AIBU to feel jealous of families with gardens in summer?

[RheaTheaShea]

AIBU to be jealous of the people who have gardens in this heat and summer in general?

I’m a single parent with a 5 year old and we live in a block of 10 flats. There’s no balcony, only a tiny small shared garden or more of a courtyard actually. And everytime summer comes around I’m so jealous of people posting their gardens and kids in a paddling pools with mud kitchens and generally having a great time.
I know 100% people will say “just move!!” but sometimes it’s not that easy. I definitely had a look into it but now, at this very moment it’s not possible. I just wish i could give my child the joys of outdoor space and a pool and not relying on always going out when it’s so bloody hot and it’s not even enjoyable .

Do you live near countryside or is it very urban?

YANBU.

As much as so many MNetters moan about garden noise and smells etc, they are great to have.

YANBU but not sure what good it'll do you to be jealous of people, youve got to find a way to deal with it or change it; you cant live your life jealous.

We live in a city. There is a local park 5 minute walk away with a small playground which heats up to about +50 degrees with no shade at all. It’s just a miserable experience for both of us. It’s great for any other time but in the summer heat it’s unbearable that’s why I wish we had a garden and a pool.

When the weather is like this I think its perfectly acceptable to lament the lack of accessibile outdoor space near you.

We also have a shared garden and park <5 minute walk away. Both are too hot to use at the moment.

I would love to have a garden proper but don’t want to give up living centrally.

I too was in a block of flats with no balcony or garden when my DS was a toddler. Our family has extended by 2 extra kids so when we bought our house I was strict on an enclosed garden which we've now got and extremely fortunate to have. I really feel your frustration OP, especially when the weather is nice it's good to be able to give them their own time outdoors without venturing out.

I was in a similar situation OP and it is shitty.
we then moved to where there was a small communal garden but the neighbours were honestly the neighbours from hell so we felt too intimidated to use it. They deliberately made us feel uncomfortable so that no one else would use it.
we now have a tiny yard - literally just big enough to have one toddler sized paddling pool in and nothing else, the kids cant run around in it or anything, but it’s our own tiny bit of outdoor space when it’s really hot so it’s lovely and we really appreciate it.
when we didn’t have outdoor space we just went to the park/fields/woods whenever possible which is lovely to do, but not the same as having your own space.

We didn't have any outside space at all for the first 6 years of ds's life,I remember that feeling well OP.

I have a big garden my kids hate going outside lol

I used to not have a garden and it made me really, really sad. YANBU at all. Is there any chance of moving?

For council/housing association tenants looking for mutual exchanges the most common thing I see is “need a garden for my dog” which I do understand but kids need them more! Around my area (central London) most residential houses have been split into flats and all the ground floor flats are 1 bedroom with garden (allocated to single people) whilst the upstairs is converted to 2 bedrooms for families with kids and has no garden access - bad planning!

I was in a 1 bed 1st floor flat with partner and 3 kids (one an older teen!) - I get it and it’s so hard especially in this weather - don’t stress, it’ll be snowing again shortly I believe :)

I totally understand I was really sad when my kids were little that they didn’t have a garden.

Near where I walk the people in the flats put a paddling pool in the strip of grass that runs along the front in hot weather. Why not? Obviously not as good as a garden but great for the little one to cool off and have fun for an hr or so.

I completely get it. It’s horrible and no one will understand unless they have experienced it. First 11 years of my children’s life was in a flat with no balcony. Even today all these years later I am forever grateful for a garden.

Im quite the opposite, I dont have a garden because I dont like them.
I dont like houses either.
I had one once and hated it upstairs downstairs huge garden large drive, even had a brick shed end of the row first house on the street.
It was lovely but not me.
I swapped it for a flat with no garden never been so happier.

I felt the same when we lived in a flat. We lived in South Manchester but would sometimes go to the river Bollin which is waist height or lower in many sections and very calm. Some bits have a little island or even a sandy bank/'beach'. Loads of kids there during summer. Anything like that you can get to? Helps if you have a car as most places like this are in the edge of the countryside. Of course a beach would be the best if within easy distance.

Maybe pop a post on a local FB group re use of a garden? A bit out there but I would be more than happy to let someone use my garden for a couple of hours in summer for their little ones to enjoy!

In fact I am going to do this over summer when I am at work.

Can you get an inflatable paddling pool for your shared space? We lived in a flat when eldest was 0-2 and we had a small folding slide in the garden and would take his baby bath out as a paddling pool when he was tiny. You can get little carry cases that open out into water trays and same with sand trays (we HAVE a garden now and still just use a tuff tray and kinetic sand for sand play there days as it's easier to tidy up) grass is always greener. Well our grass is always overgrown to be honest 😂 my jealousy is for thso with patients doors as we have to go through our croded ramshackle back porch to access our garden. I found beat way was to find things that could mimic the garden experience.

Nobody is BU to wish they had something they don't have. It's normal human nature.

Nyanbu. Best room n the house in the Summer

You know what OP I am sure you will
make the move happen. Hopefully there are opportunities for you to move jobs/locations to find your perfect home. I was a lone parent for many years and moving out of London to have a garden was bliss. I made sure though it was a small garden than only took 20 mins to mow 😆

Got a very large garden that needs a lot of maintenance but it’s beautiful to be in especially with good weather and the kids love it.

You’re not being unreasonable but I would encourage you to try and get into any nature nearby if possible.

Yes, I thanked my lucky stars for having a garden and green areas during Covid. I don't blame you.

However, it's far too hot to be under direct sun now, so am hiding indoors! Pollen is bad now too.

I totally get it, its so nice just to open your back door and have some space to sit, hang your washing or for your children to play

We dont have the biggest of gardens but its still a garden which im thankful for.

I have a friend who lives near the city centre and they have some wonderful open spaces near them but its just not your own garden.