To struggle to believe people who say they’ve “never thought about their mental health”?

[HeartyCyanEagle]

I recently read an interview with Joan Collins where she said “I never have thought about my mental health, ever. My mental health is perfect.”

I find statements like that fascinating more than anything. Not because I think everyone must be mentally ill, be traumatised or constantly analyse themselves. But because being human inevitably involves stress, grief, insecurity, anxiety, emotional conflict, disappointment, loss, fear etc at some point.
I also sometimes wonder whether older celebrities/public figures from certain generations define “mental health” very differently altogether.

For example, Joan Collins has obviously lived an extraordinarily dramatic/public/emotionally eventful life across decades - multiple marriages, fame, pressure, heartbreak, public scrutiny etc, which is partly why I find the idea of someone never having reflected on their mental health genuinely fascinating.

So when people say they’ve literally never thought about their mental health, I sometimes wonder whether it reflects generational attitudes, repression/stoicism, different definitions of mental health, image management or genuinely just a very psychologically resilient temperament.

AIBU?

Lots just accept it’s part of life, and know how to deal with things, others don’t.

I didn’t say that at all. I meant she’s plainly not someone who sits around endlessly analysing her feelings or viewing every life experience through a mental health lens.

When Joan Collins was growing up the words mental health weren’t thrown around as much.

When Joan Collins was growing up, there was a World War on. I should think she learned at an early age, as did most of her generation, that you just got on with things because there were more important things to worry about than you being a bit scared or sad.

I think @Watercooler has said it perfectly. I don’t think about my mental health either - yes I have emotions of course but they pass (even if it takes time like grief). A friend (early 20s) said to me the other day “you’ve worked years what have you done for your mental health when you weren’t well” I was kind of surprised. I had to truthfully answer I had never thought of it, I just got on with things.

Joan probably sees the bumps in the road of life as something that we all go through and the accompanying emotions are quite usual and will pass. I agree with her.

I have thought about my mental health because I work in that field. I agree with others that people conflate mental health vs experiencing normal, yet sometimes strong and distressing emotions. I have been distressed, anxious, worried, sad etc but they have been in response to human experiences- death, worries about children, unpleasant medical procedures, speaking in front of 100 people etc.

the issue is that people don’t know how to rationalise what’s normal and what’s not and don’t have the tools to manage it.

Hollywood was or is a hotbed of people with mental health problems, we can see that for ourselves. What I’m saying is the words ‘mental health’ weren’t as overused as they are now.

Different definitions - I’m not sure what yours is, as you seem to be talking about wellbeing, emotions and life experiences rather than health.

Experiencing emotions, life events and having to push through difficult circumstances sometimes is not the same as being ill. Of course these things might precipitate a decline in mental health in someone prone to mental illness.

To me, mental ill-health is something that can be diagnosed by a doctor.

Certainly there are lots of everyday things people can do to sustain good mental health and mental wellbeing. Some people think about that, others adopt good habits for other reasons - usually just the way they’ve been brought up.

That doesn’t mean those people are at risk of mental illness - or that they aren’t. Well-being and illness are different things.

I understand it to mean that although most people have to deal with grief, stress, tension etc, they manage to get through these periods without too much difficulty, and cope with them. They are fortunate in not needing medication, therapy or external support. To be honest, I think that's a lot of us.... call it the "stiff upper lip", if you will.

Op do you sit and think about your mental health? Is this where it is coming from?

It is not generational no. It is about the individual, resilience mental wellbeing and fortitude, in the face of very trying circumstances I’ve never considered my mental health, as I was always aware I was strong enough to withstand the storm. It simply didn’t occur to me,,my mental health would only be considered if I could not cope.

whats interesting is you just list normal life. The stuff we all go through. And I don’t think people of any age sit and consider their mental health for the normal tribulations of life.

It’s not something I put thought into generally, I am right now because you posed the question but generally no. I’ve been through lots of objectively bad things and at the time felt very sad or scared or whatever but they were appropriate emotions for the scenario so it didn’t lead to me questioning why I was feeling that way or feeling like I needed to do anything to change or address the issue.

I’m not sure you struggle to believe people who’ve never thought about their MH. That’s the norm - certainly should be. Everyone gets anxious, stressed, depressed in response to certain events, but that’s not having MH issues. That’s having a very normal reaction to an external stimulus.

And the curmudgeonly bugger part of me thinks too many people these days don’t accept that, and think that if they’re depressed after a break-up then they’ve got MH issues. They haven’t usually.

I think it’s part and parcel of the same attitude. If you never introspect then you won’t be thinking about your mental health either.

Not really sure what you’re getting at.
People who don’t think about mental health issues don’t have any, by definition.
This isn’t just because they haven’t considered the matter deeply enough.

I am absolutely certain that DH has never, not once, thought about or worried about his mental health. He's the most stable person I have ever met. We've been through miscarriages, bereavement, ill health and some truly dreadful times and he has never once broken down or been anything other than supportive to all those around him.

Most of the time he pooters along quite happily and cheerfully and if you ask him if he's worried about anything (had a recent cancer check) he looks vaguely surprised and says 'Why would I? You can't change stuff'.

He's just accepting of the fact that shit happens and he will deal with it.

I haven't thought of my mental health. My brother has had psychiatric issues since a teenager. Mine's been fine, luckily.

I wonder if we might all take a leaf out of Joan Collins' book. Not in the way that some are doing on here, with the "just get on with it" rhetoric. Which actually can be very limiting. I've met a lot of people who profess to have "just got on with it" and mostly they are the least sorted, most unpleasant people to be around because they're obviously carrying a lot of unexamined baggage and anyone who is near them ends up dealing with it.

But the way I think might be helpful is to stop thinking in terms of "illness" or "wellness" - after all, how can a mind be ill? How can a thought process be unwell? Blatantly this is not something that is physically true.

Maybe we need to stop thinking about illness and fixing it, and acknowledge that what we're really talking about is fixing the human condition, which in itself is impossible. But the reason we're trying to fix the human condition is because life can be tough, and at certain points in it we all can benefit from a bit more support than our social circle allows, and it's okay to do that and doesn't mean there's something wrong with us.

This

Maybe she just accepts the ups and downs are life.

Maybe she doesn't need a diagnosis and just accepts normal day to day events ans doesn't catastrophise them.

Maybe she copes because she has to??

What an absolute breath of fresh air this thread this is!

Thank you all!

Surely it’s like some people never have to think about their weight? We are made differently and for some people they have to think about what they eat, exercise etc some people are naturally slim . Ive never been depressed but Ive experienced grief. But I saw that as a natural by product of a loss not a mental health issue. So yes, I dont think about my mental health

Thie.

Me too, it's not something I ever thought about. There's far too much treating normal feelings as some sort of condition and it's no wonder so many young folk have absolutely no resilience at all

Is there though?

I wonder, for you, at what point does a "normal feeling" become a "condition"? I mean, presumably that point exists. I would guess it's when a person is acting in a way that is socially unacceptable eg being too loud/sad/smelly/naked or whatever. So is the feeling that prompted such behaviour now not a "normal" one? Bit of a big thing to call, because that's an entirely normal feeling for the person you're looking at. It's the only feeling they know - how can it not be "normal"? It's different from your feelings, yes, but then everyone on the planet has different feelings from you. We all have our own.

People react differently to the same “feelings”. As a pp says, some people have no resilience at all and are floored by things other people would take in their stride, even though it’s no pleasanter for them than it is for anyone else.