To struggle to believe people who say they’ve “never thought about their mental health”?

[HeartyCyanEagle]

I recently read an interview with Joan Collins where she said “I never have thought about my mental health, ever. My mental health is perfect.”

I find statements like that fascinating more than anything. Not because I think everyone must be mentally ill, be traumatised or constantly analyse themselves. But because being human inevitably involves stress, grief, insecurity, anxiety, emotional conflict, disappointment, loss, fear etc at some point.
I also sometimes wonder whether older celebrities/public figures from certain generations define “mental health” very differently altogether.

For example, Joan Collins has obviously lived an extraordinarily dramatic/public/emotionally eventful life across decades - multiple marriages, fame, pressure, heartbreak, public scrutiny etc, which is partly why I find the idea of someone never having reflected on their mental health genuinely fascinating.

So when people say they’ve literally never thought about their mental health, I sometimes wonder whether it reflects generational attitudes, repression/stoicism, different definitions of mental health, image management or genuinely just a very psychologically resilient temperament.

AIBU?

I have never thought about mine, but I’ve still been anxious, worried, very upset etc. now and then. But I look on these states as normal, things you just have to get on with/grin and bear, since they’re so often just part of life.

n

??

Did you just describe schizophrenia as a “so-called illness”??

I dont understand some people here -" ive been though grief/heartbreak/trauma and dealt with those feelings , its just life..."

Yes everyone has issues and difficult emotions and for the most part, I imagine people can and do deal with them as temporary, unpleasant parts of life. But this doesnt negate the fact that for some people those difficult situations trigger a MH problem, not because they aren't resilient or didnt get a grip or pull themselves together or whatever other phrase you want to use. Also you cant tick boxes and say that person shouldn't, or didnt have MH issues because they eg dont work/had less mental load/live in a nice house etc. It doesnt work like that!

I have 2 kids, I got PND with the second, who was actually a far easier baby than DC1. It was different to feeling a bit low for a few days. I had counselling and anti depressants, and got through the worst sleep deprivation, and got through it. Ive had depression, PND, anxiety and anorexia, and I dont believe any were brought on by a lack of resilience. At the moment my mental health is good, and I probably dont generally think about it on a day to day basis.

Im actually quite astonished at the minimising of MH issues on this thread.

I don't think that what's people are trying to say, I think they are saying that if you experience something and are able to process it and move on in a typical and usual fashion that the ups and downs of life can happen to you without you contemplating your mental health whereas the OP suggested that people must have had these experiences so it was unusual (disingenuous?) to be in late adulthood and not have thought about mental health.

I think it's a generation thing. I'm in my 60s and have had ups and downs but I don't need to think about my mental health. I don't think it helps if that makes sense. I have people I can talk to, I know that things pass and other things are out of my control. I feel that using the term regularly is counterintuitive and unhelpful for people who really do need help.

@Fizbosshoes i cant speak for everyone else but I think you’ve misinterpreted what I was saying, I wasn’t ever minimising mental health conditions! Actually the complete opposite, I was saying how serious they are.
I was saying that normal life emotions aren’t the same as actual serious mental health conditions and that’s what I’ve understood some previous posters saying too!

Why are you all bothering? OP hasn't bothered to come back since her first post 27 hours ago.

See I remember JC in the days were she was challenging the journalists about asking her if she cleaned her own kitchen. She tried to speak out and got even worse back. That was actually a headline the next day "selfish actress too lazy to clean her own floors". The sexisim and objectifying was extreme for all girls and women. I agree that it's a case of seeing it all as part of life and getting on with it. It was ether get lost addie in alcoholism/drug use (which both Hattie Jacques and Joan Sims did) or think fuck them and live life.

@Fizbosshoes you've actually agreed with what people are saying. You had mental health episodes, actual conditions. You didn't have fluctuating emotions that come with a full life.

Perhaps she sees any emotions such as anger, stress and grief she has experienced as normal healthy reactions to circumstances rather than a sign of pathology.

The years that JC and the posters Mum were growing up in, meant damp housing. Have you seen the slum housing 1930-19-70? Polio and TB (consumption) was a constant fear. How you were going to feed your children, if you were going to survive childbirth. Life without the NHS, wide range of antibiotics, vaccinations., welfare state. As a woman you would be a carer for wider family, housework and washing were hard going. Then WW2, many men were unlucky to have to fight in both. That's without fear of pregnancy, fear of your husband leaving/beating/raping you. The sexual harrasment and low level sexual assaults, everywhere you went, that were still present in the 1980's. Surviving it all was an achievement. Your life is piss easy in comparison.

Because it's an interesting topic.

It doesn't make her not a narc though (all women are subject to sexism - even the awful ones!). I'm thinking of things like the comment about her sister coming back as a fly. I think it's in one of the recent documentaries about Jackie Collins (BBC perhaps iirc). And then someone else posted that her son had suggested similarly.

Narcissist! That's another thing. Very few people are narcissists but on MN people are always saying their MIL, mum, ex-H, colleague is a narcissist. They're not, you just don't like them.

The criteria for NPD are widely available and people can see when someone they know well (have lived with in many cases) fits these criteria.

Estimates vary for the prevalence of NPD in the general population but some studies put it as high as 16% from what I understand. Even if you go with the lower estimates it's still high enough that everyone will know multiple people with this disorder.

I don't know for certain that JC is a narc but from what has been written and said about her and what she's written and said about others, she certainly ticks a great many of the boxes. Her own son has described her as a narcissist.

Personally I dislike a great many people I've come across in my own life but would only call one or two narcissists on the basis that I knew them well enough to know that they met most of the criteria given in the diagnostic manuals without any ambiguity at all (I have been lucky with a great family though who taught me how to make healthy friendships). I can't say I've noticed anyone else calling everyone they dislike a narcissist either. It's mostly used by people who have reason to have a good understanding of the term.

My last partner had never been to see a psychologist, psychiatrist or counsellor. Had never been prescribed antidepressants. I was fascinated by this (which says a fair bit about me!) Neither had his siblings. Our relationship had a few ups and downs, but it was peaceful. I found his stability very attractive. People who don't think about their mental health walk among us, and I hope some of them will walk near me.

Surely he wasn't the only person you've ever met who has never seen a psychologist, etc?

That’s what I was wondering. I would struggle to think of more than 2 people I know who have seen a therapist. There are a couple who probably should!

People can refuse to see psychologists, because they suspect a diagnosis and don’t want it confirmed.

Indeed. You would possibly have a mental health problem if you DIDN’T experience them. That wouldn’t be normal.

He was the first. I may have had acquaintances who had never had 'help' for their problems, but nobody I was close enough to pour my heart out to. Now that I'm much older, and very far away from my family of origin, it's likely I know quite a few.

A lot of people credit the robin, feather etc they see as a dead relative. Joan said that wherever she traveled, she seemed to be followed by a little fly and felt comfort thinking it was Jackie trying to tell her that she is always either her. The son has made a lot of accusations against different people. Five years after making the accusations, he asked Joan to walk him down the isle and all three of her children are cose to her.

Hmm, yeah, I remember the niece that was interviewed on the documentary wasn't massively impressed with this story about her mum coming back as a fly. It's clearly quite a hurtful thing to say about someone's deceased parent. Robin or feather would be far nicer!

I'm not massively invested in whether JC is a narc or not - I just think she ticks a lot of the boxes. The fact she's loaded probably helps keep some family members close but then again I'm sure she's also very entertaining and engaging and has some very positive qualities too. She's certainly had an interesting life!