To struggle to believe people who say they’ve “never thought about their mental health”?

[HeartyCyanEagle]

I recently read an interview with Joan Collins where she said “I never have thought about my mental health, ever. My mental health is perfect.”

I find statements like that fascinating more than anything. Not because I think everyone must be mentally ill, be traumatised or constantly analyse themselves. But because being human inevitably involves stress, grief, insecurity, anxiety, emotional conflict, disappointment, loss, fear etc at some point.
I also sometimes wonder whether older celebrities/public figures from certain generations define “mental health” very differently altogether.

For example, Joan Collins has obviously lived an extraordinarily dramatic/public/emotionally eventful life across decades - multiple marriages, fame, pressure, heartbreak, public scrutiny etc, which is partly why I find the idea of someone never having reflected on their mental health genuinely fascinating.

So when people say they’ve literally never thought about their mental health, I sometimes wonder whether it reflects generational attitudes, repression/stoicism, different definitions of mental health, image management or genuinely just a very psychologically resilient temperament.

AIBU?

it is normal life. Everyone does this. It doesn't make us more capable than our grandparents.
Our modern life is light miles easier than their was.
If nothing else, I can't imagine having children without disposable nappies. My Mum had to wash mine. By hands. In cold water. She didn't have washing machine and heating was on a few hours a day only. And there wasn't baby formula or baby food jars, so everything had to be cooked and pureed. For each meal.

ETA: we are all different. People who struggle with team calls in the car are all welcome to stack shelves - mobiles are banned on shop floor.

and the point is normal life now includes a mental health epidemic. Caused by normal life

Tbf I could probably find you someone born in 1989 who’s less than 10% as capable as you are (assuming you’re of average or better competency), so I’m not really sure what the point is here? It’s not unanimous that people born 100 years ago were less capable than we are now. At a societal level, I’d guess they were probably more capable.

Didn’t you say your nan’s normal (wartime) life also ruined her mental health? So it’s about the same as it was 100 years ago?

let's agree to disagree

(Younger) people are brought up to believe that normal emotions are mental health issues.

Well, compare jobs. I can’t think of one job from the 1950s that I couldn’t do after Being shown. Not one.

my nan? She wouldn’t have been capable of meeting any of the expectations of normal corporate life. Hell, I don’t think she even would’ve been capable of a degree (maybe not even a levels) despite her being educated and intelligent.
No transferable skills, no leadership skills, no ability to deal with the things people are now expected to deal with on a daily basis.

now I know what you’ll say 🙄 that plenty of people can’t do that now! And you’re right.

But a hell of a lot more do it now than did it back then. That’s capitalism and the shift to the service sector.
And it’s undeniably more mentally taxing, more mentally stressful and your brain is undeniably less able to deal with it.

Do you really know anyone who thinks a normal emotion is a mental health problem? How has this played out to you, what has happened to them?

I wonder if even chat gpt can find the point where discussion about any subject in the UK doesn't end with jawing on about WWII, despite the UK being one of the less affected countries re civilian loss/infrastructure damage.

Here’s a job you couldnt do.. work in the diplomatic service!

The same as in… a world war? Doesn’t seem the same does it?

anyway, I don’t know what you mean. Don’t forget there were no mental health problems in those days because they were so resident! Joan Collins said so so it must be true

Yes I could. Not much need for them in the 30s/40s though. But yes, I could join all the women in the diplomatic service back then. A whole diplomatic service full of our outstandingly capable nans.

There wasn’t much need for a diplomatic service during a World War ?!

There probably wouldn't have been a war

And therefore no resilience at all!

We'd all be like fucking shell-less molluscs now, if all of our nans had been in the diplomatic service and averted blighty's finest hour.

😂 she could’ve served them some lumpy mash out of an ice cream scoop and all would’ve been forgotten (or hitler would’ve topped himself far sooner to avoid eating it)

yes, of course.

Most of under 30 ones I used to work with.
Having spent all night in A&E with terminal DH went back to work at 8am, then at 10am had to support an aspiring manager in his early 30s who had "a stressful" meeting where it was pointed out that he made multiple mistakes in numbers so he asked a mental health day off.

That isn’t a mental illness is it. He had a day off

I occasionally think about my mental health….and then think better of it. Not everything needs to be resolved and it is perfectly possible to live a happy and productive life without endless therapy, exploration and mulling over.

I think for some people, this is their approach and I would imagine JC is one of them.

I never thought about mine until it was a bit too late and needed a doctor.

Careful. If it was anything like the floury horrors my mum used to dish up in the name of spud, he'd have easily built an outstanding bunker from it.

Anyway, I reckon it all evens out. The WWII generation were resilient heroes but the next four generations after them have never stopped fucking whining about the war (which they themselves never experienced) so likely everyone born post 1945 is a snowflake really.

I never think about my mh is akin to saying “I never think about my cardiovascular health” and thinking that’s only for people with heart problems.

Yabu

I’ve never given a thought to mental health.
I deal with things as they come and have good coping ability. Never felt in a crisis no matter what has happened so I don’t consider it as part of the situation

Not every feeling is something to be psychoanalysed. People cant cope with any mentally uncomfortable state and pathalogicise it. I had a friend like this...a bit of a crappy day where you want to curl up eating shite was depression. Really insulting to people with actual depression.

I genuinely fascinated to find out that some people will never think about it. I can’t imagine what it’s like to live that life

So have you never had episodes whether it be during pregnancy or postpartum or when you have two or three preschool kids or perimenopause or a divorce or death of somebody close to you? Has they never been any situation where you’ve actually felt ‘I can’t cope I cannot cope. I’m about to implode’. and it takes all your energy just to put 1 foot in front of the other to keep going, but you’re in a really really deep dark place? Or anxiety that makes you feel sick to the stomach when you see emails you have to action or the phone rings or you get a letter from School or do you think you’re about to lose your job and you don’t know how you’re going pay the bills?

Or your child is being bullied and you can’t seem to get anybody to listen and your husband’s got some medical condition and your mother is dying all at the same time and you just feel like there is nothing left in need to give. In situations like that, what is the experience you have?

And I’m genuinely asking because I cannot conceive of a life where there aren’t times where I wouldn’t feel like I can’t cope with this or I can’t go on Not just I feel a bit frustrated or tired or overwhelmed, but to the point that I can’t breathe properly and I might be shaking or I can’t sleep or I can’t eat

sorry if there are some weird typos I’m speaking to text so sometimes it translates a bit weirdly

So, no worrying about your spouse or father not coming back from the war for years, or worrying that a bomb dropped on a neighbour’s house and killed them all, or how to make rations stretch for growing children, or sending your children off to live with strangers for years as evacuees, or you can’t afford to pay for a doctor to see your child with scarlet fever…