. And everytime summer comes around I’m so jealous of people posting their gardens and kids in a paddling pools with mud kitchens and generally having a great time.
I know 100% people will say “just move!!” but sometimes it’s not that easy. I definitely had a look into it but now, at this very moment it’s not possible. I just wish i could give my child the joys of outdoor space and a pool and not relying on always going out when it’s so bloody hot and it’s not even enjoyable .

Judging by the amount of posts on here you’d be expected to sit in silence and not do anything that remotely makes a noise.

I’ve lived in a flat myself and get it, I missed a garden and the simple things that came with it like pegging out washing.

Can you invite yourselves over to a friends house for the afternoon? Take some yummy bits for the kids to day thanks. Not ideal and not for every day but you have to be forward sometimes for the kids sake!

Put a tiny pool and parasol in your shared space

Exactly. I feel for you!

Can you get a little pool down in the shared garden?

Everyone should have access to green spaces, and gardens. Our urban planning is deplorable.

I love my garden, and especially when the dc were small, they were much calmer and regulated for spending a couple of hours out puttering. It was the difference between lockdown being a nightmare and a lovely interlude. It’s a huge asset for mental health.

Have you complained to the council about the playground being unusable in hot weather? It’s important to feed back that sort of information because public spending has to be justified, and an observation like this changes the maths.

You are not being unreasonable at all. If if helps at all, it’s too hot in the garden atm. Even the cats are inside. But I’d find it hard to manage without it

My daughter has 2 small kids in a first floor flat and is desperate to move. It's hot and horrid . She's lucky that we live nearby so she often comes over and uses our garden. Do you have any friends or relatives who can share with you?

can you get a beach umbrella and dig it into the ground in the playground?

Yanbu
I adore sitting in my garden, tending to my plants, listening to birdsong.
One of my favourite things to do.

OP, I sympathise. When my DC were young, we lived in a house with a microscopic garden, and when we moved somewhere that had a bigger garden, I remember my DD saying she thought it should be against the law for families with children not to have a proper garden. Is it possible to put a paddling pool in your courtyard area?

I remember that when I lived on my own with my two in a flat. I totally understand how your feeling and Yanbu

I feel the same way. I love living in zone 2/3 of London and bring close to parks/art galleries/exciting things but on days like this I’d love to be able to let my toddler play in a garden rather than having to walk 10 minutes to a park instead

Its pros and cons.

Iove love my big garden in small village this week, when im off work for school holiday.

Next week i'll be back to the 1hr 15 min commute because small villages with big gardens do not have good jobs.

And the 20 min drive to the DC swimming lesson, because small villages with big gardens do not have good facilities.

I’m in a similar position and I have meebrship to a gardens place with splash pad that we go to a lot

Op do you have a big shower? Could you put a water play tray in there?

Lovely idea. I’m sure they will be an elderly couple that would love a mum and child to visit and use a paddling pool in their garden on hot days!

@ToffeeCrabApple bur the two are not exclusive. I lived in a flat with no outside space in a rural area not in central London. So it’s 25 minutes to the nearest supermarket, and small leisure centre. Also not the scenic nice version of rural that people tend to picture. We did have bridleways close by but that’s about it, no parks within walking distance etc.

We have a little park that is accessed from our road. It had no shade and some neighbours lobbied the council to get a couple if trees planted which they did.

No help to you in this heatwave.

I agree that a space to put a little paddle pool is frustrating not to have.

This is a really nice idea.

I've been really thinking about families in flats in this hot weather and how tricky it must be.
I know I'm lucky to have a nice garden and I would happily let a family use it. Paddling pool etc.

X
Are you in Essex OP?

Thank you everyone who can sympathise with me and to everyone who has been or is in the same situation, it is a bit shit yes.
To those who suggested paddling pool in the shared courtyard. I did that last summer but because we live on the first floor and under us there is, and I’m not afraid to call her grumpy and truly miserable lady and her French doors open directly to it, she went straight to landlord to complain about noise and nuisance before even speaking to us and unfortunately landlord took her side and was all about how she’s waking up early for work and needs to rest at afternoon after the work so can we just keep it down.
And as this is not the first time we have problems with her I honestly don’t even wanna go there and stress myself even more.
Maybe it’s the wrong approach I don’t know but i just don’t have mental capacity for her.

100% YANBU @RheaTheaShea When DH and I lived in a flat (in a block of 2 storey flats) when we first lived together, we had no garden for 3 years. I had always had (and loved) having a garden when I lived with my folks. We had a huge garden when I was growing up, (not posh or well off, just a big end plot on a semi detached house.) Well, it seemed huge, it was probably a third of an acre... We had so much fun my brother and I and all our mates. Swing sets and slide and trampoline and lots of trees to climb, and little nooks and crannies to explore! As it was an end plot - it backed onto a little woodland...

Anyway, when I had no garden for 3 years (and had only a communal garden shared with 31 other flats,) I missed it terribly, and fantasised about having a tiny corner of it just for DH and I... Just a 12ft x 12ft plot, that's all I wanted. With my own little washing line. I hated having to use a communal washing line!

Bought a house 3 years after moving in together, with a lovely 60 feet long garden! (30 feet wide.) It was so lush! I have a big garden again now - big end plot again, (about a third of an acre again,) and I would have died without my garden during lockdown, and really did feel sorry for people in flats...

So yes YANBU ... Having a garden is wonderful!

YANBU op, we lived in a top floor flat of a house when our dc were born until they were 3 and 4. Fortunately we had a very nearby local park which we made very good use of, and 4 family members living between our house and the park who always let us use their gardens so we were so very lucky. But we moved to a house with a garden and even now, 18 years later, I still appreciate the fuck out of being able to just fling the back doors open.
Sorry you’re missing easy access to safe outside space right now and I hope that changes for you in the future.

Yeah sorrry OP that sounds a bit rubbish. I’ve always been lucky to have some outside space and really value it. Even when the weather is pants. So I do sympathise and every heat wave and lockdown etc I’ve always though about the people who are stuck inside.

hard to change - I know. But hopefully one day you might have some?

I have to agree with this.

We have a large garden, which was wonderful when DC were growing up. They are now 21.5 and 18 and wonderful large garden is now a pain in the backside, particularly as both myself and DP have significant health issues.

I hope you acquire a lovely garden soon OP 😊