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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Have we, in the UK, become selfish, lawless and irresponsible?

277 replies

Commencethe · 27/05/2026 08:12

This Bank Holiday seems to have descended into chaos and honestly I am starting to wonder what is happening to people generally.

This weekend alone there have been reports, tragically, of teenagers drowning in rivers and reservoirs, emergency services unable to reach one incident because of illegal parking, beauty spots gridlocked with abandoned cars, beaches overwhelmed with people drinking and taking drugs to excess, fights, weapons, rubbish left everywhere, police being called because a pair of teenagers were apparently having sex openly in a park, and racist outrage because a tourist attraction acknowledged Eid and invited people to celebrate it.

What strikes me is that this feels much wider than just young people behaving badly. Adults blocking roads and verges because they cannot be bothered to park properly. Families leaving litter behind. People ignoring safety warnings around open water. Whole communities unwilling to challenge awful behaviour because someone else should deal with it.

And every time there is discussion afterwards, the blame immediately goes to lack of education, the police, the council, schools, anyone except the individuals involved, their parents, or society more broadly.

I also wonder whether increasingly populist politics and public discourse have plays a role. Constant anger, division and disrespect towards other people, experts, authority and even basic rules seems to have filtered into everyday behaviour. More entitlement, less responsibility, less thought for anyone else.

At what point did personal responsibility disappear? When did we stop caring about our impact on other people or lose any sense of community?

It all feels increasingly selfish, lawless and entitled. Less consideration, less accountability, less self discipline.

Have standards genuinely collapsed or am I overreacting and being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
latetothefisting · 27/05/2026 17:08

worriedmumofgirls · 27/05/2026 16:55

A farmers field near my village was taken over at the weekend with people. I’ve never seen him so angry! Police did nothing.

Im talking Bbqs, gazebos, horrendously loud music. Kids and adults shouting and screaming.

First time it has ever happened and non of them are local so no idea why they chose that particular field 😂

He should have started spraying manure around (as they seem to do on every hot day in the farms by me!) - that would have shifted them quickly!

(Not moaning BTW - well I am a bit but do understand that that manure goes towards growing the food I eat!)

Sunshinetime199 · 27/05/2026 17:09

frozendaisy · 27/05/2026 16:52

Well I saw some of the social media videos calling for teens largely to gather at various beaches and they were of facecovered male teens holding fuck long machete knives. Waving them about.

What I don't understand is if you are a teen and think "oh let's go and have a look what's going on" what is going through your mind? Why would you want to be anywhere near there? They know that stabbings happen. They know randoms are killed. Life over before it has even begun. And worse case scenario aside, why would you turn up to give these hooligans

We've had to talk to our teens about what happens if they are out and a flash mob starts to form. My parents never had to consider these things.

The BBC article this morning on the increase, steep increase, of suspensions from school that have homophobia, sexism, racism or ableism as a contributing factor, which was indicated that not all of this can be dealt with in a classroom and there must but external influences, home life, which inspire this poison in the first place. Which is totally understandable, the rise of far-right politics has allowed, encouraged, persuaded many adults that only straight, pale males are of worth.

Many parents, and adults themselves, don't care about decency as long as they are popular. Many people are beholden to "likes" online as value of their worth and the most popular of posts are not people playing rounders in the park are they?

How much is social media? Especially for the youngsters. Get the right formula, get enough likes, you can then live like a millionaire. And the tech gods in silicon valley get richer and richer in their golden gated castles whilst teenagers get stabbed for going to the beach.

Social media is banned in this house, not youtube but tiktok, mainly, and snapchat. Doesn't really help that much with the society our teens are part of. But it's what we can do right now.

Bournemouth beach is beautiful and peaceful when it’s locals and normal day trippers outside of busy weekends.

Its people coming down from large cities causing all of the problems on that beach. I’d say cancel the trains on busy weekends down here, but that would be totally unfair on families and every other responsible person heading to the beach.

Facial recognition cameras hopefully could play a big part if they were on every train, station, bus, main areas around the beach, increased police presence. It shouldn’t be this way but we can’t let the dregs of society from the cities ruin it for the rest of us.

As for the cars parked up illegally, tow them away and crush them. Put out signs so people know exactly what will happen.

Lilmisskayos86 · 27/05/2026 17:12

Yanbu....I have had it with my neighbours. They are entitled and violent. I have threats to kill me by them and I'm pregnant, they don't care. I have also noticed this since COVID. I don't know what is happening to people these days. Parents cba to parent their kids. I would be so ashamed if my children acted the way some children behave and adults are no better, no manners or respect for anyone else.

latetothefisting · 27/05/2026 17:12

GardenTable · 27/05/2026 10:31

Over 500 public swimming pools and leisure sites have permanently closed across the UK since 2010, with roughly 42% of those losses occurring since 2020 alone.

Edited

And those that are still open have hugely reduced their swimming times AND the temperature of the pool AND put their prices up.

I used to have a membership that allowed me to use all the council leisure centres in my city - there are 2 equidistant to my house so used to go to swim in both of them. Before covid they both had several swimming sessions on every single day. Now one has closed completely and the other has one family swim session on Saturday and one adult lanes session on Sunday. And that's it.
And its £9 a session to go if you arent a member.

Flamingojune · 27/05/2026 17:12

Twisterlollies · 27/05/2026 16:52

That’s wealth related not because the environment is good for them.

Not having to drive everywhere is not wealth related

Mrsbadger77 · 27/05/2026 17:15

There is a certain underclass in my view who have just tapped out. They think they are above the law, only interested in themselves, no pride in their community or home and absolutely no shame at all. I think this has been the case for a while but it appears to be getting worse - these are my observations not driven by media. It is very noticeably different to other countries I've visited or lived in. I don't know what the reason is , yes there is poverty but there has always been and this would not stop people having pride in themselves and their community.

Flamingojune · 27/05/2026 17:16

fairydustt · 27/05/2026 17:03

I was saying exactly this to a friend today, many people no longer know how to behave.. littering, smoking/vaping and blowing it in peoples faces, barging onto trains and not letting people off first, aggressive driving, playing music out-loud for everyone to hear, I was hiking up Ben Nevis a couple years ago and there was a couple with a boom box hiking up it near me, as if everyone wants to hear your shit music up a mountain! Still though there are nice people around and it’s very easy to focus on the negative and spiral and think everything and everyone is shit

Exactly, most people do know how to behave and are decent human beings

ProudCat · 27/05/2026 17:17

Caesar arrived 2,000 years ago, got straight back on his ship because he thought we were all drunken yobs. The Romans didn't come back for a bit.

Marycontrarygarden · 27/05/2026 17:18

Commencethe · 27/05/2026 08:12

This Bank Holiday seems to have descended into chaos and honestly I am starting to wonder what is happening to people generally.

This weekend alone there have been reports, tragically, of teenagers drowning in rivers and reservoirs, emergency services unable to reach one incident because of illegal parking, beauty spots gridlocked with abandoned cars, beaches overwhelmed with people drinking and taking drugs to excess, fights, weapons, rubbish left everywhere, police being called because a pair of teenagers were apparently having sex openly in a park, and racist outrage because a tourist attraction acknowledged Eid and invited people to celebrate it.

What strikes me is that this feels much wider than just young people behaving badly. Adults blocking roads and verges because they cannot be bothered to park properly. Families leaving litter behind. People ignoring safety warnings around open water. Whole communities unwilling to challenge awful behaviour because someone else should deal with it.

And every time there is discussion afterwards, the blame immediately goes to lack of education, the police, the council, schools, anyone except the individuals involved, their parents, or society more broadly.

I also wonder whether increasingly populist politics and public discourse have plays a role. Constant anger, division and disrespect towards other people, experts, authority and even basic rules seems to have filtered into everyday behaviour. More entitlement, less responsibility, less thought for anyone else.

At what point did personal responsibility disappear? When did we stop caring about our impact on other people or lose any sense of community?

It all feels increasingly selfish, lawless and entitled. Less consideration, less accountability, less self discipline.

Have standards genuinely collapsed or am I overreacting and being unreasonable?

What dickheads are annoyed at Eid celebrations?

SleepingStandingUp · 27/05/2026 17:19

Well, there's no we in this. I'm not like that, the peopel I associate with, my kids aren't. Yes there are people like this and yes it is their fault but it is a limited number of people, not mass looting and rioting in every street

SleepingStandingUp · 27/05/2026 17:20

Marycontrarygarden · 27/05/2026 17:18

What dickheads are annoyed at Eid celebrations?

The kind who think it's isn't ENGLISH so it shouldn't be in ENGLAND, those foreigners coming over here and telling us we can't celebrate Christmas or Jesus and then SHOVING EID IN OUR FACES.

So, idiotic one.

Marycontrarygarden · 27/05/2026 17:28

SleepingStandingUp · 27/05/2026 17:20

The kind who think it's isn't ENGLISH so it shouldn't be in ENGLAND, those foreigners coming over here and telling us we can't celebrate Christmas or Jesus and then SHOVING EID IN OUR FACES.

So, idiotic one.

Fucking hell....have they nothing else to be worried about than someone else's religion? I assume they eat only ENGLISH food and drink only ENGLISH beer and buy only ENGLISH CARS?

plasticplate · 27/05/2026 17:39

Given the fighting on sea fronts in 1964 I don't think bank holiday chaos is anything new.

RudolphTheReindeer · 27/05/2026 17:41

I was thinking about the teens and swimming yesterday and that we don't have the public information ads like we used too about these types of things. I think they should come back! Not just for kids either, I quite liked the 'don't be a space invader' one done recently.

MaturingCheeseball · 27/05/2026 17:43

I agree with an earlier poster that we are overcrowded, and too many (me included!) have access to cars. Plus this obsession with doing something .

I have seen numerous posters on here wailing about how they are going to “fill” a weekend/half term/summer or one at Christmas saying they’d only booked four fun activities. How about just hanging out?

The litter factor is disgusting. Can we not have a national campaign to educate people? It’s abominable that people think it’s of no consequence to throw rubbish out of car windows or to leave the beach in a foul mess.

TwelvePiecesOfFlair · 27/05/2026 17:58

I can’t believe you are including the accidental deaths of 4 children in your rant. And blaming their poor parents?
You do know teens dont always listen to parents?
Awful.

Weald56 · 27/05/2026 18:02

Newsenmum · 27/05/2026 08:17

People are miserable and poorer than ever before so they need to get their bit of sun and they are raging. All a bit miserable I agree.

No they are not - "poorer than ever before" - indeed most people are better off than ever before*. however it is true that other people are much better off and the gap between those on an average income and, say, those on the top 15% income is much greater. I think it fair to say that people are more miserable due to envy than ever before.

*If you grew up in the 1950s/60s you quite possibly didn't have a car or a TV, and only had one radio and camera in the house. You might well not have a telephone (there were two in 17 houses in the street I grew up in for example). And a summer holiday was most likely two weeks in a cramped boarding house in a seaside resort, where they turfed you out after breakfast until supper, even if it was raining... so you had to shelter in a beach hut on a wet day.

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 27/05/2026 18:03

I just read about some utter idiots swimming in the wildlife ponds in Hampstead Heath, disturbing the swans and the wildlife life, during nesting season.

What’s wrong with people?

SwirlyGates · 27/05/2026 18:08

FinchiePink · 27/05/2026 08:22

Too many people, significantly increased ability to travel (rise in personal cars), a disposable economy which generates lots of rubbish at the best of times, and a rise in the expectation that you must go somewhere and do something (rather than stay at home or in your local area and just enjoy some downtime) all mean that what used to be pleasant natural areas now turn into little more than overcrowded cesspits on any weekend with reasonable weather.

I've grown up near somewhere that about 15 years ago was unheard of. It's not particularly special, it's nice with open space and trees and there's a good couple of walks but that's about all I can say.

Now it is - quite literally - covered in shit after the bank holiday. Not all of it dog either.

If I was the owner I'd introduce a strict quota on how many people can come in, charge for entry, and use those fees to pay for a warden to make sure people behave like civilised people and not apes.

It's another place ruined by too many people trying to cram into it.

I don't know what the answer is sadly.

Yes, everywhere is busier. It's like during covid people couldn't go anywhere or do anything, so now they can they will, even though they didn't want to before!

Locally, car parks for green spaces are now full by 9am at the weekends or bank holidays, and people park along the unsuitable road instead, whereas previously you could turn up at pretty much any time and find a space.

Flamingojune · 27/05/2026 18:12

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 27/05/2026 18:03

I just read about some utter idiots swimming in the wildlife ponds in Hampstead Heath, disturbing the swans and the wildlife life, during nesting season.

What’s wrong with people?

I guess the swans will give as good as they get

SwirlyGates · 27/05/2026 18:14

Sunshinetime199 · 27/05/2026 13:39

It all comes back to one thing - parenting.

Bringing up decent children that wouldn’t dare swear, hurt anyone, be rude etc. If the car parks full and you sling your car anywhere, what is that teaching children watching? Again, having a picnic and not clearing up, teaches the children it’s ok to litter and destroy our beautiful outdoor places. Children learn what they see.

There is no excuse, no conditions to blame, no way of blaming friends, internet, SM etc etc. Its plain and simple rubbish parenting and they’ve failed to bring up their children well.

That just pushes the question further back though, a bit like, "If God made the universe, who made God?" If the current generation of parents are so bad, why is that? Is it down to their own parents? Or something else?

Flamingojune · 27/05/2026 18:15

Statistically, humanity is living in the most prosperous era in history regarding wealth, health, and life expectancy.

DisrobeDatrobe · 27/05/2026 18:22

DeftGoldHedgehog · 27/05/2026 08:36

You sound positively ancient with that comment. I'm 50 and remember people moaning about other people in exactly the same way 30 years ago and resolved never to be that moany old person.

Oh, I've no qualms at all about being a moany old person or sounding ancient. Youth is overrated.

Dancingsquirrels · 27/05/2026 18:22

I think social contract is broken

And less sense of community / responsibility / shame

Backedoffhackedoff · 27/05/2026 18:27

frozendaisy · 27/05/2026 16:52

Well I saw some of the social media videos calling for teens largely to gather at various beaches and they were of facecovered male teens holding fuck long machete knives. Waving them about.

What I don't understand is if you are a teen and think "oh let's go and have a look what's going on" what is going through your mind? Why would you want to be anywhere near there? They know that stabbings happen. They know randoms are killed. Life over before it has even begun. And worse case scenario aside, why would you turn up to give these hooligans

We've had to talk to our teens about what happens if they are out and a flash mob starts to form. My parents never had to consider these things.

The BBC article this morning on the increase, steep increase, of suspensions from school that have homophobia, sexism, racism or ableism as a contributing factor, which was indicated that not all of this can be dealt with in a classroom and there must but external influences, home life, which inspire this poison in the first place. Which is totally understandable, the rise of far-right politics has allowed, encouraged, persuaded many adults that only straight, pale males are of worth.

Many parents, and adults themselves, don't care about decency as long as they are popular. Many people are beholden to "likes" online as value of their worth and the most popular of posts are not people playing rounders in the park are they?

How much is social media? Especially for the youngsters. Get the right formula, get enough likes, you can then live like a millionaire. And the tech gods in silicon valley get richer and richer in their golden gated castles whilst teenagers get stabbed for going to the beach.

Social media is banned in this house, not youtube but tiktok, mainly, and snapchat. Doesn't really help that much with the society our teens are part of. But it's what we can do right now.

Went to watch a knife fight when I was12, in 1991.

i can’t really say why I did it- the danger you describe really didn’t occur to me though. I can only liken it to going to watch a regular fist fight, which we did all the time circling around chanting “fight fight fight”. It was a pretty violent time tbh.

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